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Madness in the LastRow

6
Vote

by user LastRow

Some people might be thinking this LastRow character must be “be pretty pissed at the world”…For he never writes a positive opinion on anything at all. Please excuse me, I didn’t know we were all still in third grade here. What should Miss Johnson do, put me in the corner and take my computer privileges away for the day for being bad? Perhaps she should move my desk next to hers so she can keep a better eye on me, and she can show me there’s a lot more positive outlook on sports than I see. But Miss Johnson, “I like to laugh…I’m not like all the other knuckleheads on here, I mean in this class who can’t see that.” Looks as if Miss Johnson needs to do some teaching on the word “sarcasm”.

Lets first start by defining the term “sarcasm” shall Wie, oh shit, the wrong usage of the word “we”. “Sarcasm” – A form of wit that is marked by the use of sarcastic language and is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule. “Is intended to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule,”…Wow, what ya know, I’ve been using “sarcasm” in its truest sense of the form all along. So Miss Johnson do I get an “A” for the day? What a relief, I was beginning to think I started to need some kind of counseling to better understand…Well, maybe I still do need counseling involving some aspects in my life, but that’s not the kind of Chatter for the LastRow? “You know Miss Johnson the letter “A” is the first letter in the word Asshole.”

Yeah, I rant about all the negative shit that’s goes on in sports, but from my definition of sarcasm, hopefully you knuckleheads understand why now? What’s the sense of reporting the “My Wish” kind of stories….No, I’m not knocking that, for I too have my own limitations outside the “LastRow”. I’m just saying we never get an opportunity to hear all the bad shit in sports get made fun of, except on the damn late night television shows during the monologues. Or if we do, they beat the horse until it’s dead…Hi T.O. The “professional” who gets paid for reporting sports don’t have the balls to spit their views honestly, for fear whether or not they’ll be reporting to work the next day, so they are those cute little puppets like ones we would see on Sesame Street. Everything has censorship, besides why report other peoples news anyway…Isn’t that right “Manny”? There’s no fun in that shit. Far be it from me to label myself as a “professional”…I’m just a disgruntled non-“professional” sports writer whose sitting in the LastRow because his university Communications program for lack of a better term sucked. Shit, I even make fun of myself up here, which by the way isn’t hard to do. I’m sure all my fans will agree & do continue to do so. Really now, if you can’t laugh why even exist? Momma should’ve swallowed us when she had the chance! Don’t we just love to pry fun at the athletes who F-UP & deserve it?

By the way “Manny” you spell 'to sense', “Two Cents”…Although certainly that’s nothing Miss Johnson shouldn’t have any problems working with you to correct this misusage of words. Might I recommend some after school help. Her one-on-one after school lesson really works wonders. All in all my goal is just simply to raise some eyebrows, create some chatter, integrate some “sarcasm”, create fans & enemies, and if now of these appeal to you liking the LastRow is always a great place to scratch your…Nobody will ever notice being this high up. So now that I’ve explained some of the madness that occurs in the LastRow, I encourage you in the near future to look for the “Apocolypse is coming” article due to all that is bad in pro sports. First I must concur with Miss Johnson to get a better understanding of “Apocolypse”…For I am Norm of Miss Johnson’s class.

IF NOTHING ELSE, LASTROWSPORTS.COM IS A GREAT PLACE FOR SPORTS FAN TO SCRATCH THEMSELVES...SO LET ALL THE SCRATCHING BEGIN


Date

Tue 07/18/06, 6:48 pm EST


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BarkingclamVarsity
1234 days ago
Score 1+-
What's all this then?
Permalink | Reply
ThecrookedcapAll-Star
1234 days ago
Score 1+-
If this is all supposed to be sarcasm, then you're not very good at writing it. That Wie article just sounded like sexist drivel to me.
Permalink | Reply
EroosterMajor Leaguer
1234 days ago
Score 1+-
I have no problems with your opinions, because they are afterall opinions. But, this site will never be considered a serious sports location as long as you use "foul" language. I am not opposed to the language, by nature. Nor, am I opposed to the language as a direct quote. But, you need to watch what you write because your language not only degrades your writing, but the writing of us all.
Permalink | Reply
All~In~ChicagoVarsity
1234 days ago
Score 2+-
Last Row - I know its the same posts from here, but I hope you dont mind me reposting my articles on your bLoG
Permalink | Reply
Sayhey-rodSoccer Kid
1233 days ago
Score 1+-
Fair enough, but it seems all you do is insert your rant of the day, be it TO, Wie, Soccer or whomever into your 'bash' template and let 'er rip. And just a note on sarcasm - if you use it all the time it tends to cloud the statements you are actually being serious about.
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1233 days ago
Score 0+-
my 'to sense' reference was absolutely intended... just as your sarcasm is randomly intended. Don't worry about haters (it makes you a hater as well), keep writing and let your work speak for you. Why complain about us, we're reading it aren't we?

I never thought of you as angry or pissed, go for it if it's your bag. I think of your submissions as somewhat incomplete and lacking substance. I think you get so excited stiking the keyboard you don't really get to any credible point, which is the goal of opinions. Anyone can rant. But if you're gonna rant in MY direction, rant with purpose!

Don't force-sell us on your hook (being in the last row) by repeating it over and over... Put us in the Last Row, where you speak from, otherwise you sound just like a jackass drunk, sitting in the Last Row screaming and shouting incoherently while we're trying to watch the freaking game. A game in which we didn't pay much for tickets. At least we don't have to tell you to "sit down!"

And Yes, I always sat in the back of the class in Mrs Johnson's class...whomever she may be.
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
1233 days ago
Score 0+-
thanks for for the free pub! +
Permalink
Captain SarcasticWaterboy
735 days ago
Score 0+-
I'm sorry, Miss Johnson
Permalink | Reply
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This page was last modified 23:54, 18 July 2006. Content is available under the GFDL.

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