Instead of watching Game 4 of the NBA Finals, Hop on the Nearest Elevator…Much More Fun!
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by user LastRow
As we sift through the carnage of a mostly D.O.A. NBA Finals, we wonder…Can anything save it at this point? Um, the answer would be a big "NO!" my friends! In having the league’s youngest star in Lebron James on it’s biggest showcase, this year’s edition of the glorified series is, well, just that…! The league couldn’t wait for the day that Mr. James reached the pinnacle of pro basketball, now everybody can’t wait for the 2007 NBA Finals to be over!
Will it happen in a four game sweep, outside the peeps in Cleveland, everybody is hoping that’s the case…Nobody wants to see a long drawn out death. And quite simply, that’s what kind of level these Finals are on! So, does David Stern recognize this and pull the plug tonight, or will he give Cavs fans false hope for a night before eventually stepping in and letting go? It’s not like we’re going to be watching Game Five on Thursday if there’s one anyway, so Big Dave just realize your wet dream of having Lebron James in the Finals has become a nightmare! Nobody’s watching, nobody cares…Sad to say, these Finals have fallen into the same category that the NHL & Gary Bettman is so familiar with! Don’t hold the Finals hostage any longer than it’s necessary to Stern!
Now is it the Cavaliers fault that they’re in the Finals? No! It’s just compliments of the draw in the Eastern Conference…And for that, Cavs fans finally have a reason to be giving thanks to Chicago! For the Bulls loss on the final night of the regular season allowed the Witness & Company Group to sleep walk right into the Eastern Conference Finals. Now Lebron has shown why he’s the face of the league for the next coming decade or so, but we still have the same OLE answer to that redundant posed question… "Can Lebron, (or any other star player) lead a bunch of knuckle heads to the promise land?" That answer is all but in…Just waiting on David Stern!
I don’t know about anybody else in "blogger heaven", but I can give a rats ass about these Finals…However, once the games are over I get all giggly to turn on NBATV (channel 108 on the Brighthouse Networks) and listen to all the reporters pose dumbass questions. That’s definitely more entertaining than what the D.O.A. Finals have brought…And once again I’ll do the same thing tonight, bypass the game and listen to the Spurs and the boring responses in the press room.
Although for Game Four I’m changing my game routine. Ever wonder what one can do on an elevator? Well, besides the obvious one, (let’s keep it clean people). I’ve been thinking about all the things one can do in/on an elevator and figure this would be the perfect night to try out some of the following "Things to do" riding the elevator up and down in my condo complex like an 8-year old riding Space Mountain at Disney World! Although, I’ll have you know I live in a 10 story building, so there. Sure it most likely won’t compare to when Charlie, Willy Wonka, & Gramps busted out of the Chocolate Factory and went for a joy ride over town, but hey, I’m not Big Willy! Although it sure beats watching the Gags get, well gagged!!
With out further ado, here’s my "Elevator Checklist)…Chad Johnson, go get your own! Lets see how many I can put a check mark by this evening!
"THINGS TO DO IN AN ELEVATOR"
When there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn't you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you're on.
Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend.
After awhile, let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, "That's mine!"
Bring a camera and take pictures of everyone in the elevator.
Move a desk in to the elevator and whenever someone gets on, ask if they have an appointment. Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they'd like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them if they hear something ticking.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Ask, "Did you feel that?"
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay. Don't panic, they open up again."
Swat at flies that don't exist.
Tell people that you can see their aura. Call out, "group hug!", then enforce it.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, "Shut up, all of you, just shut up!"
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, Got enough air in there?"
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, "You're one of THEM!" and back away slowly.
Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other passengers.
Listen to the elevator walls with your stethoscope.
Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, "I have new socks on."
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, "This is my personal space!"
Yes indeed, Game Four is certainly no match for this! David Stern, just let it go…Do the right thing and face the music, face the fact that Lebron is stuck in Cleveland with no way out! It’s just like Ichiro said http://www.lastrowsports.com/2007/06/classic-quote-at-perfect-time-to-tell.asp. And, oh yeah, Lebron, um, have fun playing in your sand box this summer, bub!
Well that’s all for me from a top of the venue this week…However, before I sign of, to all the male parents out there who read my sports scuttlebutt allow me to wish every one a very Happy Father’s Day!! I know my pops will read this sometime, so Happy Father's Day, POPS!! I’m out like platforms shoes for this week, but keep the elevator games real!! Later Turkeys!
