If You’re in Vegas, You Better Watch Your Ace, Jack…Joey Porter Might Be Near?
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by user LastRow
Joey Porter is never at a loss for words. Any Cincinnati Bengal, well, they’re always up for a good brush with the law....It’s part of the code of conduct! Put this combo together and what does one get? Just the typical, good ole fashion trash talking exchange at the casino blackjack table in Vegas no less which eventually spilled over into the valet parking area. Now unfortunately I’m not an expert in this whole gaming industry...I figured if I’m going to throw money away why not do it a strip club? If you ask me, it’s just a better business decision…Besides, one doesn’t have to really think in these kinds of establishments!
That’s it, perhaps too much thinking was involved. I’m guessing one didn’t know you stay on 17? Or is that, you take a hit on 17…Sorry Joey, that doesn’t mean literally! How about double down or splitting…Apparently the two didn’t know how to do that either. Yes Joey, I say "splitting", but again that doesn’t mean literally splitting Levi Jones’ face open. Look, we all know that you and Jones had a history of on-field trash talking with each other…As the Steelers and Bengals both are in the AFC North rivals, but big Joe you’re a Dolphin now. Remember, they shelled out 30-plus million to get your raving, lunatic ass... and besides, that’s not the Dolphins way of doing things. No, no, instead of choosing to fight their battle at the casino blackjack table, they prefer to throw down at a local retirement center. Of course only the ones in South Beach…For these are very classy! The Palms hotel-casino have nothing on these babies!
Hey Joe, what’s next...A tango at the supermarket with the butcher over which piece of meat is better? I think Peyton knows how to cut meat better than you. Although those turrets like symptoms that he exhibits, I could see where you might have to do your best Mike Tyson impression…You never know what Peyton’s going to do. Since you were in Vegas and wanted to go Mike Tyson on somebody, hell why didn’t you just call the man himself? I hear Vegas loves him! Take on him and his fleet of safari animals! Last I heard, Iron Mike was kicking around the idea of fighting girls…And is it just me, but southpawing somebody at a casino, well isn’t that how cat fights start? I’m just guessing here, but somehow I think you can kiss goodbye appearing on Battle of the Gridiron Stars this off-season…I don’t think you fit the Disney mold. God forbid if somebody tags you during paintball! We just might have to rename it Paintball Extreme, in your honor of course. You on the water, either on a jetski or in a canoe, well lets just say that assault with a watercraft doesn’t really fit that whole "Happiest Place on Earth" theme, now does it
I suppose later this week so you might have a chance to make a cameo on the show we’ll get the annual "Joey Porter Apology", but not really an apology. I can just hear it now, it will go a little something like this. "I’d like to apologize to those who I may have offended at the Palms hotel-casino who saw me slip the jab to Levi Jones…For I’m truly sorry! However, I’m not sorry for jacking Levi upside the head…For he had it coming! Nobody messes with Joey Porter...Nobody! I’m just sorry to those people I may have offended…I just meant to offend him!" Gee, aren’t you a swell guy! Always holding yourself accountable for your actions!
Perhaps Roger Godell should really look into the realm of possibilities of putting a NFL franchise in Las Vegas, since in less than a month the NFL players have definitely shown that what happens in Vegas makes national headlines as far as the league is concerned. With all this free exposure, who would need a marketing department? As long as the team would have Joey Porter & Pacman Jones, hell, that’s all they would need! And relocate the Cincinnati Bengals to Sin City and rename them the Jokers…Now that’s a perfect fit! Can anything get better than this? Although, it should be worth noting that surprisingly enough Pacman wasn’t involved in this incident. That should be good news for the Titans brass…On second thought, it might be bad?
LastRowSports.com
