Why the Patriots Suck So Much. (A.K.A - The Cynical Sports Fans Guide to Explaining the Hellacious Sucktitude that IS the New England Patriots)

JuT, you are totally right. The Patriots DO suck! Absolutely!

Yes, SpyGate and going to war on false pretenses are very similar.

so the parallel isn't the same

Well, Bush didn't lie about WMDs just once, it was numerous times. And the consequences are completely different. The consequence of Bush's lying was going to war, changing the government of another country, and thousands of people dying. The consequences of the Patriots cheating was the potential for an unfair advantage. Yeah, I'd say Bush lying about WMDs and SpyGate are just a bit different. Not much, but just a bit.

sounds like sour grapes...

so one had a worse outcome, what's your point?

saying something wasn't that bad is stupid because it doesn't add up...

moreover, bush lied about it once...then just repeated it over and over...sorta like the pats since...i dunno...2000?

It's a piss poor analogy. And not because one "turned out worse" than the other. Because Bush's lying was an effort to go to WAR. War=death. The Patriots were trying to win football games.

your just made cause your team cheated and the record will always be tainted

didn't i say this like 3 months ago?

want another anology? Clemens and Pettite only took steroids a few times...i mean, is that so bad...

what about AK-47 being allowed to cheat on his wife..once a year...

its only a little right?

Great Point! You did leave a lot there hanging for me to rip on but I'll just commend you on your timely Bill Clinton referencing!!! Welcome to 2008, where the Patriots SUCK!!!

No one rides rougher than a Saskatchewan Roughrider!!!

you mean 76...

I don't like the Giants either, so I just gotta say what's needing to be said. The Pats are lucky at best - the kind-of-Luck-that-Derek-Jeter-envies Luck. Best 18-1 team in history kind of luck.

Can I call you "Tiki Briggs" from now on?

Only if I can return the favor by calling you Manny Shockey.

A minus troll? Oh no....

Gawddamn that Tyrone Briggs.

FYI - I plussed Manny's dig. {cue the Napoleon kid posting the Briggs Troll sign}

Ehhh, "the demon" is a better name for a tough guy like you anyway...

I noticed that the demon did get blamed for a few minus attacks yesterday. That must have been some type of telepathic negative energy or something considering I was hardly even on the Internet all weekend.

I picture you more of a Minus Fairy. Prancing and frolicking about sprinkling your minus dust on people's free and original thoughts because of your blatent jealousy of their free minds and original concepts.

FIGHT!!! FIGHT!!!! FIGHT!!

Okay, I see where this is headed so I must end this little conversation with you right now. Happy MLK day.

Sorry SSR, I am not going to fight. Not today anyways.

Way to be the "bigger man". Bravo Tiki!

I only have 2200 sq feet. But those terms are acceptable by me!

???

In reference to the posting

Your avatar changed...

Damn, Tyrone - with your powers of perception, you should be out stopping the crime of evil masterminds and curing cancer in children and puppies!

What's your definition of the word 'perfect'??? If the games don't count WHY do they keep score?

because they are games. The preseason is only important if you don't already have a spot on a team's roster

He was counting the way New Yorkers do.

You got D's, muthafucka, D's

Apparently we're WAAAAAY past the cutoff for credential requests. I only wanted to go to media/photo day. I still might just go anyway and hang out to see what goes on outside a lame 4,000 person media circus... I gotta have my own angle, you know?

You just go for the free food anyway.

If it's anything like food at Chase field, NO THANKS! Even the AFL put agood 7-8 lbs on me but the D-Backs catering sucks! Yeech! Friday's Front Row is a regular pre-Suns game hangout of the Stiles clan though!

Kurt Warner's wife is more intimidating than he is.

Vince Wilfork is too fat, Josh McDaniels is too young, Tedy Bruschi had a stroke, Reche Caldwell used to play for them and he has bug eyes, Laurence Maroney has dreadlocks, Junior Seau had to break out of the nursing home... damn, I'm starting to hate the Patriots myself.

'Tom Brady is a overrated system QB'

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

That's classic. I mean, I know he's not the most popular guy in the world -- but a product of the system? That's good... I actually laughed out loud.

are all quarterbacks... well, system quarterbacks? we always hear that "he needs to learn the system"; thats why you cant just throw any QB on the field that has never played with a team before

Un-Patriotic people don't like to hear logic, Falcon.

patriotism:

I was referring to Patriotism, not patriotism ;-)

Let's try this one:

Somewhere, Ron Hassey weeps.

And Eric Crouch was named the best player in college football once. How'd his NFL career work out? Any argument about Tom Brady's quality that involves his abilities as a college QB holds little weight. Especially when you look at how hit or miss great college QBs are in the NFL.

Rawbee - 1 Cornfed - 0

It was a crack at the Rams.

Just like being a good QB in college does not equate to success in the NFL. Do you honestly think that Drew Henson is better than Tom Brady?

Besides he is an Arizona Cardinal now anyway.

Oops, now I'll have to come up with something on the Jaguars. How about this? Patriots 31, Jaguars 20.

Ugh.

Don't change the subject. I liked the other one better.

The Broncos have won the Super Bowl a lot more recently than the Jaguars have.

What have you done for me lately? The Broncos were in the AFC Championship game two years ago while the Jaguars watched on television.

Jacksonville: not in the Super Bowl

Denver: not in the Super Bowl

end of story

And I'm glad to be a Patriots fan right now.

well, your user info lists the broncos first, the vikings as the next football team and the pats third...

so you're glad to be a "pats fan" right now?

see rawb...this is what i'm talking about...

Is there something wrong with that?

i don't think you could replace brady on the pats and get close to the same results... maybe say he's a system QB (Maybe)...but (as you've seen) take brady from the pats or the (current) pats team from brady and its not even close

althought...if you look at the 98 vikings, they had moss (moss) and carter (welker...give or take) and that team fared pretty well...(15-1), but got caught by another team... hmmm...parallels?! hahaa

well...they brough in cassel a few times....and he threw a pick and so on.... on top of that, I also meant the converse, which was a brady team without the current pats...(ie no good receivers)...whihc lead to 12-4 and a loss in the playoffs...

Joe Montana was also a system QB, since he played in the West Coast offense. And Joe Montana was unspectacular enough in college to be drafted in the third round.

playing in an offense that has a name (i.e. is a system) doesn't mean you are a system QB besides, montana was better than elway ; - ) (who's a giant douche)

I was merely showing that a "system QB" can still be great. And John Elway was better than Joe Montana and every other QB in history.

including terry bradshaw who has more rings...or Montana...who also has more rings...or Marino who has more records...or Unitas who has more rings...or Starr who has more rings...or Stabler who has the same amount of rings...i could go on John elway, is in no way, the greatest QB ever...

John Elway led three mediocre (at best) teams to the Super Bowl. No other quarterback has done that. Take Elway's six AFC Championship games (five victories), best winning pct. in NFL history, and 47 fourth-quarter comeback drives, and yes, he is the best quarterback of all time.

so...that just means brady is even better...

You'd want him to play on your team, right?

Hahaha. Right.

How was Elway unlikable?

He did have a shot at a career in baseball. He was a good defensive player and a decent hitter. And what's the problem with demanding to be traded?

Not an Elway fan. However, I have leaned to forgive him for refusing to go to the Colts. That team was a train wreck. Check the link. http://www.f...p-zone/5217/

On what basis do you think I'm kidding myself? And he had a right to play for whoever he wanted to. Do you also dislike Eli Manning?

He would have been Drew Henson before Drew Henson.

And Drew Henson's better than Tom Brady. So there ya go.

and Todd Helton is better than Payton Manning, weird huh?

you're very proud to have him as a denver bronco?

but you're glad to be a pats fan...

i'm getting mixed signals

It's cause my buddy nappy is Skip Jr.

Is there something peculiar about being a fan of three different teams? When they play each other, I root for whichever one I like more. When they don't, I root for all of them. I love the Broncos, the Vikings, and the Patriots, in that order.

And to whoever keeps minusing me for no particular reason, take this:

I will wear my fanship proudly.

i didn't minus you until you said so ; - )

and it wasn't for not particular reason"

your fanship is ridiculous...where's the vikings box?

Like this better?

Complaining about minuses is also a good way to get minused.

Looks like I'll have to create an Adrian Peterson fanbox.

I wasn't complaining, I was just wondering what it was for.

My motto has always been, give me a reason...any reason for a minus Rawb, at least when you minus you have something to say about it...moreover, when i minus someone, I try to give them a reason...i thought i explained it...guess not...

You did explain yours. The other two anonymous users didn't.

The minuses are warranted Nap, make up your mind why don't you? Broncos, Pats and Vikings? You must be alot of fun at parties.

So let me guesss... how ever is winning... that is who you root for? Would you be a Patriots fan if they weren't this good? or what if Adrian Peterson was not carrying the Vikings... its ok for you to like a bunch of teams, but you can only be a true fan of one team per sport...

I root for all of them, win or lose. I am a Broncos fan first and foremost, but I've been a Vikings fan almost as long. I started liking the Patriots more recently, in 2003 or somewhere in there. I admired Bill Belichick's coaching and Tom Brady's poise, so I became a Patriots fan.

Oh, and their selfless team spirit. I like the Detroit Pistons for the same reason.

Take 3:

This user is a New England Patriots fan.

This user is a Tennessee Titans fan. (Really because I like VY)

This user is a Minnesota Vikings fan. They're my hometown team, I still root for them, I just don't feel passionate about them.

its just odd...no one else really does it...

i mean, i like certain stars through out the league, but i bleed green through and through, it'd just be weird to follow another team like i do them...

to give you an example, Marshall faulk, especially in his indy days, was one of my favs...and i sorta like the colts...but not really...i.e. when the won the SB, i was happy for them...

I still follow the Broncos more than any other team. I'd root for them against the Patriots, even if the Pats' undefeated season was on the line.

I think it's when you call yourself a fan of all these teams. For most of us, we're fans of one team. That is our team. That becomes "we." After them, we may like other teams (I like the Red Wings, and any team Pedro Martinez is on).

And JuT, this may disturb you, but I like BU and BC hockey THE SAME. When they play each other, I could care less about who wins. And let's say Maine or UNH are in the Frozen Four, I root for them just as much as if it were BU or BC. And I like Harvard and Cornell, too. And these teams all hate each other. Then again, I don't like any of these teams enough to call them "we."

Nap, I think what rubs people the wrong way is that you present yourself as a true blue Patriots fan. And people, rightfully so, wonder how could that be possible if you're also a die-hard Broncos fan. I just don't think you can be a serious fan of multiple teams. Even if you hold one above the other, the way you present yourself makes it seem as though the Pats and Broncos are on the same strata in your fandom. I just don't think that works.

Maybe so, but I really do love the Patriots, just not as much as the Broncos. The loss to Indianapolis last year was one of my worst sports moments.

When you say "I love the Patriots" I can't believe you. Are you a Mormon by any chance?

Polygamy's illegal. Rooting for more than one sports team isn't.

I feel the same way:

Template:New England Patriots fan
Template:Tennessee Titans fan (Really because I like VY)

Template:Minnesota Vikings fan They're my hometown team, I still root for them, I just don't feel passionate about them.

Take 2: Template:Tennessee Titans fan (Really because I like VY) Template:Minnesota Vikings fan They're my hometown team, I still root for them, I just don't feel passionate about them.

BU and BC? Blastphemy...

Then stop rooting for the Lakers AND the Clippers, LA. Make up your mind. Have you ever heard of a Mets AND Yankees fan?

I'm not a Clipper fan nor have I ever claimed to be one - don't be a douche. Moreover, I haven't heard of a Mets and Yankees fan, that sounds like one conflicted son of a bitch. Extremes of winning and losing. Anyway, I cover the Clippers, but just cause I write articles doesn't mean I'm a fan. Get your stuff straight before you come after me Skip Jr.

I was referring to the fact that you're part of their network. In fact, you have them listed as #3. All the team networks I'm part of are teams I root for.

I'm pretty sure USC football and basketball are on there too, but I'm surely not a fan of that school. I just have all the teams I cover on the network, that way when I write something about them and have a thought to put down, it goes to the right network. I'm a writer first, fan second.

Also, you want to know about fandom, real fandom - I was born into the Raider Nation, dressed in infant Raider clothes, same with the Lakers. I became a Dodger fan in '96 as a 10 year old and have watched 11 years of crap while the Giants, Padres, Rockies, Angels, Yankees and Diamondbacks have all made World Series (Angels, Yankees and D'Backs winners) while I sat in Chavez Ravine dreaming of next spring. I sat in Pauly Pavillion during the Steve Lavin days and have watched Pete Carroll make UCLA look like a mid major.

So keep jumping to the next popular team because your bandwagon happiness will never amount to the joy I'll get when UCLA wins March Madness again or the Raiders or Dodgers finally win a championship in my lifetime, you'll never know the joy through agony - and I pity you for robbing yourself of the experience.

I have always been a Bronco fan, and I will always be a Bronco fan. The Patriots never have been and never will be my favorite team. I also like the Colorado Buffaloes. So don't be claiming that you know about agony and I don't. My very favorite teams always stay the same, no matter what. From time to time, though, I add other teams that I consider likable. For instance, the Pistons and the Patriots.

Being a fan of teams you "like" from time to time, by definition is being a Bandwagoner

I've always kinda liked the Patriots, I just haven't been a fan until recently. Part of the reason (not all of it) that I am now a fan is that I hate the Colts (because I'm a Bronco fan), and enjoy it when the Patriots beat them.

actually, i did...

Yes, but you didn't complain about it.

how explicit does someone have to be... 2 or 3 teams...doesn't matter...