Little T Soon to Appear on a Bookstore Shelf Near You
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by user LastRow
Soon to be coming to a respective bookstore near you, (keyword here being “respective”) just in time for Christmas the release of a new children series. Okay, that’s fine, but what does a new children series have anything to do with the sports world? This isn’t any ole series being released by any author, oh no…Terrell Owens is set to release his first children's book in mid-November. Is there a better way to say HO, HO, HO? Can’t you just hear the kids sitting on Santa’s lap as they recite their list to him…”Oh please Santa, please bring me ``Little T Learns to Share for Christmas.
During Terrell Owens week last week, it’s fair to say this new venture for the at times outspoken, troublesome, annoying, bothersome, perplexed, bewildered, (feel free to add your own thoughts here), might have got overlooked with his homecoming to the city of brotherly love. This just in…LastRowSports.com has uncovered the real reason why Owens “was brought to Dallas”. Something that he was continuously trying to figure out after the game on Sunday as he stomped around the locker room in a rage. Taking too many pills again, did you? Contrary to popular belief, it doesn’t have anything to do with being a Dallas Cowboy receiver…Terry Glenn has that on lock. So one would understand why he has turned over a new leaf…After all we all know he’s treading on very thin ice already in Dallas. When the ice breaks in the very near future and his services are no longer wanted in the league, why he has something to fall back on in educating our youths. Very smart planning…Wonder who gave him that advice, his top-notch publicist or Drew Rosenhaus?
Speaking of Drew, now we fully understand why we never heard a peep from him when T.O. failed to do himself in. Him, along with brother Jason were to busy writing these three books. I just hope Little T wasn’t missed quoted in any of things…If Little T was, the kids who read this might misunderstand some things. And, well, we wouldn’t want Little T to be misunderstood now, would we? Unfortunately, at this time LastRowSport.com has not learned what it will be that Little T Learns to Share? Could it be his corrupt behavior? Although in all seriousness, we believe the first title of the series of Little T will have something to do with the refusal to share his football but eventually learns he can't enjoy his new ball without friends. These friends include Little Jeff, Little Donovan, & Little Drew.
Um, parents, save your money…All you need to do is have your child watch a football game that Little T plays in on Sunday, (better do it quick…He won’t be around for too much longer). It’s good to see that the main character in the book and the real life Asshole T are functioning on the same mentality level. I wonder if Little T is going to make a cameo in Bill Parcells stocking this holiday? Never know, it might be a good read for the Tuna…Could learn some different ways to handle big T? ``I tried to play outside alone and throw it by myself, but football isn't football unless you play with someone else, Little T says in the book. Is Little T referring to Drew Bledsoe & the Cowboys here?
Raising your child on this shit, well….There, I just described it…SHIT! Yeah, Terrell Owens is the best role model…The only thing that can be possible was than this if a parent is strung out on drugs. Nothing good ever comes out positive with the letters T.O. on it….Nothing! Although some might disagree? ``It's a life lesson for discipline, co-author Courtney Parker said Friday on The Dallas Morning News' Web site. And she also believes Owens has 25 million reasons to live. Ironically, this is the same person who is constantly trying to sell blind people a pair of glasses. “Oh they’ll do wonders for you!” Yeah, just like Terrell, one of the more undisciplined players in the NFL, will have a positive influence on my child…Thanks, but no thanks! However, they’ll be dumb enough parents out there who will buy this junk…And we wonder what’s wrong with society today? Although the more I think of it, I know the first person that will be in line to get this book…I’m sure Wacko Jacko will enjoy reading this story to all the little children. Aw, yes…There’s nothing better that goes with a story about Little T than homemade cookies, warm milk, & some Jesus juice. What’s next? I suppose we’re going to hear of the runaway bride suing her former fiancée for $500,000.
After the Christmas rush is over and these “respectable” book stores has a few months to restore some credit to their name again, be on the lookout for the second book in the Little T series. ``Little T Learns What Not to Say',' due in spring 2007, and the third, ``Little T Learns To Say I'm Sorry, is scheduled for release the following fall.
However in surprising developments, LastRowSports.com has exclusively uncovered some of the possible titles for the release 2007-2008.
“Little T moves all over the country to finds anybody who wants to be his friend”
“Little T is always misunderstood”
“Friends get a restraining order for Little T”
"Little T learns not to abuse prescription drugs"
With more titles to come, I was thinking about going out tonight and just knocking up a girl so I could buy it and read them myself. In addition to being on the lookout for these new titles beginning about a year from now…A-Rod has already started work on the first book called “Why Doesn’t Anybody Like Little Alex”. To be followed up by, “Little Alex Has 250 Million Reasons to be Happy, Despite the Very Bad People in New York.” (We’re guessing he’s work with T.O’s pubicist on this one)?
Plus, talks are in the preliminary stages between Saddam Huessin & Osama Bin Laden to begin production on their own line of children books. They figure if Terrell Owens can do it why can’t they?
LastRowSports.com
