I Had to Break My TV this Morning (my computer might be next!!!)
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I can't stand it.
Over and over blah-blah-blah.
Due to a previously planned camping trip, I was far away from civilization and without an internet connection (gasp!) because we left the laptop at home on purpose. I finally returned to the sharpless pointiless rockless comfort of my bed and the warm glowing warming glow of television to get me back "in the loop".
I was like a heroin junkie about to score after a recent stay in rehab. I needed to find out what happened in the Sports World! Did the Rockies win A game? Oooh! I hope the Patriots lost! I had to be plugged back into the sports machine!!! I needed... just... another.. fix...
My worst nightmare had come to fruition. Ugh!
It was like a bag of junk instead of the Gates of Golden Dream. Endless babbling. Change the channel; same thing! I couldn't fight through the power of the media's vexing rays.
I was spinning, losing equilibrium... I was falling into a trance! Blah-blah-blah... I thought I had accidentally ate a packet of gravy I found, but no... I had just awoken. I had no time for an early morning gravy packet hunt! There was something going wrong!
The TV was blaring words over and over - a city's name - repeated like as Songs on High adorning the Angels Who Sing to the Souls upon entering... Holy fack! I was dying!
I had to do something but I could barely feel my limbs, my hearing was overwhelmed by the blah-blah-blah and my vision appeared as if through the cardboard rolls from the center of paper towels.
I felt in my arm the television's remote control so I flung it with all mine might and smote the beast. It needed to be silenced in order for me to survive it's intoxicating trance!
"Smaarsrrasashhhhhhh!!! jingle, jingle crunch..." said the crumbling of shattered glass.
There was a hiss and a pop and a small squelch; a faintly uttered "I'm your best friend, how could you kill me?" coming from the Univesal Remote I had chosen as my death spear.
It was over. My senses returned, I stood up and wondered aloud "What the fack was that?"
My 2 year old son has been saying "Yankees? What the fack?" all day and my 4 year old daughter has asked me 1,000 questions about New York...
They just kept talking about New York, New York, New York... I never did find out what the score to the Pats game was! But I heard about the Jets, go figure...
Here's some pix of the camping trip!
So, Boston - You got swept under the rug again
Steinbrenner is the devil himself, I have more proof than ever. The day I should be getting nauseous of hearing the "Red Sox are a Dynasty!" bullship, shredding my eyes with a cheesegrater over the oral that the Patriots are getting, or the "This is one of the best sports moments EVER" yapping about BC's desparate comeback game. And I learn all about Joe Girardi and Alex Rodriguez.
Hold on, I'm getting Breaking News alerts - "New York muscles Boston stories out of the way"...
You are New York's little sister, Boston
The one that puts out to much then wants credit for acting good when the rest of it call it "acting like you've been there". I say that because half of you Red Sox fans don't remember the last Red Sox championship...
The New York media did the right thing. They readjusted the kharmic balance of things. Put a beat down on your beat. I still haven't seen or heard anything Boston themed today... but I am going TV shopping now, so there's a chance!
(Yes, I have other TV's to watch, but why break two?)
News flash: The world revolves around New York and you know it
Congrats, Boston. Manny Stiles never really hated you. He just wanted a team I liked to win (read: I don't care for the Rockies either). Like Manny says "It's not the end of the world". And he still hates the Yankees.
