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Why Hockey is a GARBAGE SPORT, and Why NASCAR and Golf are Top Notch

Posted by SSreporters
747 days ago

by SSreporters

Yes, I'm back a day early for 1 reason, being that Seattle is getting wacky weather this weekend, we've got snow today, a windstorm tomorrow, and more wind and rain on Monday. So I'll try to get everything I need to write about today, before the possibility of a power outage.

The following is a parody article about some stupid hockey hobby thing from Thursday featuring Barron (or was it Roc?).

<parody>(Robarroc) Hockey is the EASIEST sport in the world. As long as you can stay upright on skates, and handle a big stick, you're a hockey player. There is NO athleticism involved, and America's sports intelligence is higher than this garbage. I can take a 17 year old obese kid, get him some skates, BAM!! He's a hockey player, it's too easy. What do they do? They don't do much, they just wait and wait, there is NO strategy whatsoever. Now, want to talk REAL athletes and sports?

Golf is one of the most DIFFICULT sports to PLAY. Too hit a still ball on a tee with a stick requires a LOT of athleticism. Unlike hockey, you strategically figure out which club you will use, then, you aim, and fire. Guys like John Daly and Jack Nicklaus have to be VERY fit to PLAY a SPORT like this. You've got to have a lot of endurance to play this game, you have people driving you, which is a VERY athletic thing to do. But GOLF is not NEARLY as athletic as the next sport, NASCAR!

You better believe how difficult it is to drive around in an oval for 5 1/2 hours at 170 miles an hour. These pussy players in the NHL are NOTHING compared to these superstars. Sure, you maybe on your ass for 500 laps in a car, but it's still an athletic sport. I am a firm believer that you cannot have a 18 year old person, put him in a car, and force him to drive all that time, it's very strategic, these guys do a lot!

That's my rant, I'm smarter than you by the way.</parody>


Enable Comment Auto-Refresher
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
747 days ago
Score 7+-
I wonder what makes liquid drano taste better... amaretto? or grenadine?
Permalink | Reply
Oh No RomoDraft Pick
747 days ago
Score 5+-
"Sure it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow on the inside"
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
746 days ago
Score 0+-
Turns out chlorine bleach is better than grenadine and amaretto (even combined!) - smells WAY better too!
Permalink
SSreportersLegend
747 days ago
Score 3+-
Thanks I am a CPCP.
Permalink | Reply
RawbeezeitzMajor Leaguer
747 days ago
Score 2+-
How come an attack on hockey is countered with an attack on NASCAR? It seems as though these two sports are unrelated. If someone criticised curling, would the counter argument have something to do with beach volleyball?
Permalink | Reply
Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
747 days ago
Score 2+-
You did take notice to the author's use of <parody>?
Permalink
KelsdadAll-Star
747 days ago
Score 2+-
Its sarcasm, Rawbie. Hockey players are athletes, while golfers and race car drivers are not. Get it now?
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
747 days ago
Score 1+-
"All I wanna do is race daddy"
Permalink
FrankDDiv-I Stud
747 days ago
Score 2+-
If you're not first you're last.
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
746 days ago
Score 0+-
You better watch out for the Geico racing kid at the Supermarket.
Permalink | Reply
Add your Comment
ArmchairGM welcomes all comments. If you don't want to be anonymous, Register or Login. It's free


Enable Comment Auto-Refresher
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
747 days ago
Score 7+-
I wonder what makes liquid drano taste better... amaretto? or grenadine?
Permalink | Reply
Oh No RomoDraft Pick
747 days ago
Score 5+-
"Sure it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow on the inside"
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
746 days ago
Score 0+-
Turns out chlorine bleach is better than grenadine and amaretto (even combined!) - smells WAY better too!
Permalink
SSreportersLegend
747 days ago
Score 3+-
Thanks I am a CPCP.
Permalink | Reply
RawbeezeitzMajor Leaguer
747 days ago
Score 2+-
How come an attack on hockey is countered with an attack on NASCAR? It seems as though these two sports are unrelated. If someone criticised curling, would the counter argument have something to do with beach volleyball?
Permalink | Reply
Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
747 days ago
Score 2+-
You did take notice to the author's use of <parody>?
Permalink
KelsdadAll-Star
747 days ago
Score 2+-
Its sarcasm, Rawbie. Hockey players are athletes, while golfers and race car drivers are not. Get it now?
Permalink
JuTMSY4Legend
747 days ago
Score 1+-
"All I wanna do is race daddy"
Permalink
FrankDDiv-I Stud
747 days ago
Score 2+-
If you're not first you're last.
Permalink
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
746 days ago
Score 0+-
You better watch out for the Geico racing kid at the Supermarket.
Permalink | Reply
Add your Comment
ArmchairGM welcomes all comments. If you don't want to be anonymous, Register or Login. It's free

Categories: Lockerroom | Lockerroom by User SSreporters | December 1, 2007 | December 2007 | NHL lockerroom | NASCAR lockerroom | Golf lockerroom

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