Mariotti Plays Quincy M.D. When Bashing Chicago Marathon Officials
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Oh where to begin?
Residential know-it-all Jay Mariotti must have recently purchased a little black medical bag in order to appease the apparent burning desire to play pretend as Quincy, M.D.
Using time honored and traditional journalistic prowess and skill, Mariotti throughly investigated the heat plagued Chicago Marathon by allegedly sashaying in the Chicago downtown area while studiously monitoring his ever so hip iPhone(!) for the outdoor temperature. Evidently, this little bout of simple physical outdoor activity nearly caused Mariotti’s lungs to collapse and heart explode, if one were inclined to actually take his narration seriously.
Afterwards, Mariotti promptly went to the blogs to get first hand testimonials and eye witness accounts from the Internet Creatures. A Hollywood film writer couldn’t script a more graphic catastrophic post-battlefield scene than Mariotti’s recollection of the mournful wail of an ambulance siren juxtaposed with a vacated street littered with empty lifeless water cups. Oh the horror, the horror. One can only hope that Mariotti {cough, cough} mentally recovers from such a horrific experience of inhumanity and debauchery.
Seemingly satisfied with this stupendous effort (after all Mariotti did have an exciting rendez-vous with Ashton Kutcher and Justin Timberlake later that evening), the vertically challenged pundit scolds all associated with the marathon and then takes the hyperbolic leap with the outrageous suggestion that Chicago will consequently lose the 2016 Olympic bid.
While the lack of investigative depth demonstrated yet again by the back page tyrant is hardly shocking, it is admittedly somewhat astonishing how freely he chronicles his own laziness. And one can only help but ask why Mariotti himself chose not to stay on the scene to cover this growing development rather than travel to Green Bay?
Note that none of today’s soapbox preaching and homiletic grandstanding is over the tragic loss of Officer Chad Schieber’s life. Oh heck no. Why should one expect Mariotti follow an honorable moral compass and scribe about Scheiber participating in the marathon to raise money for diabetes research with the officer fully aware of his compromised heart condition?
Instead, the column is riddled with presumptions of guilt over innocence without any actual evidence, including denouncing a medical examiner’s report on the deceased. Mariotti M.D. doesn’t seem to need forensic scientific facts to render any sensible judgment when blessed with an apparent Ms. Cleo-ish clairvoyant supernatural ability.
Apparently, hyperventilating over an Olympic bid is far more important in the bigger picture sense to this columnist. Too bad for Mariotti that Olympic experts such as Ed Hula and Alan Abrahamson have already publically scoffed at this outlandish suggestion.
Equally troublesome is the gross distortion of information deliberately plotted out to build an argument alleging poor event planning, especially towards Carey Pinkowski, the race director. Mariotti decries that the marathon in its entirety should have been canceled. As always, it is so easy to reflect in hindsight and nestled ever so cozily in the bunker armchair. Not mentioned of course by the spouting blowhard are the following measures that were provided to the runners:
- Prior to the race, e-mails from the event community were sent to every registered participant. Warnings of the heat were issued.
- Over two hundred thousand extra cups of Gatorade and water were provided.
- CTA provided 20 additional air-conditioned buses for cooling purposes.
- CFD opened fire hydrants to provide heat relief.
- Additional sponges, ice and a sixteenth aid station were all provided ad hoc.
- Cancellation of the marathon after three and a half hours when it was evident that the battle against the heat could not be won.
And where were these facts obtained? From Mariottti's very own colleagues Jim Ritter and Lisa Donovan. Interesting rank of priorities displayed by the Sun-Times to sensationalize an ignorant fact deficient celeb-seeking hack over real hardworking ethical journalists, huh?
Wonders never cease. So it goes for Mariotti. And for us here at AngryOrange55 as well.
Tyrone Briggs has no other seeming purpose in life other than to rip Jay Mariotti.
To read more articles on Chicago Sports, please visit Jay the Joke and AngryOrange55.
Tyrone, what have I told you since day one? When you're focused, you're like a laser made of fire-hot razor blades sprinkled with hydrochloric acid, sprinkled with radioactive Cesium 234 and covered in killer bees that sting with gneen mamba venom and have rabies... etc.
Jess says "hi!"