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It's The World Cup Name Awards!

16
Vote

by user Skretch22

The World Cup is about three things: (1) National pride, (2)Great soccer, and 3)Great player names! Without further ado, I give you my 2006 World Cup Name Awards!

World Cup Name Awards

The "Giggle like a 10-year-old" Award: Kaka (Brazil)

The "I only need one name because I'm awesome" Award: Tie between Cafu (Brazil) Loco (Angola), Xavi (Spain)

The "I'm posing off the whole one name thing" Award: Tie between Joaquin (Spain), Love (Angola)

The "Most confusing one name" Award: Fred (Brazil)

The "How-do-you-say...Ahh Yes..." Award: Marc Zoro (Ivory Coast)

The "Seinfeld Reference" Award: Bosko Balaban (Croatia)

The "Star Trek Reference" Award: Oliver Khhhhaaaannn (Germany)

The "Dr. Seuss" Award: Tie between Lebo Lebo (Angola), Gilles Yapi Yapo (Ivory Coast), and Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink (Netherlands)

The "Most mocked as a kid" Award: Jan Polak (Czech Republic)

The "My Village is on Fire!" Award: Edwin Villafuerte (Ecuador)

The "Best attempt at an alternate spelling of a dull first name" Award: Cyd Gray (Trinidad and Tobago)

The "My name is only cool in the soccer realm" Award: Rio Ferdinand (England)

The "Best use of the letter Z" Award: Zinadine Zidane (France)

The "Table Sport" Award: Razak Pimpong (Ghana)

The "Name that most resembles an ex-Vice President, but isn't exactly the same" Award: Dan Quaye (Ghana)

The "I couldn't pronounce this if my live depended on it" Award: Sohrab Bakhtiarizadeh (Iran)

The "Guy who Joe Pesci would most likely beat up if there were a Good Fellas 2" Award: Luca Toni (Italy)

The "God hath named thee" Award: Ho Lee (South Korea)

The "Most over-used media headline pun" Award: Omar Bravo (Mexico)

The"Steroids Check" Award: Tim De Cler (Netherlands)

The "Can I buy a vowel?" Award: Marcin Baszczynski (Poland)

The "Hey Look! My first name rhymes with my last name!" Award: Yakin Haken (Switzerland)

The "Homonym" Award: Otto Addo (Ghana)

And lastly, The "There's no way I'm believing they're American" Award: Tie between Brian Ching, Carlos Bocanegra, Claudio Reyna, and Oguchi Onyewu (United States)

Honorable Mentions: Quim (Portugal), Ruud Van Nistelrooij (Netherlands), Bonaventure Kalou (Ivory Coast), Peter Crouch (England), Chong Gug Song (South Korea)

Enjoy the games, everyone! Go USA!!!


Date

Mon 06/19/06, 5:58 am EST

Enable Comment Auto-Refresher
ChristofMVP
1263 days ago
Score 0+-
What about best air violin player - that Italian who scored Italy's only goal in the Italy/US match!
Permalink | Reply
DNLLegend
1263 days ago
Score 0+-
Otto Addo #1. What a great name.
Permalink | Reply
PeanMajor Leaguer
1263 days ago
Score 3+-
"my name is otto, and i like to get blotto!" - otto from the simpsons
Permalink | Reply
EnyboDiv-I Stud
1262 days ago
Score 0+-
Haha, these are great. Yakin Haken sounds like someone throwing up.
Permalink | Reply
Alex HolowczakHall of Famer
1262 days ago
Score 0+-
Ironic how Peter Crouch is the tallest player in the England squad...
Permalink | Reply
Bleeding GreenVarsity
1262 days ago
Score 2+-
Ruud Van Nistelrooij is just the greatest name ever.
Permalink | Reply
CpipaPee Wee
1262 days ago
Score 0+-
I think Fred is definitely the best name of the tournament
Permalink | Reply
Bleeding GreenVarsity
1262 days ago
Score 1+-
Fred is certainly right up there... No argument on that
Permalink
CpipaPee Wee
1262 days ago
Score 0+-
with Kaka as a close second
Permalink | Reply
Anonymous Fanatic #1
1262 days ago
Score 2+-
And lastly, The "There's no way I'm believing they're American" Award: Tie between Brian Ching, Carlos Bocanegra, Claudio Reyna, and Oguchi Onyewu - Yeah cuz we all know that only white anglo-saxons can be Americans.
Permalink | Reply
Anonymous Fanatic #2
1262 days ago
Score 1+-
okay, you're right 'anon fanatic' this is a very, very serious awards ceremony. lets keep it politically correct.
Permalink | Reply
Anonymous Fanatic #3
1261 days ago
Score 0+-
Villafuerte would be much funnier if his name was actually Villafuego. Also, Rio Ferdinand sounds like a Duran Duran song.
Permalink | Reply
Anonymous Fanatic #4
1261 days ago
Score 0+-
i love fred, kaka, and shaka hislop. but, the one that gets me is Bastian Schweinsteiger. His last name loosely translates to 'pig climber'.
Permalink | Reply
Anonymous Fanatic #5
1261 days ago
Score 0+-
"Bonaventure Kalou" sounds like a villian in either a Van Damme or Steven Segal movie
Permalink | Reply
Anonymous Fanatic #6
1261 days ago
Score 1+-
The call in the Brazil game the other day cemented Fred as the best name of the tourney. "Robinho strikes the post...Fred tapes it home...GOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLL.....GOOOAAAALLLLL by FRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Permalink | Reply
Anonymous Fanatic #7
1261 days ago
Score 0+-
Petr Cech (Czech goalkeeper) should get at least honorable mention on the "Can I buy a vowel " Award
Permalink | Reply
Anonymous Fanatic #8
1261 days ago
Score 0+-
No mention of Togo coach Otto Pfister??? The name's great enough, but combined with those open front pajama shirts he wears on the sidelines make him the comedic highlight of the world cup!
Permalink | Reply
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