MLS Week 26: Setting Like A Fine Jell*o

by user The Manly Ferry

So, Major League Soccer’s (MLS) Week 26 ended with big wins, losses, and at least one big disappointment. In terms of exposure to the general public, the only televised game - the game between DC United and Red Bull New York - wound up as a shoot-out; unfortunately, one with a final outcome too little in doubt, but a shootout with many goals and all that. I hear that’s what the kids like these days. Anyway, here are the results from across the league, including Wednesday’s game...

Wednesday, 09/20

New England Revolution 2 - 0 Red Bull New York

Saturday, 09/23

Columbus Crew 1 - 1 Houston Dynamo
DC United 4 - 3 Red Bull New York
New England Revolution 1 - 1 Kansas City Wizards
FC Dallas 2 - 1 Real Salt Lake
Chicago Fire 2 - 1 Los Angeles Galaxy
Chivas USA 1 - 0 Colorado Rapids

...and here’s what all that meant in the standings. Fortunately, Quick Kicks came through on the majority of the games - I can’t say enough about that service, really. Here's a link to Quick Kicks; just click on "Week 26 Highlights" and the rest is pretty self-explanatory.

One last note before doing the whole “up, down, hold” thing: because we’re now knocking on the post-season door, it seems fitting to view results through that lens. By that I mean all y’all should expect some harsh calls in down below. For instance, if a team headed to the playoffs isn’t playing play-off-caliber ball, it strikes me as fair to say so - and there are more of these than one might think.

With business now out of the way, let’s run through the teams, in the order in which they played, and see where they all stand after Week 26.

New England Revolution - UP: But this is only an “up” in the sense of, say, Botswana leading the world in economic growth - i.e. when one starts from nothing, any growth registers bigger than it ought. The problem for the Revs remains: they don’t look like a team poised for a deep playoff run. In more precise terms, these guys look like they’ll fall flat against most of the league’s teams in a first-round, two-game series. Their offensive stars are neither finding nor creating space in the offensive third, in spite of an entire season to get it right, their defense still gets stretched all over Hell - as they did when they conceded this weekend’s goal against Kansas City; just look at Jay Heaps’ positioning on Scott Sealy’s equalizing goal. They earn an up based solely on the fact that the combined results of Week 26 virtually guaranteed them a place in the post-season - and that’s better than things were last week.

Red Bull New York: DOWN, and too close to OUT for comfort: The only time two consecutive losses become fatal in MLS is when they come deep, deep in the regular season - and, in terms of the season, we’re right around the cloacae. Between them, these losses moved Red Bull out of the driver’s seat - and put Kansas City in it. It takes only a comparison between the two teams’ regular season stretch run to determine who has got the higher mountain to climb: Red Bull wraps up with - the Chicago Fire at home, the (playoff-hungry) Colorado Rapids away (where that team is much, much better), and with, yes, the Kansas City Wizards at home; Kansas City, for their part, wraps up with Real Salt Lake at home, Chivas USA at home and, obviously, Red Bull away. Long story short, I like KC’s chances better - pile the two-point advantage and Red Bull’s flaccid offense on top of it all and it’s not a far stretch to decide that Bruce Arena’s first, partial season in charge will go down as his second coaching let-down.

Columbus Crew - tough call, but HOLD: When one’s shot at post-season play enters the realm of, at best, theoretical mathematics one plays for pride. Columbus did that Saturday - and broke Houston’s heart in the process - but that doesn’t really mean much to them. Columbus is, effectively, the equivalent of a bunch of castaways in a lifeboat adrift right around the equator in the middle of the ocean: yeah, they caught a fish or two, but they’re still screwed.

Houston Dynamo - DOWN: Things just don’t get easier for these guys. The road ahead isn’t that hard - at least most games are at home and the one that isn’t (against Real Salt Lake) isn’t as hard as it could be - but this was certainly the easiest of their last four games...and they didn’t get the result. With the playoffs looming - and Houston a likely bet to be in them in spite of it all - dropping points to Columbus is the last thing they need. If they go anywhere in the playoffs, it almost has to be counted as a surprise.

DC United - HOLD: Yeah, they scored four...but they also gave up three - and against Red Bull, no less. What’s wrong with DC? Got me, but, this time at least, the suspensions could be the culprit. Still, I can't begin to guess what’s eating these guys; I only figure they should be pounding the crap out of light-weights like Red Bull and they’re not. They’ll make the playoffs, and comfortably at that, and it’s not unlikely that they’ll reach the final, though they’d home-field advantage to thank for it; the problem is that no one fears this team any more. They’ve lost all the psychological edge they’ve ever enjoyed. And in a one-off game, as the Eastern Conference semifinal will be, that could be enough to scuttle them.

Kansas City Wizards - HOLD, bordering on an UP: Getting points on the road is traditionally a good thing in soccer - and it would have been here had this game come earlier in the season. But with Kansas City needing points, points, and more points a draw leaves them in suspense for post-season play. Based on the Quick-Kicks reel, they gave as good as they got against what should be a hungry New England team. That’s a general positive heading into the post-season, should they make it - but not enough of one to call home about.

FC Dallas - UP, biggest "up" of the week: It’s not so much the clinching of a playoff position as it’s scoring two and holding on for the win. More to the point, with the Los Angeles Galaxy looking more and more like missing the post-season, FC Dallas loses their chief post-season bugbear and helps their hold on home-field advantage for the post-season. Dallas will never be mistaken for a great team - but does that apply to any MLS team this season? What’s more, check out what they’ve done this season against the hottest team in MLS: yep, they’ve beat the Chicago Fire in both their 2006 meetings; what could that mean if they wind up meeting again in MLS Cup? And it bears noting that will be played, again, in Dallas.

Real Salt Lake - DOWN: All one can say is that it’s a bitch reaching the point in the season where games Real Salt Lake (RSL) really shouldn’t expect to win are the ones they have to win. Don’t make the mistake of thinking FC Dallas wasn’t good for the win - judging by the highlight reel, they looked to be on RSL like a pair of tight-whiteys - but, whomever deserved it, RSL needed it. And they didn’t get it...that’s all there is to say. They just came across a river on the way to the Promised Land.

Chicago Fire - UP, dang: Look, this is just getting silly. Is there any team these guys can’t beat?

Los Angeles Galaxy - DOWN, good Lord, DOWN: For instance, these guys are a team Chicago could beat. If there’s a way back for LA - I mean apart from craven surrender from the Colorado Rapids and RSL - I’m not seeing it. Even with Colorado playing two of their three remaining games away, six points is a hell of a lot to pick up in six games. At least for this team, anyway. Unfortunately, I haven’t had the time to see the rot first-hand (no Quick Kicks, you see), so I can only guess at what happened to last year’s Champs...but suspect it has a lot to do with their problems getting goals.

Chivas USA - UP: With Chivas USA the likely torch-bearer for the city of Los Angeles in the post-season, what is left to say? The north-south exchange between Chivas and the Galaxy stands as one of the more intriguing tales of 2006. Bob Bradley is looking good for Coach of the Year, while few would be surprised to see Chivas go deep in the playoffs - after all, they won their season series against FC Dallas; the results against Real Salt Lake aren’t in yet - they wrap up the regular season against them. And they lost to Houston, but that was back when they were good. Anyway, good for Chivas.

Colorado Rapids - DOWN: What’s left to say about Colorado? They’re entirely consistent in their inconsistency. I wouldn’t be surprised if they made the post-season; I wouldn’t be surprised if they missed the post-season. But with the post-season looming, that inconsistency doesn’t bode well.

That’s all. Any guesses as to who suffered the “big disappointment?” I’ve got actually two teams in mind - and both of them were in last season’s final.

Date

Mon 09/25/06, 7:37 am EST