Incredibly Novel Concepts, Vol. III
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by user J Cunningham
And on the seventh game, in the ninth inning, Willie Randolph said, "Let there be Heilman," and he thought that it would be good. And yea, it was good -- for Yadier Molina, he of the meek bat who with one swing inherited the World Series for his Cardinal brethren.
And Mets fans, they did grieve. And boo. And wondered why Billy Wagner hadn't been brought in to pitch the ninth. After all, it wasn't as if So Taguchi was at the plate or anything...
You know what time is, kiddies...time for more...
Incredibly Novel Concepts!!!
INC #1: If you're going to allegedly stab your teammate over a starting spot on a college football team, shouldn't it be for a position more valuable than...punter?
Ya know, like quarterback.
That's exactly what happened at the University of Northern Colorado in September, when backup punter Mitchell Cozad allegedly stabbed starter Rafael Mendoze in the leg.
A punter...stabbing another...over a starting spot...on a no-name college football team. Forget the Nancy Kerrigan-Tonya Harding comparisons; this is definitively more asanine.
At least there was a potential gold medal on the line with the skating ladies.
INC #2: If college basketball recruiting practices keep the way they are, Dick Vitale's "Diaper Dandy" might not be that much of a stretch.
By now you've probably heard how USC offered a scholarship to a 6-foot-6, 14-year-old Dwayne Polee, Jr. Polee, a freshman at Westchester High School, has yet to play a high school game, yet has verbally accepted USC coach Tim Floyd's scholarship offer.
While the commitment is verbal and thus not binding, shouldn't the school at least wait until they've actually seen this kid play on the high school level before recruiting him?
Waiting until his junior year, as per NCAA guidelines, would also be a good idea.
What's next? Some NBA club drafting some kid out of the fifth grade?
INC #3: Lou Piniella swears he's going to win with the Chicago Cubs. I can't help but wonder how.
Let's say, for the sake of argument, Piniella does manage to lure Alex Rodriguez to the Windy City. Or maybe Alfonso Soriano, or any other of a number of high-profile free agents. That still doesn't address the Cubs' most serious problem: poor bullpen arms and two stud starters who can't stay off the disabled list.
A-Rod and Soriano would sure up a putrid offense (well, putrid without Derrek Lee, anyway), but as long as Mark Prior and Kerry Wood are eating up Tribune Company cash, the Cubs will continue to flounder. The Cubs need to cut their losses with these two, let them to try to get a freh start somewhere else, and focus their attention on ace Carlos Zambrano and other starters.
A reliable leadoff hitter would be nice, too. Oh, and before i forget...stop blaming Bartman for missing the 2003 World Series. It's not his fault Alex Gonzalez booted an easy grounder later in the inning or the team couldn't win the next two games of the series.
