MICHAEL VICK ASKED TO HELP IN BRADY MURDER
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by Jamel
Dec 11, 2007
You heard here first.
Allegedly the FBI has gone to Michael Vick, once superstar QB of the Atlanta Falcons and recenlty charged with bankrolling and dog fighting, to help out in the Tom Brady masacar. If that wasn't "crazy" enough the FBI has asked Jay F Mariotti, columnist* for the Chicago Sun-Times, star* of Around the Horn on ESPN, to lead the investigation.
(Michael Vick above)
Jay F Mariotti responded by saying "I will do my best. I've been through a lot and I know how the Brady family must be feeling. That Tuesday night in St. Louis, June 22, 2006, I did in fact die. I was called a "fag", That's worse than being murdered with a goat while sleeping in bed. Plus Geno had a heart attack after. For this reason alone I want to help Tom Brady and his family and put his murderer behind bars."
Yesterday Michael Vick was placed to neighboring cells to Steve-Anne Smith, beat reporter for the Philadelphia Inquirer, and just yesterday arrested at his home behind a dumpster at a local Philadelphia school covered in Tom Brady's blood. It is thought by the FBI that Jay F Mariotti, once long time lover to Steve-Anne Smith, will be able to get vital information from Vick and Smith to get the necessary answers to why Brett Favre, QB of the Green Bay Packers, and Tony "the Homo" Romo, QB of the Dallas Cowboys, decided to murder Brady with a brick of cheese in the shape of a "limp dick" ploted by Peyton Manning, QB of the Indianapolis Colts who said Ben Roesthlisberger came up with the idea.
Jay F Mariotti was also targeted by the FBI to help for two other reasons: 1. for his outstanding Ligasor award winnning column* just published yesterday "WHAT'S NEXT FOOTBALL FANS- SHAME ON EVERYONE" and 2. last year Jay was linked to, and allegedly sentenced to 6 months in jail, for organized "cock fights" held in his bunker in a north suburb of Chicago in Vernon Hills. Mariotti's knowledge in organized cock fights, "the big black cocks were the best"- quoted by Mariotti, plus his love relationship with Steve-Anne Smith, with Steve being in the cell next to Michael Vick, who was a QB and also participated in dog fights, all link the men to help solve the QB killing.
(photo used to convict Jay F Mariotti of his organized cock fights in his bunker. Mr Mariotti is seen in this photo as the one smoking the "pipe")
"It all makes sense. Perfect sense. It's really a no brainer. With all these connections we had to use Jay F Mariotti. His connection with Mr Smith and cocks and being called a "fag", it's perfect" said leading FBI agent, who goes only by B3.
Jay F Mariotti will spend the today interviewing both Michael Vick and Steve-Anne Smith and will release all information to the FBI and to exclusively Jam-Jam productions tomorrow.
Lasty, yesterday morning Brett Favre, Tony "the Homo" Romo, and Peyton Manning where brought back to a local detention center in Boise, Idaho, on completion of their football games. A judge released the men in order to play as "football is more important in American society than murder- especially when that murder is of Tom Brady"-- allegedly quoted by that judge.
On a side note, Randy Moss was asked for his opinion on this matter and politely said:
"Glad Tom is dead. Now I'll get mine. Stupid white boy gets all my credit. I'm the god damn MVP of this mother-fackin league. Peace out."
That's all the information for now. More to come.
You heard here first.
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