Joe Theismann Opens Mouth and Inserts Foot Yet Again…Shocker!
| 14
|
by user LastRow
>
"The only thing I was disappointed in with the young man, and I hold his agents responsible for this, was to me, when you walk out on stage in front of millions and millions of people, that's a job interview. You don't go to a job interview chewing gum. And I felt like he could have presented himself in a much more professional manner. It looked like his tie was the first time he ever tried to tie one. It looked like his hair, he had just walked out of a shower, and he stands there, relieved as all get-out, chewing gum. And to me, that's not a professional image. And maybe I'm reading into it, but when it comes to drafts, when it comes to analyzing players, I think you have to look at everything." And with that we have the latest installment of "Joe Theismann Opening His Yap & Inserting Foot". For those that missed it, this brilliant utterance could be heard this morning on ESPN’s Radio’s Mike & Mike in the Morning. One would have thought for this being a pretty damn good radio show why would the show have to scrape the bottom of the barrel for a guest like him?
Theismann started off analyzing Quinn as a football player, which is down right hilarious in its own right given the fact that he knows nothing about it just judging by the fact that he got fired, (or excuse me, was it replaced or relieved) from his "analyzing duties" on MNF. Now, you know you had to be pretty pathetic if a network retains Tony Kornheiser and kicks your ass to the curb. Or how about hiring Keyshawn Johnson over the weekend to cover the draft…Now that’s just bad! Honestly, I was hoping Theismann would touch on that … How he felt about Ron Jaworski replacing him. Instead, deciding to take some time to bash a fellow former Notre Dame quarterback. I’m just guessing Joe shouldn’t wait next to the phone for a phone call from Charlie Weis asking him to come back to coach the spring game next year. Don’t hold yourbreath on that! Wait….Maybe on second thought he should. That would all help us out! It’s mind blowing to believe that somebody who graduated from this school can be so…Well, how can I put it? Such a moron!
Look, it’s obvious the story of this past weekend was the "Brady Quinn Saga"…That’s a fore gone conclusion. I know I was sitting there on the couch scratching myself to no end wondering what kind of gum Brady was chomping on…Was it Big Red, Bubble Yum, or a whole roll of six-feet of bubble gum? Um, Joe, I fail to see how in the world that’s a job interview…I always was under the impression that was the whole deal with the NFL combine. I even bet your ass somehow, someway the "gum chewing techniques" are some how measured at the combine…Everything else is! I bet that Brady can blow a bigger bubble than JaMarcus, Joe! As for "his hair", "walking out of a shower," and he stands there as you put it…Um, yeah, it’s good to know you pay attention to Notre Dame football for the past four years. Because if you did you would know that’s how its always looked! And I don't see chewing gum as that big a sin…You make it sound like he came to the draft packing…Pacman Jones style.
The bigger question is, what the hell difference does it any of the shit you said make anyway? Oh wait, I finally figured it out! This must be the reason he fell like a hot rock on Saturday…It was because his ability to tie a tie resembled that of one of a first grader. Um, Joe, far be it from me, but I thought Quinn only loosened his tie when it became apparent that he'd been sitting in the green room for a lot longer than he previously expected too. And I don't see chewing gum as that big a sin. Perhaps you, Joe, should try it more often…It would keep your lips shut since we all know your don’t have the God given ability to perform two tasks at the same time! For you’re the only one who has had something negative to say about BQ…Everybody else has had nothing but praise about he handled the entire situation. Although it comes as no surprise because quite simply…You’re a JACKASS!
Instead of open pie hole and inserting foot all the time…Pointing out everybody else’s problems, i.e. Ricky Williams, shouldn’t you be more focused on the problems in your own world. This is just a guess, but I bet you would be thrilled to death…Peeing in your pants if these concerns of gum chewing, hair styling, and tie tying were the least of your son’s problems. Now, we all know what kind of bonehead thoughts you offer up to us about football when we don’t even ask for it…Or don’t respect your opinions in anyway shape or form. I just wonder if you offer up this kind of brilliance to your son who has issues to say the least. Shouldn’t you be more concerned and focusing all your attention on him rather than what is or isn’t a "professional image"? Just a thought. And since I’m in the mood to hand out thoughts today, might I lay this one on you? The next time we want to hear something from you, we’ll beat it out of you! Until then, stuff the cake hole! You seem to have all the answers for everybody else…That is except your own! Start answering your own questions at home!
