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Incredibly Novel Concepts, Vol. VIII

17
Vote

by J Cunningham

No 4-game suspensions here. No allegations, no indictments, no innuendo of steroid use or betting or point shaving or animal cruelty.

No pointless debates over who is more “now” … whatever the hell that means.

Nope … it’s time to take a much-needed break from this week’s sports disasters to give everyone the latest, make that eighth, edition of …

… INCREDIBLY NOVEL CONCEPTS!!!

INC #1: So much for that holdout, eh?

Chicago Bears linebacker Lance Briggs blustered for months how he’d hold out, how he never again wanted to play for Chicago after they slapped him with the franchise tag. Under the rule – which the players’ union agreed on in the last CBA – Briggs would make league average for the top five players at his position this coming season … roughly $7.2 million. He plays well enough, he could get a big-time long-term deal in the offseason.

But Briggs didn’t want to hear it. He saw the money flying Brian Urlacher’s way. He saw the contracts his other defensive mates were getting, and he wanted a piece of the pie.

Fortunately, someone – agent Drew Rosenhaus, perhaps? – sat Briggs down and told him why it was in his best interest to play this season, to not hold out for the first 10 games. If he has a stellar year, he’ll look that much more attractive to other teams once the season ends.

Oh, and did I mention the $7.2 million? Not to mention the fact that the Bears promised not to designate him with the franchise tag again in 2008 if he participated in 75 percent of his team’s defensive snaps this year?

But more importantly, if everyone’s got such a problem with the franchise tag, here’s a marvelous idea: the next time the Collective Bargaining Agreement is up for discussion and change, talk about perhaps getting rid of that clause. The players agreed to it, so it tires me to hear player after player gripe and moan about being slapped with it.

I’m glad Briggs decided to shut up and collect his money after all. He might just get long-term deal he wants after all.

INC #2: Mike Coolbaugh, first base coach for AA-class Tulsa, was killed when a line drive struck him in the side of the neck Sunday. A tragic situation, one in which I can’t place blame or call out anyone for their stupidity.

But I will make one suggestion in hopes of preventing this in the future: make first- and third-base coaches wear batting helmets in the future.

Coolbaugh was hit just behind his left ear, an area of the head that would be protected by a batting helmet. The impact ruptured an artery, causing a loss of blood to his brain.

The coaches are in the line of fire; there’s no way around that. You can’t move them in the interest of their safety and still have them do their jobs on the field effectively. But by making them wear the same helmets players do, you can decrease the already miniscule chance of something like this happening.

Commentators always chuckle when Gary Sheffield is at the plate and the third-base coach almost backs up to the wall. It’s funny, they say, because Sheffield is such a pull hitter the coach is in the way.

Coolbaugh’s death shows that this isn’t a laughing matter, and that something can happen to the coach, regardless of who’s at the plate.

INC #3: Let’s take a break from the bad seeping through the sports world this week and give a shout-out to Jon Lester. The Boston Red Sox leftie made his major-league return Monday night, just 11 months after he was diagnosed with a treatable form of lymphoma.

Cancer’s our generation’s plague, a medical scourge that affects everyone and kills thousands a day (if not more). To see someone so young – Lester was a rookie last season when the diagnosis hit – struck with this disease is especially heart-wrenching, but his battle back is a heartwarming story.

I saw him pitch for AAA Pawtucket a few months back against Norfolk and though I was rooting for the Tides, I had a soft spot in my heart for Lester. For him to contract cancer and come roaring back to resume his life and his career is something all baseball fans should stand up and salute.

It’s just a shame Lester’s story is getting buried by dogfighting, betting and steroid use. Lester’s an example of what can be right with sports, and more people need to pay attention to guys like him.

INC #4: NASCAR Craftsman Truck Series driver Aaron Fike was arrested recently for heroin possession, leading to his indefinite suspension from the sport.

But I’m not here to talk about how stupid Fike is for having and possibly even using heroin; his arrest brought up the issue of NASCAR’s drug-testing policy. Specifically, the sanctioning body only drug tests when it has “reasonable suspicion.” Meaning if NASCAR doesn’t think you’re on drugs – performance-enhancing or otherwise, you don’t get tested.

Nextel Cup drivers Kevin Harvick and Jeff Burton have both challenged this stance, saying NASCAR needs to randomly test every driver in its three national touring divisions – Craftsman Trucks, Busch Grand National and Nextel Cup Series – rather than the current policy.

NASCAR, in its “infinite wisdom,” disagrees, saying the policy in effect is sufficient.

I’m sorry, but didn’t Major League Baseball say much the same thing when the issue of steroids came up? That it wasn’t really a problem and things were fine the way they were? Bud Selig was in denial right up until the day Congress came knocking on his door; only then did he do something about it.

If I’m NASCAR chairman Brian France or president Mike Helton, I listen to what Harvick and Burton have to say. Don’t assume your sport doesn’t have a drug problem when in fact it might. And even if it doesn’t, what’s the harm is poking your head in every once in a while without notice to make sure?

NASCAR officials say Harvick and Burton’s problems imply the sport has a problem, a potential reality the sanctioning body apparently refuses to consider. I doubt NASCAR has a drug problem too, but what’s the big deal about instituting a random testing policy? Are you scared of what you might find?

Harvick and Burton are on to something. It’s time someone in charge told NASCAR as such.


Enable Comment Auto-Refresher
WrmjrRed-Shirting
857 days ago
Score 0+-
Yeah, the Briggs situation was the biggest non-surprise of the season. I guess you have to threaten these things--it's all part of the off-season game--but it's a tiresome thing to watch as a fan. Good idea on batting helmets for baseline coaches!
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Brendan.CanneyDiv-I Stud
857 days ago
Score 0+-
Remember when people were saying to trade Donovan McNabb for Lance Briggs straight up....I do.
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JuTMSY4Legend
857 days ago
Score 1+-
Same people who wanted Ricky Williams? Crisis Averted...
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RawbeezeitzMajor Leaguer
857 days ago
Score 0+-
Why is there no drug testing in NASCAR? Because drivers would test positive. NASCAR has built itself on its wholesome, family image, which is centered around its drivers not being like the athletes in other sports. If they instituted drug testing, it truly would imply that there was a problem, and once a few drivers got caught for any sort of drug, the image NASCAR has carefully crafted for itself would be threatened.
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J CunninghamVarsity Captain
857 days ago
Score 0+-
At least with a legitimate policy, though, NASCAR wouldn't look like it has its head in the sand. NASCAR is like MLB in this regard, turning the other cheek and acting like there's no drug problem. We now see MLB dealing with that reality, and I think for NASCAR's sake a policy has to be in place. Let a few morons get caught with something and see if people don't straighten up.
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AesauerSoccer Kid
857 days ago
Score 0+-
NASCAR has built itself on its wholesome, family image...

I'm as much of a fan of the sport as the next guy (erm, girl, I suppose), but thus far this season, I'm challenging the "family friendliness" of the sport. I don't know about you, but I just wouldn't feel safe taking my neice or nephew to a track where we'd have to leave early because of flying beer bottles (and, in one case, an industrial sized roll of toilet paper) careening their way onto the track.

Granted, it seems to have calmed down somewhat now in the second half of the season, but still. Showing pride for your driver and distaste for those you don't like is one thing, but to blatently risk the safety of innocent bystanders? Not cool, chief. Not cool at all.
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J CunninghamVarsity Captain
857 days ago
Score 0+-
Just wait'll Jeff Gordon wins again; then the tossing will begin anew. My biggest fear at the racetrack is seeing a not-so-like driver (Jeff, Jimmie Johnson, Tony Stewart) win a race and hear some of the filth that flies out of the drunken masses' mouths. Homosexual slurs, curse word on top of curse word on top of cursing homosexual slur ... if I'm a parent, I don't want to have to explain to my young child what a certain word someone yelled at the top of their inebriated lungs means. Which is why when a driver I don't like wins a race I'm attending, I just keep my mouth shut or simply boo.
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Anonymous Fanatic #1
857 days ago
Score 1+-
NASCAR does have its own drug testing policy and is implemented when it is believed to be needed. There have been very few drivers ever caught under the influence of any illegal substances in NASCAR does that mean NASCAR is less tainted than that of Major League Baseball, possibly. But I don't see why drivers would need Steroids because all that would do is make them huge and not fit in their specially designed seats. Tyler Walker was asked to leave NASCAR for not passing a drug test. Shane Hmiel was banned indefinitely from the sport because his failure of three drug tests. Kevin Grubb and Brian Rose were also banned from NASCAR for failing these types of tests. In NASCAR the only thing consistent is their drug policy. BELIEVE ME I have been looking for something consistent in NASCAR this year and I find it depressing that it is the DRUG POLICY of all things. NASCARs image on the other hand I believe changes when they get a new sponsor. NASCAR used to be sponsored by Winston and have the Winston cup, legislation from the government in the mid ninety's banned cigarettes commercials from TV and this hurt NASCARS image because they were sponsored by ..... CIGARETTES. Now that NASCAR has a Nextel sponsor the demographic of a NASCAR fan has changed, the demographic now appeals to more of mainstream and younger culture. 15 years ago if you went to New York City and asked a citizen who their favorite driver was they would say first get out of my face but then they would say either what is NASCAR or they didn't watch it. Not bashing on people who live there it was just the first place that I thought of. If any one is offended I am sorry. Now if you go to anywhere in the country and ask a person if they know the like of Jimmie Johnson, JR., Gordon all these names are now visible because of sponsors. Sponsors can place their drivers on TV and also can show their brand name now that NASCAR has switched a lot of sponsors on cars and the main sponsor for the series. Nextel is a nation wide company and you cannot walk in to a Nextel store and not see anything that doesn't have NASCAR linked to it etc.
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J CunninghamVarsity Captain
857 days ago
Score 1+-
NASCAR has a drug-testing policy; it's just not a very good one (which was the point of INC #4). Oh, and welcome to Armchair, Kenny Walker. You will enjoy your stay, or I shall have to do my thing. :P
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JamelAll-American
857 days ago
Score 0+-
NASCAR has a drug policy??? I say you should get some extra points or have to drive a few less laps if you are drunk or stoned-
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K WalkerSoccer Kid
857 days ago
Score 0+-
Hey J Cunningham I wrote that up under anonymous i didnt have an account then and i have one now for this reason
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