Luxury of Corporate America

The joys of going to see a live sporting event, what can be more gratifying? Work your ass off the whole week, now it’s time for you and the fellas to hit the open road to begin a “Guys Weekend”. Why this ranks right up there with sex, and likely surpasses bad sex. Yep, just you and the boys…Best way to describe it is a MasterCard commercial, PRICELESS. Speaking of which, that MasterCard will likely be stretched to the max after the weekend, so one can expect to experience physical activity for a while. So it’s best to really enjoy your weekend away from the ball & chain.

Upon returning home from the weekend excursion which had you hanging out with the locals and/or mutual fans, enjoying the quality time with all genders as you do who knows what & with who knows who, you realize one thing. You, for whatever reason are so glad to get back to reality, the reason being, simply because the body can’t recover like it used to be able to. Once entering Su Casa you get bitch slapped with a big dose of reality…Let the questions begin. A game of 50 questions starts even before you can take your shoes off. How much was gas, How much food did you eat, You better not ran up the bar tab, I think you get the picture…. What’s all this shit? Apparenty, she has desires of becoming an author, her first book is about “Guys Weekend”…Lucky you. Thanks Oprah.

In this game of 50 questions, you proceed to say you saved a bunch of money by sitting in the LastRow rather than a “luxury box”…Comparable to a GEICO Commercial. What’s up with these things anyway…I know in Corporate America these things work wonders. A big corporation slaps down millions so the club level can be sponsored by Toyota. Hey, let’s sit in the Camry suite, or we’ve been invited to watch a game from the Sequoia Box. While we all know the concept behind this, since the profit in sports comes by selling luxury boxes to expense accounts and swells. I’ve always wanted to know why even go to see a game in person if your going to do this?

We generally find plush, sumptuous, lavish condominium accommodations…The booze, the food, the service, the private, uh, powder rooms. Um, isn’t this the concept of watching the game in front of your own personal, private boob tube, sitting on your ass on the couch at the crib? The better concept here is at home, it’s all free…No need to have to pay any estate tax. The jackasses who do this sort of shit aren’t really “true” sports fans…What kind of “true” fan wears an Armani Suit to a game? Guess these little school girls can’t take the freezing cold of a football game…To you I say “Grow some freaking ONIONS!” Picture these kind of people using our public bathroom, do they even know ho to? See ticket holders of the LastRow can just simply turn around & write their name on the wall as they release their bodily fluids without missing any action….Now that’s freaking LUXURY! I can just see these SOB’s trying to even get up to the LastRow…Have the stadium Red Cross unit on stand by. This also holds true for the owner as well…sitting there acting like he knows what the hell is going on. You really think Bob Kraft really understands the concept of a COVER TWO defense?

Whatever your opinion is of Mark Cuban, you have to applaud his “realness”. This T-Shirt & Jeans kind of owner likes spitting the truth about anything & everything…While some of his antics may be a little extreme, there’s nothing fake here. Perhaps, this is the one case in sports where a person doesn’t pretend…Just too bad the NBA & David Stern would like him to. You GO CUBES!

Another kudos must be given to the University of Michigan & its “Big House” for trying to hold on to the integrity of watching games live, in person. Many alumni and professors of the University of Michigan are vigorously trying to persuade the Board of Regents not to approve the plans of the university president and athletic director to spend something like a quarter of a billion dollars to build 78 suites that would rent for up to $85,000 apiece for a mere seven college football games. I never thought a Notre Dame fan would be saying this about the Wolverines, but GO BLUE!!

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