Jock Jams Vol. 4: I swear we're still trendy

by user Hogpage

Jock Jams, Vol. IV: I swear we're still trendy

thePigPen would like to welcome another contributing writer to the forefront of a site that, supposedly, has changed people's lives in recent weeks (we don't like to toot our own horn here at thePigPen, it's just what we've heard). Say hello to Tweak. He'll enthrall you with pieces comparable to this one (see below), and don't be threatened if he delves into some tennis analysis. Seriously. Enjoy ____________________ [1] Yes, it’s true. Believe it or not, thePigPen investigative reporters believe ESPN is finally gracing us with the much anticipated release of Jock Jams: Volume IV. It’s been a decade since Jock Jams: Vo l.III was released. I’ve waited almost half of my life for another classic compilation. After all this time I was beginning to be a believer in the saying, “All good things must come to an end.” I mean, come on, it’s hard to follow up on a series of albums that had hits like No Diggity, This Is How We Do It, Macho Man, and Macarena. The full track list hasn’t been made public yet, but thePigPen investigators have taken the time out of their busy day to graciously provide you with enough a sample, or should I say tease, of what’s to come.

ESPN presents: Jock Jams, Volume IV: I swear we're still trendy

"U and Ur Hand", Pink In recent months, ESPN's decided to pay homage to the chip-stacking renegades of professional poker. Let’s face it, over the years poker has blown up quicker than Anna Nicole Smith sans the Trim Spa. It’s encouraged millions to sit at their computer for days at a time playing online poker, sacrificing friends and family, all for the hopes of getting rich without ever having to leave their house, or winning a free seat at the World Series. But let’s not get carried away now. They may be athletes who sport a tremendous amount of mental toughness, but the odds usually don't swin [2] g their way on the lady front. You have to see past their bluff and realize that Phil Hellmuth and company probably jerk it at least five times a day. That’s why the fourth track listed, "U and Ur Hand", by Pink, has somewhat of a double-meaning.

"Party Like A Rockstar", Shop Boyz It appears that ESPN is trying to stay "hip", and it looks as though Stewart Scott isn't doing the trick anymore. ESPN continues to settle for songs that better reflect the attitude and aura of today’s sports. With that said, the second track listed, "Party Like a Rockstar", by Shop Boyz, is being dedicated to everybody’s favorite bad boy, Adam “Pacman” Jones. Strippers, cash, booze, sex and drugs, enough said.

"I wanna talk about me", Toby Keith

Toby Keith's, "I wanna talk about me", can be found under the bonus tracks in your Jock Jams Vol. 4 variety pack. To salute the dicks in sports today, Track 6 has been dedicated to sportsman of the year, Terrell Owens. His selfishness and lack of sportsmanship has spewed its carnage over three NFL franchises. Not to mention, ruining a recent wedding by failing to abide by the all white dress code. When asked about the dedication, Owens replied, "I wrote that song and sang it. Who's Toby Keith?"

So put on your cowboy hat and come dance the Texas two-step with Toby and Terrell.

"Ridin' Dirty", Chamillionaire Whether you like it or not, Nascar has made it into our pop culture. And thanks to ESPN, Nascar drivers are now considered celebrities thanks to the Worldwide Leader's highly-acclaimed commercials. To commemorate Nascar’s success and post-ra [3] ce fights (Harvick vs. Biffle, Stewart vs. Bowyer), the third track listed is "Ridin’ Dirty", by Chamillionaire. What are the odds none of the Nascar drivers know who, or what, a Chamillionare is. Or. more importantly, how to "ride dirty".

"Accidentally in Love", Counting Crows The first track on the album is "Accidentally in Love", by Counting Crows. To promote the release of Vol. 4, Counting Crows belted out the classic hit during the pregame ceremonies last night at the Home Run Derby. And yes, you heard it for the first time on the Shrek 2 soundtrack, but what’s better than an encore…three years later. Maybe it was because of the uncomfortable amount of kids running around the field. Or maybe it was because Barry Bonds reminded the Counting Crows of Shrek. Either way, it might of been the two most awkward minutes of the night.

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