Meet The Users: Manny Stiles
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by The Beast and Dr. Commento
Continuing the Meet The User: series we move on to the one and only Manny Stiles.
1. How did you learn about ArmchairGM?
I was creative writing and pretending to pimp my musical exploits on blogspot for a couple months after dominating the trash talking aspect of my fantasy football league - to the point where a guy in Oregon threatened to come to Arizona and fight me for verbally abusing him with unparalleled comedy. Apparently he was a “hockey player”. Then his buddy informed him of my Goon-like size and I offered him some of my World’s Best Fire-Roasted Salsa…
My wife suggested I branch out from smacktalking in fantasy leagues, interviewing dead guys, giving extraordinary diet advice, proving the stupidity of people and spreading my free movie ideas as well as running 8 other blogs at once, when no one was reading them anyway... and write about sports (my bliss). I created yet another blog for sports and started writing about sports and maybe three weeks later, DNL e-mailed me, asked if I wanted to write on "the ‘Chizzy" (my word not his).
I had tried writing on a couple other sites (to utter disgust), but I had actually crossed paths with AGM before (looking for something to fix my sports addiction that ESPN couldn’t deliver after HST’s passing). When I found out I could write all I want and not get paid for it I signed up and jumped right in, pissing off as many people as I could. It was easy, no one knew what/who they were dealing with.
2. How in the world did you ever become a Tampa Bay Rays fan?
It’s all part of the wondrous genius and driving mad-ness of this Erik Kombol guy that lives inside my head...
- I guess since I always stood up for the little guy, I deep down inside really wanted to be a fan, but had no reason to dedicate myself… I always picked them on video games (I try to make crappy teams awesome by adding ‘E. Kombol’ to their roster – he is QUITE an amazing athlete!) even though I swore them off after Steve Irwin’s tragic death.
- My brother died a few weeks after Irwin’s freek death under circumstances handled by my family that left me madder than hell. Read the eventually forthcoming book. (or my archives)
- An anonymous user later to be named Bronx4 (where’s MY recruiting points?) told me it was against the law not to have a favorite team. And he called me "Manwags" (short for Manwagon).
- I sold my fanwill and donated my fansoul on ebay (but not my fanspirit) for charity (http://www.pedaids.org)
- The media circus began – I did radio interviews, got made fun of and was even commended for being so witty and charming while still doing it for charity.
- Rays Team President Matt Silverman wanted to boost the bid but instead ended up winning me. And then gave an extra $1000 to the charity on his own. Coincidentally, he is a Rays fan. The fanspirit followed.
- It’s been pretty easy to be a beamingly proud Tampa Bay Rays fan ever since.
And yes, I saw the Yankees fan who sold himself on ebay and I am so pissed I forgot to make a bid before it ended – he went for $22.20 – I totally could have afforded that!
I could have been the first ebay fan to buy an ebay fan…!!!
3. You have often expressed the belief that people shouldn't necessarily be forced to like their local teams. Why?
Root, root, root for the Home team, right? Even at a makeup rainout where the team from the other city is the “home” team?
If you were born in Germany in 1936 should you HAVE to be a Nazi? If you were born in Darfur, should you HAVE to serve in the Army and rape girls and kill boys? Who says? If you were born a cannibal, would you HAVE to enjoy eating people?
I know you’re thinking that seems a bit extreme, but HAVE you been to a sporting event lately?
In America, we have this thing called FREEDOM. I choose to use it as much as possible. I’m biologically willing to do anything for my freedom. I cherish it deeply. When I see everyone doing the same thing, sirens go off and voices (other than the voices I'm used to) scream at me in my head. I am repulsed by the notion of doing things "because we always did it like that". That mentality is why sheep get back into the slaughter line if the first cut didn't go all the way through.
Why were you born where you were? To the parents you were?
I was born just outside Philly. If I don’t even like my parents, why MUST I like the Phillies??? Well, the Phillies were there for me at times when no one else was… so they had that going for them. But they also joined the Powder Blue Uniform movement (the Phils, not my parents) and I don’t think that can be forgiven…
Do you have to be an exact product of your environment or can you produce your own environment?
When “your” local team does something you don’t like are you supposed to “boo” them? Would you want the players on your team to boo their teammates? Aren’t you “part of the team” too? To me, booing “your” team is like calling your girlfriend ugly. And if the team is a part of you, you are booing yourself. What’s the point of that?
And don’t even get me started on the “we” “us” and “our” talk. I’ve met and interviewed Rays players, I’ve felt my heart ripped out during tough losses and I still cheer for the Rays. But I’m not on the payroll. I’m all for them, but “they” aren’t “we”.
Most people only know their local team so well that they become brainwashed to truth. I always liked the sports and the people who played them more than the people who made money off the show. So I tended to study the whole league. I wanted to know about the guys on both sides of the field. Hell, one day they might play for the “home” team and I could demonstrate my brilliance to them with a full scouting report.
And what if you live EXACTLY between two teams? HOW do you pick?
It’s all stupid; for a buck. Someone is always willing to screw you over for a buck. It’s consumer marketing. I say, be your own person not a tool. If it means you root for the same team as your parents, good for you. I root for the Suns because I am amazed routinely by Amare Stoudemire (my by-far favorite athlete to watch play) and the Phoenix Mercury because Diana Taurasi is a basketball goddess. They just so happen to be in the same town as me. If my favorite players leave I won't neccessarily be tied to the franchise any more...
4. Will the Phoenix Suns ever win an NBA championship in the Steve Nash-Mike D’Antoni era?
When I get my time machine and go back to last year.
That was it. It was the Suns title to be had, but I'm not bitter. I just feel bad for guys like Jerry Colangelo who has to carry this "NO Titles" monkey (Curse of the Gorilla?) on his back when he built Phoenix as a legit Sports Town.
At least he got his W.S. trophy!
But the Suns won't win it this year as they are constructed currently.
When Kobe forces the trade for Marion and Grant “Walking Jinx” Hill, cap exception $$$ and picks through (after Dec 15. - Hill can't be traded after just signing with the Suns) we'll see a different picture. Nash – Amare - Bryant would be S-I-C-K… or at least a better Nike commercial.
Don't count it out! My wife, the Die Hard Suns Fan says "they’re winning it all", just like the Mercury.
I’m not saying they won't, because they certainly can, but I'm of the same ilk as my Magic 8 ball - "Don't count on it"
5. You definitely have a unique writing style. Where does it come from?
Did you know the name “Manny Stiles” serves a purpose…?
Sure, I’m unique. I was born this way. My parents met each other after each having three children and a failed marriage. I was the kid that came AFTER the Brady Bunch!
My Mom worked in mental institutions and my Dad taught inmates how to become barbers in a max security prison (seriously). Needless to say, after work my parents didn’t want to deal with ME. I grew up with A.D.H.D. in a strict, suffocating, religious household to a ridiculous height (thanks, T.M.I. - that's "Three Mile Island", not "Too Much Information") and everything since has been well... Different. I should have been dead a couple of times, probably should have been arrested a bunch of times (more than I was). I’ve been through a lot of bullship, experienced a lot of personal strife and pain and also lost my best friend to a tragic, messy suicide/car accident in 1997 (that's a book in itself, too).
But I’ve also felt heaven here on Earth with the joy I’ve received through the years. I’ve lived it up more than most, for sure. And now I am a Stay at Home Dad with no income, a dwindling bank account, an awesome wife and two fantastically incredible and joyous kids. I wouldn’t wish my life on anyone, but I wouldn’t trade lives with very many people either!
Don’t do it the way I did, kids... I won’t deny I’ve been VERY blessed AND lucky. I don't deserve any of it, so it makes me have to be a big fan of GOD.
A lot of people call me "argumentative", "antagonistic" or “contrarian”, but I try to see the other side first and THEN I look for yet another side while everyone is still talking about the first side. There’s more than two sides of a coin; there’s also the edge! I call it the ‘knowl’. I try not to get constrained by the percieved duality of things.
But as a human I am an artist. I create in everything I do. Cooking, painting, tattoos, playing music, tending to my aquariums full of odd creatures (including "Carl Crawfish" the Blue Yabbie freshwater lobster), you should see my bonsai trees, weird plants and cacti collections! Even the way I fold my laundry is an art. And yes, I put my pants on with both legs at the same time.
Of course, I have something to say about everything so I talk a lot. And I'm a World-Class "topper". If I don’t have anything to add onto a subject, I’ll just make fun of it! My mind is ALWAYS creating. I physically cannot keep up with the mental production. On top of that, I have an unbending “need to know”. Whenever I question something it will eat at my brain like a giant power drill until I find an appropriate answer. I’ve always read tons of books (mostly reference material - almanacs and non-fiction, etc.) and have long written poetry, stories, prose even practiced writing screenplays. Me and my buddy were recording multi-tracked rap songs in 1987 using a Sesame Street turntable and two tape recorders.
I have VOLUMES of poetry from the 90’s. Somewhere around 1994, 1995 poetry wasn’t getting me laid anymore and no one was reading ‘em. I thought "what if I could make people listen to them?" After listening to Mazzy Star I realized, if they can do it I could do it too! So I got a guitar, learned how to play it and forcibly made songs out of my poetry and started recording again. And I got back into rapping, too. I have written and recorded over 200 songs of various genres (not including collaborations with other artists) since 1998 under my Beats By Man Productions label.
Or… you could blame it on me unplugging a lamp with my teeth when I was three. It made me “Electric Boy”!!! (and scarred my face giving me the superpowers of sarcasm and handsomery)
Come on, I could go on and on all day about what makes me unique. How many rapping, retired ex-stockbroker, Stay at home Dad, Ordained minister and severely underunderpaid sports journalists do you know?
Under all of it, I’m an (experi-)mentalist that tries to do something new each time. Same thing with all of my art. All of the creativity for writing, making music, painting, any form of expression; it comes from the same place – Just for me, it splashes around like an unmanned fire hose flipping about like a fish out of water having a seizure... with the flow of Niagara Falls.
I used to read the old beat journalists (Kerouac, Ginsberg) that inspired the “New Journalists” like Hunter S Thompson. Even though I disagree with a bunch of his opinions, I suspend my personal sway for the enjoyment of being in the story. I loved the way HST would DIVE into the story and tell the reader the story from inside it. That’s where I am a self-proclaimed "Gonzo Apostle". And he was also 6’6” like me.
But no matter how many trips I take to Loss Vegas, I’m not trying to be the next HST. Despite my affection for Dunhills and Chivas (and maybe the occasional jimsonweed cigarette or cup of Mormon tea), I am a MUCH safer driver than that maniac was and my expenses reports are very "way simpler".
I arrange words to describe what I experience. I might have to creaft a new wordimagogue to do it, but I likify stories that make you feel something. That’s why I don’t try to make insightful comments about shit I don’t know. There’s more ways to have fun in life than trying to fool people with bullshit… and that’s why I try to have fun in everything I do. I’m a screw off and smartass for a reason.
Most of all I live by one rule – Have fun.
- “There’s already too many serious moments in life!” – Manny Stiles
When you’re doing it right, the pen (or keyboard) is an extension of the soul.
Thanks, Beast! Say... When do I get to interview you?
I read this article and one person came to mind. Manny reminds me of one of my old cadets.
I'm a Packers fan first and foremost. For many reasons. Not the least of which is that they represent all that is good with sports (as I see it). After that, I root for teams and players that I have personal ties to.
BTW - Good interview.