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Dear Troy Aikman,

Posted by The Pip
776 days ago


Who the hell said you could be a part of Red Sox Nation? We are opposed to the two things you most represent: Southern California and Texas. We are the hearty cold weather types, not the sun fried imbeciles that thrive in both of your "hometowns". Although we have members in both places we understand that they have our thick blood, our inner character and the desire to drive like they own the road. You also represent a team, and a dynasty that stood for things we do not stand for in the nation: arrogance. Hear me out, for we are becoming yankee-esque in our ways, but it is different than you and the cowboys. We don't need to leave a whole in our domes so God can watch us play, we just play outside in the cold. We don't deal with over rated running backs or coke-head wideouts, we don't deal with over hairgelled coaches and loudmouth crybaby owners. We just play the game. Sure we talk, and talk, and talk, but it's honest. Our fandom is brutal and harsh, both on the fans and the players. Had you played for the Patriots you would not have lasted, never mind had you been a pitcher for the red sox. Se we don't tolerate athletes like you, they tend to get eaten alive buy our media, and we kind of like it that way. It goes back to the "heartiness" trait I spoke about earlier.

So please leave your red sox gear at gate c, and we'll make sure it goes to a nice shelter, and go back to being a bad broadcaster.

- Sincerely, Red Sox Nation Representative from Framingham, Pip

PS- How many of these goddamn bandwagoneers am I going to have to excommunicate?!?!? Seriously, you must be at least as cool as Ben Afflec to be a celebrity red sox fan! That's not asking much, but it is proving a difficult task regardless.



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BlueCarpVarsity Captain
775 days ago
Score 1+-
Amen.
Permalink | Reply
The PipDiv-I Stud
775 days ago
Score 1+-
God, I hate to see what ugly celebrity bandwagoneer shows up tonight!
Permalink
Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
775 days ago
Score 1+-
The Ben Asslick Nation is growing stronger....
Permalink | Reply
BOMBERSDiv-I Stud
775 days ago
Score 5+-
Don't get me wrong, I am not a Red Sox fan nor do I want to become one, but do you guys have an application on who gets to be a fan and who does not?
Permalink | Reply
TylersaltAll-Star
775 days ago
Score 4+-
Well, you don't know that he hasn't been a Sox fan for a long time, and therefore not a bandwagoner.
Permalink | Reply
The PipDiv-I Stud
772 days ago
Score 0+-
Yes,it has a few questions:

1) are you now or have you ever lived in or near Boston> a) Can you or they pronounce the following words: Worcester, Peabody, Woburn 2) Can you name 15 red sox players not in either the red sox hof or the baseball hof, or any player that has won any award?

3) are you at least as famous (and/or liked) as Ben Affleck? (casey is the only exception to this rule)
Permalink
LASportsblogAAA-er
775 days ago
Score 1+-
Suck it up, you all asked for this. Your years of winning and complaining and bitching about losing earned you this, the bandwagoners. So take them with your medicine and like it. Your not special or new or different, your just a slightly less expenisve, but currently much more annoying version of the Yankees bandwagoning fanbase.
Permalink | Reply
HappyskinnyAll-American
775 days ago
Score 2+-
Jealous much?
Permalink
The PipDiv-I Stud
772 days ago
Score 1+-
I don't mind bandwagonneering, just within limits. Pink Hats on locals I can handle. PEople with ties and roots to boston. People with friends from boston. Those are all cool. It's a college town so the bandwagon will be larger than normal due to all the damn transients (yes college kids). What I hate is celebrities that jump on. Afleck is legit, he sucks, but suffered. So did Steven King, so did JAmes Taylor. They payed the same dues I did, heck more because I was born during the '75 WS. I hate people using the Red Sox to help their celebrity status. F that. It can be a status symbol for normal people but not celebs. We know the real celeb fans from the frauds and we will call them out. I especially hate Aikman because he was doing the "I'm at the game I'll wear the home team's stuff because I have no loyalties." <- that junk pisses me off. You are an athlete you should understand that wearing merch should mean at least some real level of allegiance.
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Categories: Lockerroom | Lockerroom by User The Pip | October 26, 2007 | October 2007 | Boston Red Sox lockerroom | Baseball lockerroom

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