It Takes Balls steps up to the plate...
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As I often do on such auspicious occasions, I am going to post a tidbit I wrote several years ago. It serves to tell you a little bit about who you are dealing with here. I'll go on to spout off more in the future, but for now you can read on at the It Takes Balls blog. So without further ado...
" fanatic -noun 1. A person with an extreme and uncritical enthusiasm or zeal, as in religion or politics Yeah, thank you dictionary.com. You forgot sports. Sports, we watch, listen, read about sports. People do it for different reasons. Some like the logic or strategy of a particular sport. Many people love baseball for the logic, and the statistical analysis. Some football enthusiasts immerse themselves in the battleground aspects of the game. Some like the sheer athleticism, the uncanny feats of grace, speed, height or power that the finest athletes exhibit.
I envy those sorts of people, I really do. You see, I suffer from sportus fanaticus Bostonian. ' It's a dreadful disease, it really is. For most it is something that begins in adolescence, although cases of adult on-set are not uncommon. It afflicts persons with some ties to New England, although they need not live in the region currently, or even ever in some cases.
I know people in Colorado and California who are as afflicted as many of my fellow Massholes. There are also varying degrees of the disease. Some only suffer from it from April through October, others October through June, still others only September till January. The truly hopeless cases, such as myself, are saddled by it year-round.
The symptoms are unique. Vicious mood swings, ranging from pure ecstasy to inconsolable despondence, are common. An unnatural need to scour the morning paper/internet site/television within moments of waking, returning from a meeting, getting lunch, etc. A strong desire to posess numerous articles of clothing displaying names and numbers or colorful logos. A strong sense of ownership over things that you have none. And finally, an illogical connection of self to team, despite not actually being a member.
This is the life of a sportus fanaticus Bostonian sufferer. And I admit, I am one. I follow the Boston Red Sox, the Boston Celtics and the New England Patriots. Passionately. Daily. In season, off season, draft day, training camp, I am there, mentally if not physically. These are MY teams. Yes, mine dammit. I OWN them and I am a team member. I am coach, cheerleader, General Manager, sportscaster.
I feel pain when my teammates go down. I am in the huddle when the final push is about to be made. I am in the home plate celebration after the walk-off home run, on the free throw stripe with the game on the line. I am all those places. It is the disease. And there is no cure, and even if there was, I doubt I'd take it. So there you have it.
