Jay the Joke Defends DNL
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- When Lou Piniella describes The Domer as a cross between Ichiro Suzuki and Hideki Matsui, I cringe. When Jim Hendry says the four-year deal is well worth it, I wonder if Aaron Rowand -- likely San Francisco-bound -- would have been a better idea for a bit more scratch. - Jay Mariotti
Blah, blah, blah.
It is worthy to note that Jay Mariotti seems to retract from his age old dogma that throwing money at high priced athletes is the solution for all Chicago sports franchises whenever it suits his self-centered purposes. And of course, during the conclusion of a major free agent signing that occurs outside the city limits of Chicago, the back page of the Chicago Sun-Times is spewed with filth and rhetoric innuendo containing the word "cheap".
And then there is the Kosuke Fukudome signing the other day which forces Jay to search the filing cabinet to research his own reaction over last season's deal that garnered Alfonso Soriano. After the realization that simply substituting Soriano's name for Fukudome probably would be noticed by the one or two loyal minions that actually bought into the myth that Mariotti is some sort of informed and credible source of sports information, Jay elects to throw in an obligatory rant against the White Sox. And why you ask? Simply to appease the Jerry Reinsdorf haters and deflect the rather noticeable hypocrisy of a double standard.
Mariotti paints the picture of an epic bust in the works for the Chicago Cubs bringing aboard ko-SUE-kay foo-koo-DOUGH-may (suspiciously similar to what Dan Lewis of ArmchairGM wrote earlier) and in typical rant mode, proclaims :
- But he's also a 30-year-old coming off elbow surgery in a shortened season. And he's an import who will experience a delicate cultural transition period in Cubdom, where he'll have to adjust to the intense demands of fans and media, not to mention the vines and wall quirks in right field, the weirdness of Ronnie (Woo Woo) Wickers, the trash thrown from the stands when the team stinks and tantrums he surely hasn't seen before, courtesy of the manager.
Okay, so fair enough you assume. What's the big deal that a columnist doesn't support a player signing? Happens all the time right?
Well keep reading:
- That's more than can be said for the White Sox, whose miserable winter continued when the Fukudome bidding grew too high for their Reinsdorfian budget. Of course, general manager Ken Williams has admitted the Sox are back in cheapskate mode -- did he really say he can't offer a full dollar when he doesn't have 50 cents? -- in an offseason that only has angered fans who realize Team Jerry isn't trying very hard.
Huh. So let's get this straight, shall we? The Cubs are suckers for signing a 30 year old baseball player with a suspect elbow and apparently Jay is not thrilled with "Asian products" (that'll get some attention from a particular demographic) while at the same time the White Sox are cheapskates for not signing Fukudome? I'm already picture the Japanese media contingent sharing the press box with Mariotti over at Wrigley Field in complete bewilderment(assuming of course that he actually attends a Cubs game next season).
To jinx Fukudome even further, Mariotti thinly veils a comparison with the Japanese ballplayer to the departing Mark Prior. It is interested to note that earlier Mariotti wrote of the pitcher :
- How did the Hall of Fame train derail? You might say his golden arm was rusted out by the high pitch counts of Dusty Baker. You might say his right elbow never was the same after it was struck by a 117 mph liner off Brad Hawpe's bat. You might say he became gun-shy about his health after the infield collision with Marcus Giles. You might say his father, Jerry, has overfilled Mark's head with thoughts instead of urging him to throw the damn heater past the batter. You might say he's been on the disabled list so much, he's thinking about buying furniture and adding a deck. You might say he was bogged down by steroids talk that forced him to call a news conference and shoot down the innuendo. You might say he has listened to too many people through the years -- tutor Tom House, Cubs pitching coach Larry Rothschild, commentator Steve Stone -- and not enough to his own muse. You might say he never has pitched like a guy who's having much fun, but has pitched like a guy who is scared to succeed.
Of course everyone knows that Jay Mariotti was a top notch athlete simply because he once stood on the sideline of house league "keep no score" kiddie soccer games and took a few tennis lessons. Any day now, we all expect Pittsburgh to build the Jay Mariotti Sports Hall of Fame to honor that type of God given athletic talent. This morning, it seems that Mariotti decided to blame all of Prior's woes on the Chicago Cubs and their fans with the only the incessant harping of former manager Dusty Baker's alleged overuse of the pitcher as a constant:
- Prior's arm was burned out by the hideous pitch counts allowed by Dusty Baker, despite the protests of his father in the stands. Prior was unfairly criticized by fans who thought he was a wimp when, in fact, he was fighting arm soreness for years. In the end, he became the most visible evidence that Cubdom is plagued by a curse. It's possible he'll never regain enough velocity to be a factor in the major leagues. It's possible, I suppose, that he'll never pitch again.
Seems like Mariotti will take whatever hypocritical stance is necessary to bash a Chicago sports team. And "borrow" another writer's bit on an athlete's surname in the process.
Stay classy Jay.
