Joe Theismann “Encouraged” Tony Kornheiser “To Stay With it"…Awesome!
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by LastRow
I think it’s a fair assessment to say that Tony Kornheiser was terrible last year in his first season as a Monday Night Football analyst…Everybody would just about agree with this. Though, did we know that he would bomb out like a 1981 brown Chevette, (yes, I just said "brown Chevette") doing 90 MPH…Um, yeah! I guess ABC/ESPN, (whatever the hell they call themselves) forgot about that little experiment gone bad…Why is the name Dennis Miller coming to mind here? While Miller showed his humor, intelligence and insight that makes him great outside the booth, that didn’t correlate into a good recipe inside of it. Thus the same dilemma followed Kornholio…Sure he’s a great fit on Pardon The Interruption, his various radio gigs and his writing ability, but a Monday Night Football analyst, he was worse than the Oakland Raiders.
So in today’s Washington Post there’s a disturbing interview which suggests Kornholio realized things weren't working out. Well, at least he wasn’t blind as to how bad he sucked! Although, let me point out something…If one realizes themselves that they are do-do, then they must be pretty bad! So TK was already to pack up his wannabe Madden Cruiser and bid farewell to the gig, when a colleague encouraged him not to do so. "In the middle of the season, Tony wanted to quit." "I encouraged him to stay with it." So who’s the complete dumbass who kept all our ears bleeding? Joe Theismann…Who else! Just when one thinks he can’t hate Theismann any worse, well, that theory goes right in the dookie collector!
Is there anybody in the sporting society who every time he decides to bump his lips together we want to go Michael Vick on him and either want to electrocute or hold them under water. It goes without saying that Theismann did a big disservice to football fans everywhere…Why don’t you just kick our dog(s) while you’re at it! Hell, why stop there…Just castrate us! Correct me if I’m wrong, but Monday Night Football is, well, just that…About football! Wouldn’t it be a fabulous idea to actually have to have announcers who know what they're talking about in the Monday Night Football booth? The only thing Tony knows about football is who’s on his fantasy team, and who kicked his ass in the league on that given week! He has that down pat!
Now Joe Theismann suddenly wants to become a humanitarian…What’s next, Joey Harrington’s starting a group dubbed the Good Newz Kennels? All this from the same SOB who can’t be bothered with all his issues that he has in his own personal life at home…Who’s ready to shit on anybody and everybody, and all of a sudden turns into mister nice guy? Awesome! Gee, thanks! Your Swell! Yeah, the real reason why big Joe T wanted TK to stay as a sidekick was he couldn’t believe we all hated somebody more than him…Loving every minute of it! Loving the fact that peeps didn’t want to beat themselves senseless with their remote controls because of him! That’s the real reason why Theismann played mister sensitivity…Probably even got down on his hands and knees pleading & begging like the little bitch that he is!
However, isn’t it ironic…Theismann encouraged Tony to stay, and now who’s on the outside of the booth looking in? You think TK went to ESPN/ABC encouraging them not to ax Joey T…Um, the phrase No Way Jose comes to mind here! Though the company did take an enormous step in the right direction by firing Theismann and replacing him with Jaworski! Now let's hope Jaws succeeds where Theismann failed…Either by locking Kornheiser in the film room, teaching him how to say something informative about football, or by showing him the door out of the booth next time he says he wants to quit. Followed up by…"You're right. You're awful. Quit now." Something Theismann eventually learned!
