John Rocker hates gays, steroid probes
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by user Thesportshog
Bah. Another day, another steroid "revelation." Pardon me for just a second while I react with the appropriate level of indignation.
IS NOTHING SACRED?!?! WHO DO THESE PLAYERS THINK THEY ARE?!?!? CURRENT PLAYER COULDN'T CARRY RANDOM OLD PLAYER'S JOCKSTRAP WITHOUT STEROIDS!!!! I AM OUTRAGED ON A PERSONAL LEVEL BY THESE UTTERLY SHOCKING DEVELOPMENTS!!! ARRGGGHHH!!! THESKYISFALLING!!!!
Wow. I feel much better. Thank you, Major League Baseball, for spotlighting these atrocities. To hell with Darfur... JOHN ROCKER USED STEROIDS!!!
Let me get this straight--a mediocre pitcher suddenly (a) starts throwing in the triple digits, (b) has a career shortened by soft-tissue injury, and (c) was an angry, raging nutjob *? Thank goodness Baseball decided to probe this issue further, or we might never have known that Rocker was on da juice.
So, if you are keeping score at home (in which case, you are even more bored than I am), we've got Baseball nailing Jason Grimsley, Raffy Palmeiro, a few minor leaguers, John Rocker**, Gary Matthews Jr.**, The Philly Phanatic***, and David Bell**. Wow. Color me amazed. Not at the list, mind you, but at the stupidity that keeps Baseball speaking ill of its sport at every opportunity in the name of "cleaning up" the game, only to find nothing on anyone of any import. Here's an idea... LET IT GO.
No, seriously. No one with half a brain thinks that baseball is the only sport where steroids are a problem (unless, of course, you think that human beings can naturally be 320 pounds and run 4.9 40s). It is, however, the only sport that finds new ways to point out just how flawed its drug testing policies are and have been for quite a while. Maybe, instead of screaming "look at all the filthy cheaters!" on a daily basis, Baseball should work on (a) developing better, more stringent testing, and (b) shut up about its problems. By not bringing it to the forefront of every single discussion from November through April, the players who were caught under the new tests could be used as examples of better policing instead of posterchildren for a jacked-up system.
*To be fair, coming from the hills of Georgia could have as much to do with the article I linked as the 'roids. **Sports Hog's legal counsel suggests I put "Allegedly" for these players. ***I have no proof of this, but it seems fairly obvious.
