Mike Brown: Offensive Offensive Coordinator
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by user Batb
http://www.boovaandthebeast.blogspot.com
I apologize to our growing readership for the lack of entries on my part over the past 10 days or so, being an unemployed couch monster carries a demanding schedule.
- Before I delve into random topics, I would like to start my day by tearing apart the so called "coaching job" Mike Brown is claiming to do with the Cavs. Now, I did not get a live glimpse of his epic game management last night, but through the wonders of modern technology I was able to field a barrage of text messages/phone calls (mostly from Seth, and I thought his head had finally exploded) while also viewing replays. For those of you who haven't seen last nights game against the Heat, go to YouTube, I am too lazy to link to it. Anyhoo, unless Mike Brown is a quantum physicist and somehow managed to slip through the folds of the time-space continuum to arrive in another dimension where he thought he was coaching 4th grade CYO basketball, there is absolutely no excuse for the plays and sets they ran during crunchtime. I have actually witnessed playground games where 5 strangers have a more cohesive offense. For him to call a timeout with the game on line and then come up with the brilliance to have LeBron hold the ball at the top of key while the other 4 guys stand around, I mean, why isn't this guy already in the basketball hall of fame? He got one more opportunity to shine in overtime when the Cavs had a chance to tie, but he designed an ingenius play that allowed for the inbounds pass to be stolen. I'll be thoroughly amazed if this team finishes as the 2 seed in the Eastern Conference, and if they don't, you can bet your house on Mike Brown not returning as coach.
- Speaking of gambling, I have been using a fantastic website for the past 4-5 months or so that has been very informative regarding gambling on every sport imaginable. For everyone out there who has a gambling problem like me, its a great place to visit to stay informed, get picks and opinions, and even selections that you would normally have to pay for (called "service plays"). That being said, I am contemplating writing a weekly or bi-weekly gambling article discussing angles, picks, matchups, etc., that everyone should probably ignore since I tend to lose money. But in applying my own knowledge to the things I have picked up at capperslounge, these past few months have been a drastic improvement in my gambling career (notice how I call it a career, because I have no job and no intention of stopping) (actually I think that makes me an addict...oh well). So be on the lookout for gambling articles from me in the future.
- Technically, if you follow the Judeo-Christian calendar, we are currently experiencing the season of spring. However, if one were to look at the 7 inches of snow in my backyard, one would make the argument that this could only be spring in Antartica. With the beginning of spring is the beginning of baseball season and here at BATB we love baseball. Especially the Indians. And we have what is drastically exceeding a man-crush on Grady Sizemore. That being said, I almost feel obligated to do a MLB preview, but I'm not because I'm so lazy. Instead I am going to quickly predict the outcomes of the season and perhaps down the line discuss each team in a bit more detail.
AL Division Winners: Yankees, Twins, Angels. AL Wildcard: Red Sox
NL Division Winners: Mets, Astros, Giants NL Wildcard: Braves
ALCS: Angels over Twins NLCS: Mets over Giants
World Series: Mets over Angels
Call me crazy, thats how I see it breaking down.
- The NFL draft is a little over 3 weeks away, and while Seth already has stated his belief that the Browns are going to select Brady Quinn, I've held my tongue on the subject because I believed that a) he was wrong and b) I wanted to wait awhile before I shoved it in his face. I personally believe everything Phil Savage is doing is a smokescreen designed to throw every other team off and to enhance the possibility of trading out of the pick, be it up (hopefully not) or down. I do not believe they will trade the pick however, because I think Quinn is going to be off the board by #3, simultaneously debunking Seth's theory and further slimming an already thin trade market. The Lions already have a left tackle they paid a bunch of money too, Jeff Backus, so I really can't see them selecting one at #2, thus forcing them to either move Backus or Joe Thomas to the right side. Couple that along with Mike Martz being their offensive coordinator and I believe their pick is Quinn. I would say the Lions will choose between Quinn and Calvin Johnson, but Matt Millen will be "Saddam Hussein'd" in downtown Detroit if he selects another WR in the 1st round. IFFF that scenario plays out, which I believe it will, then the Browns will choose between Thomas, Adrian Peterson, and Johnson. Seeing as they drafted Braylon Edwards at #3 two years ago, Johnson is out, leaving Thomas and Peterson. I don't think they will pass on the chance to take the most complete back to come out in the last 10 years besides Tomlinson. Of course, I could be tripping off the stench of my own farts coming from the couch and none of this will make any sense.
I purposely chose not to discuss the national championship game for fear that my blood pressure would spike to abnormally high levels while I wrote about Joakim Noah. My doctor has advised me to stop watching fake black rich French kids try to play basketball. I'll be back in a couple days with some cutting edge material, or at least something juvenile.
- T-Rex
