Mike Tyson's NEW comeback
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by user Manny Stiles
First there was the a$$-whooping he put on Frank Bruno to recapture the WBC title, then Tyson-Holyfield II, then the face tattoo comeback, then there was the "I need money 'cause the tax man has my butt in a sling" comeback, then there was the "I just need money to feed my pigeons" comeback, then there was the "I'll do anything for money including Jenna Jameson" comeback that never quite materialized, now there's this...
Mike Tyson is going to be a UFC fighter
If he wasn't 40 years old, I'd give him a sporting chance.
Now let me set it straight. Today, I LOVE Mike Tyson. I honestly would enjoy spending a few moments to talk with him, see his views on things and let him know I don't think he's an animal. Since he lives few miles away here in Scottsdale, someday I may get my chance to interview him for Armchair... (hey, a whackjob can dream, can't he?)
Personally, I'm not afraid of Mike. He's a human after all and I answer to something greater than any human. Irregardless, I spent most of my rambunctious 20's touting how I would jump in the ring with him for a mere million bucks AND I would last more than a round; in a heartbeat. Well, 7 unlucky concussions, 80 hard earned pounds of fat and a wife/two children that I love dearly later, I'm not quite as cocky anymore...
I think Mike Tyson is one, if not THE MOST misunderstood people on the planet. I used to hate/HATE/despise him when he was on top/champion/untouchable, because I'm a contrarian by nature (seriously) and I was a Holyfield guy (we have the same birthday) but I still admired the youngest heavyweight champ ever. Mike would come into the ring with a simple white towel with a hole cut in it for his head, rockin' plain black trunks, no socks and a pair of black Jordans to Public Enemy's anthematic "Don't Believe The Hype". Mike was the baddest dude. The closest thing to Ivan Drago possible, a destruction machine.
If only Cus D'Amato was still alive, he might STILL be champ! Seriously, I believe it 's possible. Cus 'got' Mike, was a Dad to Mike and knew how to keep Mike focused and out of trouble that was so easy to find; honed, hungry and sharpened, more than all of it Cus made Mike know he was LOVED for being Mike, not just for being a special talent. Because he did love Mike not only like a son, but like a real human being.
Without Cus around, Mike had the shortcoming of listening to everyone around him and well... he's just not a smart guy. Let me rephrase that, he's brilliant in his own way but when it comes down to it, has no ability to say 'No' - to women, Don King, fancy cars, spending cash for any reason...
Wait, Manny... did you say he's "brilliant"?
The man who wanted to eat children? The man who chews ears like beef jerky? The man who was headed 'to Bolivian'? The man with the face tribals? The man who said if Jesus was here today, they'd sit on a park bench and smoke joints together and discuss how fragile humanity is?
Yes.
Live a life like Iron Mike's did and you'll understand the darkest ugliest, most disgusting side of people like you cannot imagine. The experiences he lived you couldn't pay any amount to learn. He was a cash cow, a golden goose and when the milk and eggs stopped, everyone left him for dead. Which is what he'd probably have been a long time ago if it wasn't for Cus and boxing.
Robin Givens put a hurting on that boy. She was shameless about it. I still remember Bawbawa Walter's interview with Mike & Robin, when Robin did all the talking and explained how she had him medicated on this and that... yeah, medication NEVER messes people up or anything.
I still believe he wasn't guilty of rape. She came to his room at 2 in the morning for what now? To meet a celebrity and 'hang out'? OK, Katie Faber Sr... Don King gave Mike his friend/attorney for the rape trial in Indiana in front of a district judge looking to make a name for himself. Oh yeah, King's lawyer was a TAX attorney, not a criminal defender. What should have been his prime years were spent fighting legal battles, not epic battles in the ring. Funny thing is, after King siphoned Tyson's TENS of millions in earnings and left him with the tax implications to deal with, King AND said friend/tax attorney were long gone...
Mike retreated to his roots. To who he was before Cus D'Amato died. To the vulnerable boy who was all alone with only some flying rats to comfort him. Mike loves his pigeons, they are like himself... from the 'hood, street urchins. Unloved, unwanted and thought of as an ugly, stupid, useless animal by everyone.
With the downfall of Iron Mike, the Heavyweight division slowly unravelled. Even George Foreman had to come back from the dead to lend some excitement to boxing. Boxing will never be like it was in 1987, and we're really not better for it. When boxing is done right, pound for pound there is NO more exhilarating sport to watch.
Now we get to see Tyson take a shot at Ultimate Fighting. His slowed hands will be a little faster without 14 ounce gloves and he knows how to hit hard without breaking knuckles (remember - boxing gloves aren't for the hittee's head/body protection, it's for the hitter's knuckle protection) and I'm sure he'll be a nice draw for the promoters (once again). Come to think about it, Mike was always better suited for 3 rounds instead of 12, but these dudes will be salivatingly ready for him in too many ways. I hope he does ok, I hope he doesn't do something ABSOLUTELY crazy/bizarre. It may be more sad than fun to see... like Ali getting thrown from the ring by Andre the Giant when they fought in an exhibition match. Or Mike Tyson looking for a mouthpiece on a Tokyo mat, beaten in a manner that was oh-too-eerily-like the way you had to beat him in Mike Tyson's Punch Out(avoid the uppercut and return the quick jab over and over). While Buster Douglas watched on enjoying a cheesecake in his corner, we watched a killing machine turn into a mere ordinary human.
He's 40 years old. I hope he gets his finances straightened and gets out. He's given us more than enough entertainment already. What more do we want from him? What will/can he bring to the octagon? Other than people hoping to see a train wreck as it happens...
I'm one that doesn't want to see it. Mostly 'cause I'm not gonna blow $50 or whatever it will cost on PPV, but also because I just want to see him be at peace as Michael from Brooklyn again. He's earned it.
Date
Thu 08/31/06, 9:53 pm EST
