I'm Going Christmas Shopping
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From: http://afraidofedhochuli.blogspot.com
The Holidays are here so it is time for me to do a few things:
•1) Get angry because Thanksgiving hasn’t even happened and I am being bombarded with ads for Christmas
•2) Start eating the candy left-over for Halloween so I can justify the inevitable weight gain.
•3) Stock up on Henley’s and hooded sweatshirts, because they are everywhere now and will disappear soon.
•4) Start trying to enjoy sports like Basketball and Hockey, because Football will be over before you know it and Baseball just ended.
•5) Realize that there is NO WAY on God’s green Earth that I will ever like Basketball or Hockey.
•6) Write some stupid pop-culture article on what movie to get each team in the NFL for Christmas.
In Alphabetical order:
1. Arizona Cardinals - The Great White Hype. ‘Nuff said.
2. Atlanta Falcons – The Graduate ; No, Petrino doesn’t want to get with a younger man, but I’m sure he is eyeing Brohm and drooling. Hopefully Brohm doesn’t like pit bulls.
3. Baltimore Ravens - For the Common Defense!, since their Defense has become just plain old common.
4. Buffalo Bills – The Big Sleep ; what I want to do when they are on TV
5. Carolina Panthers – Apocalypse Now ; starting a rookie? How many QB’s are they going to go through this year?
6. Chicago Bears – Invasion of the Body Snatchers ; what happened to the team that went to the Super Bowl? Oh, right…they hedged their bets on Sexy Rexy
7. Cincinnati Bengals – To Be or Not to Be ; What happened to the great Offense?
8. Cleveland Browns - Rudy, only because of Derek Anderson. Have fun riding the pine, Brady!
9. Dallas Cowboys – Touch of Evil ; something is fishy here…
10. Denver Broncos – MASH ; Someone needs to just attach a hospital to the stadium.
11. Detroit Lions – Miracles Do Happen ; This is what Matt Millen is saying every Sunday.
12. Green Bay Packers - Freaks ; this team shouldn’t be this good. (Honestly, though, this movie is AWESOME!)
13. Houston Texans – Kids ; these kids are the future of this team
14. Indianapolis Colts – Sweet Smell of Success ; They hoisted the trophy, and now they want it again
15. Jacksonville Jaguars –Enigma; aren’t they supposed to be good?
16. Kansas City Chiefs - The Invisible Man, which may end up being the Memoir of L.J.’s 2007 season.
17. Miami Dolphins – Rebel Without a Cause ; I have a feeling it will end the same way as well.
18. Minnesota Vikings – Rocky ; all that can be heard in Minnesota right now is: “Adrian!”
19. New England Patriots – Nixon ; no explanation necessary.
20. New Orleans Saints – Gone with the Wind ; (*UPDATED*) Not because of the terrible disaster that happened to the city, but because the team rode the emotion last year, and this year...well...it is gone. Up in smoke.
21. New York Giants – Metropolis ; Dissention, a crazy leader, and apocalypse talk? Yup sounds like the Giants…or Yankees…
22. New York Jets – Unforgiven ; Who cares if Mangini ratted out Belichick? Bill is still a jerk.
23. Oakland Raiders – Halfway Home ; not because they are close, but because the world doesn’t want these guys on the street.
24. Philadelphia Eagles – Superbad ; ‘Nuff said
25. Pittsburgh Steelers – The Steel Helmet ; so many different levels…”steel curtain”, Ben’s motorcycle…man…awesome.
26. St. Louis Rams – 12 Angry Men ; if you count the coach
27. San Diego Chargers – Chicken Run ; duh.
28. San Francisco 49ers – One Year to Live ; Better watch out Nolan
29. Seattle Seahawks – Shaun of the Dead ; It’s even spelled right.
30. Tampa Bay Buccaneers – Iron Man ; Garcia I am looking at you.
31. Tennessee Titans – The Young Lions ; Should be Young’s Lions, but the point is the same
32. Washington Redskins - The Only Game in Town ; the only reason anyone watches
