Jeff Fisher Remains Hunched Over for Entire 3 ½ Hour Practice to Conceal Raging Football Boner

Tennessee Titans head coach Jeff Fisher is known as a stickler who often hawks his players as they run through even the most mundane of drills. But even his players were surprised to see the 49-year-old coach hunched over for more than 3.5 hours at their most recent practice, scrutinizing their every move.

“I think he had a football boner,” said quarterback Vince Young. “You see a coach get down like that for maybe a couple minutes at a time. But three and a half hours? Dude definitely had a monster football boner.”

“Talk about awkward,” said running back Chris Henry. “I guess you could really tell when we broke for water. All the guys jogged over, but coach stayed like another twenty, thirty minutes. He was all by himself out there, just staring at the forty-five yard line. Finally, one of the assistant coaches brought him his play chart, then he stood up and we finished practice.”

Young added that football boners are common this time of year.

“It’s natural,” he said. “It’s like when you’re walking down the hall in junior high school, covering it with your books, or when you’re riding in the car. It happens. I knew a guy who went on the injured list once because he won a Madden game in triple overtime and that sh** lasted like nine, ten hours. It’s even worse with the fans. You see these fat white guys walking around training camp with the media guide in front of their crotch, like we don’t know. Man, it’s O.K.. This is America. We like football.”

Young said he expected football boners to be popping up all over America this time of year. “Every August,” he said, smiling. “But I hope [coach Fisher] can get his under control. We were only 8-8 last year. We have a lot of work to do.”

Fisher said he planned to call the league office for an explanation of the Tuck rule.

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