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Jay Mariotti Relocating to Beantown?

19
Vote

by Tyrone Briggs

'

"It's a magnificent experience, not as neighborhoody as Wrigley but cut romantically into the framework of Boston life. They've added seats atop the Green Monster and somehow have enhanced the park instead of infringing on its integrity. Everything is green and beautiful, and while the seats are narrow, no one is complaining as I write this in a press area in the right-field seats. They stand the entire game, sip their hot chocolate, chant their heroes' names and appreciate their newfound glory. There isn't a drunk in sight because everyone is immersed in each pitch, with an extraordinary number of folks actually keeping score with pencils." - Jay Mariotti

So now you love all that is Boston instead of Boise, San Diego or Miami?

The irony of Jay's sudden love-fest for Beantown is hilarious, considering his outrage over the World Series being played in cold climates. After all, it is almost exactly one year ago (tomorrow actually represents this notorious column's first anniversary) when Mariotti begged Bud Selig with the following proposal:

So, at the risk of offending purists everywhere, is it time to at least discuss the idea of moving the World Series permanently to warm-weather sites in California, Arizona and Florida?

Hey Ben and Jen, did you read that howitzer of a comment carefully? If Jay had it his selfish way, there wouldn't even be a World Series at Fenway because he doesn't want his skin to chafe from that bitter crisp New England autumn air. Better cancel the back page pundit's invite to your retreat for a weekend visit.

And of course, it is absolutely imperative for Jay to bash the Chicago Cubs at the expense of whatever opportunity arises. After all, it makes perfect sense to lavishly spend company dime for travel and expense to cover this World Series, only to report on the fact that the Cubs are not playing. Brilliant.

Jay also takes note of the glorious architecture of Fenway Park without taking any account of the well accepted fact that the Chicago Tribune, along with earlier efforts from Bill Veeck, have done likewise with Wrigley Field. But alas, poor Jay is seemingly unable to cope with rowdy liquor abusive prone Cubs fans with his fanciful outrageous declaration that no Red Sox fans were drunk at last night's game. Now at last, we all know the real reason why Mariotti is incapable of attending any hometown Chicago baseball games. His AA sponsor must be very proud.

As for anything descriptive and relevant about the game itself? Well, its rather dubious despite his assertion of attendance that Jay really stuck around all nine innings of Game 2. Obviously Jay would've spent a good part of the game arguing on his chic iPhone to the editor over his refusal of subjecting his chaps to the cruel hellacious climate of Colorado for potentially three games. However one has no doubt whatsoever that Joe Buck was generous enough afterwards, to completely fill Jay in on all the necessary Game 2 details, during their drive together to Cape Cod.


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TylersaltAll-Star
770 days ago
Score 5+-
We don't want him!
Permalink | Reply
Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
770 days ago
Score 3+-
Neither does Chicago. Nor did Denver or Detroit.
Permalink
TylersaltAll-Star
770 days ago
Score 3+-
Oh, and Ben Affleck should be publicly shamed for defiling something beautiful.
Permalink | Reply
Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
770 days ago
Score 5+-
Why couldn't someone - anyone - introduce Ben Affleck to Dane Cook first?
Permalink
PrenceJV Squad
770 days ago
Score 3+-
I wish someone would put Jay Mariotti and Buster Olney on a boat .. then light it on fire.
Permalink | Reply
Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
770 days ago
Score 2+-
Any room there for Skip Bayless?
Permalink
Tmil42AAA-er
770 days ago
Score 1+-
What's wrong with Buster? I like him.
Permalink
Bobbyjim45Draft Pick
770 days ago
Score 4+-
Sweet Jesus, let's start building a fence around New England to keep Jay Mariotti from stealing our jobs and our souls.
Permalink | Reply
Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
770 days ago
Score 1+-
Jay LOVES Cape Cod. As does Joe Buck.
Permalink
TrizzAll-American
770 days ago
Score 3+-
Dont try to dump ur analysts on us...its bad enough we got Dan Shaunessey
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
770 days ago
Score 2+-
It recently hit me that Phoenix NEEDS Jay Mariotti. Then Phoenix would have A journalist of note worth ripping (other than that Manny Stiles guy). This is such a crappy sports town that he might invoke an actual "meep" from the apathetic fan bases. Plus I might bump into him in a press box and get to ask him if his lips are real...
Permalink | Reply
Manny StilesMajor Leaguer
770 days ago
Score 1+-
Besides, there's already too many Cubs and Bears fans here that deserve a little come uppance! Send out here! In two summers we'll be talking about his lips looking like ostrich jerky from the Arizona Sun - the kind that feels like the microwave is running with the door open!
Permalink
Falcon02520Legend
770 days ago
Score 1+-
good, get him farther away from me by sticking him with Manny in Arizona...
Permalink
TyduffyRed-Shirting
770 days ago
Score 1+-
You almost gave me a heart attack! You can only have one complete moron per city. We are already covered with CHB.
Permalink | Reply
The PipDiv-I Stud
770 days ago
Score 1+-
The main reason I hate Around the Horn is due to the increase in fame of Jay Mariotti. That guy is a huge @ss! He is the Bill O'Rielly of sports.
Permalink | Reply
TyduffyRed-Shirting
770 days ago
Score 1+-
Yeah, I think that is what makes Mariotti worse than Shaughnessy. Shaughnessy writes like a jerk at times, but Mariotti just is one.
Permalink | Reply
Tyrone BriggsHall of Famer
770 days ago
Score 1+-
Ozzie Guillen had a much more apt descriptive term for Mariotti.
Permalink
LASportsblogAAA-er
770 days ago
Score 1+-
I'm prepared, upon my own sufficent position of employment in writing to offer Tyrone a job just crapping on Jay Mariotti
Permalink | Reply
B-ryeJV Squad
770 days ago
Score 1+-
Are you kidding, Mariotti and Boston are a perfect fit. They both think they're hot sh!t and complain a lot.
Permalink | Reply
Anonymous Fanatic #1
767 days ago
Score 0+-
Just take him, for free..... No wait we'll pay you. Just take his dumb a$$
Permalink | Reply
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This page was last modified 13:52, 26 October 2007. Content is available under the GFDL.

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