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Lou Holtz is insane

16
Vote

by Suckatsports

Every single time a major college sports season starts rolling around, ESPN digs people out of their graves to cover it. Old men, who are out of touch with reality, and are clinically insane are called upon to appeal to the masses loving college athletics - usually college kids. While these men were once absolutely mediocre coaches, their voices do not at all resound in the current culture, so they have to fall back on stupid tricks and annoying cliches to get attention. I've already expressed my views on the worthless advice of Dick Vitale, and now Lou Holtz is in my cross hairs.

College Gameday was on today, and since I'd already masturbated once, it was time to see what other people thought of college teams. I enjoy the varying amount of opinions on the show, in fact, it gives me something to disagree with. But today's edition took the cake, because Lou Holtz is out of touch with reality.

First of all, everyone on that set is insane because none of the four panelists picked UM to win the Big 10 - there were two votes for Penn State, one for Wisconson, and one for Iowa. Iowa! Why are all of them ranking UM so high if they don't even have them winning the conference? And guess who picked Iowa, the old crotchety, and dehydrated Lou Holtz. No matter that they lose their quarterback, and now their best wide receiver is suspended, by golly they're the best team in the Big 10.

Luckily that was only the cherry on top, the real body of his insanity laid in his yearly prediction of Notre Dame's greatness. It's not enough that they're the most overrated program in the country, they now possess their only part of College Gameday. Everyone else suggested what we already knew, that ND isn't going to be very good tis year, but luckily Lou Holtz is on the beat. He predicted 10, ten wins for Notre Dame this year. That's right, the team who lost their all everything running back, wide receiver and QB and playing, for a change, a tough opening four games is going to romp through their schedule. And don't forget the yearly beat down that they give USC.

Time to bring in some one new, someone fresh, and someone that's younger than 80.

Two Iowa players suspended for Credit Card fraud [SI.com] '

Like what you read? This post is cross-published from We Suck at Sports.


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ChristofMVP
828 days ago
Score 2+-
Lou Holtz was insane two decades ago at Notre Dame. You think time would make this problem better?
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SuckatsportsVarsity
828 days ago
Score 2+-
Well, I thought that it would keep him out of national television at least.
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MegECass110AAA-er
827 days ago
Score 3+-
Lou Holtz drives me up the frickin the wall. You know what he said the other day (I'm not directly quoting, but it was damn close)? They were discussing the Ohio State-at-Penn State game, and Holtz boldly predicted that Penn State would win, because their fans play a big role in how Penn State plays, and shockingly, Penn State plays better at home than on the road, and I'm pretty sure he said something along these lines "some teams are better at home." I nominate Joe Morgan, Tim McCarver and Holtz as the inaugural members of the No Shit, Sherlock Hall of Fame.
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JuTMSY4Legend
827 days ago
Score 0+-
Leathery Face, classic Lisp, master of the obvious...and yet still better than Lee Corso...hmmmmm
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Dominator528JV Squad
827 days ago
Score 4+-
If you put Lee Corso and Lou Holtz on the same bill and offer me the choice to watch that or Rosie ODonnely poll dancing in a thong - I would have to tell you to give me a stack of $1s and the Jergens - I'm goin hoggin.
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JuTMSY4Legend
827 days ago
Score 1+-
seriously, its ashame you posted that on a saturday...that's hilarious...
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Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
827 days ago
Score 3+-
Nah, just let Holtz strip and O'Donnell offer "expert advise" concerning college football on ESPN. Couldn't be any worse on either option, right??
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Dominator528JV Squad
827 days ago
Score 1+-
Rosie would deem football too violent and insist on an immediate pull out of all "combatants" to be completed before the end of the third quarter. Rosie would be confronted and told that this could not be a good option because the game would not be over yet and we would lose. Rosie would respond "yeah but it would make me feel good and I'm smarter than all of you".
Permalink
LASportsblogAAA-er
827 days ago
Score 2+-
That was just 1 step to far, did you have to include the Jergens? Can't you masterbate to sports pundits making dumb predictions and talking out of their ass like the rest of us?
Permalink
Dominator528JV Squad
827 days ago
Score 1+-
Sorry, but that is why I need lubricant
Permalink
MegECass110AAA-er
827 days ago
Score 1+-
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
Permalink
SuckatsportsVarsity
827 days ago
Score 1+-
A man's gotta do, what a man's gotta do.
Permalink
LASportsblogAAA-er
827 days ago
Score 2+-
"College Gameday was on today, and since I'd already masturbated once, it was time to see what other people thought of college teams" I sometimes feel the same about the EPL Review Show sunday nights, and occasionally Fox Football Fone-IN
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Dominator528JV Squad
827 days ago
Score 1+-
There is a word in that last comment that reminds me of my favorite ESPN reporter - Rachel Nichols. You will have to guess which word....
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Davis21wylieMVP
827 days ago
Score 1+-
Come on, she's not even the hottest Rachel Nichols out there!
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
827 days ago
Score 1+-
sorry dominator...you just got topped...
Permalink
Dominator528JV Squad
827 days ago
Score 1+-
If ESPN's Rachel Nichols would pose like that - I would beg to differ. Oh who am I kidding I would just plain beg
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WizardmanRed-Shirting
827 days ago
Score 1+-
Iowa last year: 6-7, 2-6 Big Ten. Uh, yeah. So, either Lou Holtz knows something about the freshmen we don't, or he's senile. Probly the latter.
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SuckatsportsVarsity
827 days ago
Score 1+-
Definitely the latter. I'm not sure why he doesn't have ND play Iowa for the national championship.
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Dominator528JV Squad
827 days ago
Score 0+-
He probably would not go that far because after his 11 years here I am sure he knows that some of us have a little sense and that is just plain (as my favorite personality on the Food Network would say) out of bounds.
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TyduffyRed-Shirting
827 days ago
Score 0+-
A Rosie O'Donnell joke...that was original. How about a Lindsay Lohan joke as well? Maybe a Michael Jackson one for good measure?
Permalink | Reply
Dominator528JV Squad
827 days ago
Score 0+-
Rosie O'Donnell was not who I pictured in my mind when thinking of that joke. I could not use that woman in the joke because I was not sure how to spell (insert user of choice)'s mom's name.
Permalink
Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
827 days ago
Score 0+-
Or better, let's bash a few black people for "defending" Michael Vick? There haven't been enough articles on that topic here lately, have there?
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RynoWaterboy
827 days ago
Score -1+-
Coach Holth ith my favorite
Permalink | Reply
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