Jay Mariotti Continues Bryant Filibustering
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And to think there are fans out there who are happy the Bryant talks stalled. Excuse me, but are you crazy? High? Or just gullible about the overhype that the Bulls can win the East without a low-post scorer or a clutch finisher? Be happy that Lakers coach Phil Jackson, upon hearing Paxson's so-called trade pullout, quickly reminded everyone that Bryant still could be traded to Chicago or elsewhere. - Jay Mariotti
Blah, blah, blah.
Let's check out Jay's filibustering for OMG Kobe Bryant! this past week:
Saturday, November 3 - Kobe hangover staggers Bulls
Friday, November 2 - Memo to Mad Pax: Keep pursuing Kobe
Thursday, November 1 - Kobe would have made the shot
Wednesday, October 31 - A-Rod and Kobe? Dream on
Imagine poor Sun-Times subscribers having to re-read the same nightmare of a column every morning, over and over again. This somewhat is reminiscent of Bill Murray arising to Sonny and Cher's I Got You Babe while covering Punxsutawney Phil's weather prognosticating abilities in Ground Hog Day.
This hyperventilating shtick is not a new act for Mariotti, who covets expensive free agents and primadonna wannabes kicking and screaming to leave their current teams at all costs. Jay identifies to this type of behavior. After all, the back page pundit did indeed sit out an entire summer during the aftermath of Fag Gate while leveraging the Sun-Times into a new contract deal that cruelly permits the reign of terror to continue another three years.
In short, Kobe Bryant has been stomping and pouting in public for quite awhile now to leave Los Angeles. Jay really likes that mentality. A lot. One wonders how many shopping mall Santas received kicks to the groin by a young Jay pouting and screaming over his Christmas demand lists. Has Hawthorn Mall yet banned the Mariottis from shopping during this holiday season?
For those new to the Mariotti rant game, it is quite simple. No current Chicago athlete is ever worthy to play professional sports, if one were inclined to actually take Jay's opinions seriously. And whenever a big ticket name in sports is mentioned in a potential transaction deal, he jumps into the fray with hook, line and sinker already baited to needlessly rattle a Chicago general manger to bring home an Alex Rodriguez or Kobe Bryant all gift wrapped up with a pretty bow to temper tantrum, stomping Jay.
Yes, it is indeed quite that pathetic.
A year ago, it was all about Ben Wallace for Jay. The fetish for the big guy's afro and headband along with a disturbing attraction for a certain blow up doll, was greatly frightening to Chicago. With the delight of a child receiving a new pricey toy, Mariotti was enthralled :
In a league filled with showoffs, egomaniacs and problem children, Wallace is a refreshing symbol of work ethic who won't spill one less sweatbead because he hit the free-agent jackpot. For John Paxson and Skiles to throw $60 million at a player, the object would have to be someone in their image. Ben is all that, old- school and the best defensive player in the world, an intimidator who could melt the Michael Jordan statue -- though not Jordan, I don't think -- simply by glaring at it.
And how quickly did Jay grow bored with Wallace? Try less than a season. Flip and flop indeed :
For $60 million, Wallace hasn't made enough of a difference. In fact, seeing how the Bulls could use some expensive offseason reinforcements, his signing may be remembered as a huge mistake. They couldn't dump the remaining years and money if they tried, meaning John Paxson will have to work around the contract if the Bulls want to make a blockbuster deal for Kevin Garnett or Pau Gasol.
For this Christmas, Jay is huffing and puffing for a brand new Kobe. Considering that Phil Jackson has been able to successfully coach all walks of life, including Dennis Rodman, is extremely telling that he once considered Bryant, "uncoachable". What has changed in Bryant's character since that assessment?
Here is hoping that Santa finally gets his revenge.
get to da chopper!
"I did not have sex with that man!"
