Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death…Just Don’t Take My Super Bowl, Goodell!
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by LastRow
At long last, the NFL went to England…And low and behold a mud-wrestling event broke out. Now, I’m all for mud-wrestling, as I’m sure everybody is…However, I don’t know about you, but like my mud wrestling with a blonde bombshell in one corner and a brunette bombshell in another. The notion of watching Eli Manning, Plexiglas Burress, J-Shock, or any of the floundering fish mud-wrestle, well lets just say I’d rather be sitting next to a two ton bitch when the bartender yells "Last Call!", (no preference on the hair color). A late hour wrestling match with her would be a lot more enjoyable than what the NFL displayed in England yesterday! Although, I must say…How appropriate was it to have the Dolphins as one of the participating teams? At least the league got that right! All this was, was a joke!
And now the league wants to bump their lips together about having a Super Bowl over there…Yeah, great idea, jagoffs! Wait, I got a better one! Why don’t we just play the damn World Series there? Makes sense, because nobody gives a shit about it over here anymore! I know this whole England adventure gone bad had one sole purpose in mind…To put more money in the owners pockets. Wow, there’s a concept…It’s one thing to hold exhibition games over in Wembley, it’s another thing to hold regular season games over there, but the Super Bowl…That’s more ludicrous than Pacman Jones impersonating a professional wrestler! Whatever that means? Those pockets in which I speak of…Well, it’s hard to see them getting thicker with a Super Bowl over there!
Last time I checked American football was just that…For America! Just like the concept of soccer in this country…While other countries are yelling "GGGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!", that shit falls on deaf ears over here! Let’s just say some English numbskull gets a bug up his ass and decides to move the Premier Championships, (or whatever the hell they call it) to New York City…Yeah, how good would that go over here? Probably as well as a Miami Dolphin home game! Just as we don’t give a rats ass about futbol…Across the pond, they don’t give a shit about football! All anybody has to do is look at the World League of American Football and NFL Europe…It didn’t fail once, but twice! Anyone can fail fourth grade once, but twice…Well, then something’s seriously wrong! These folks know as much about our game as we do about theirs! What is the league going to do, have about 120 wild robots walking the streets, (i.e. Jason Taylor) so folks know who the hell they are?
A Super Bowl in England would be a worse train wreck than Britney Spears! First of all, nobody would want to go…The event wouldn’t be a money maker as the league suggests! They also said the 90,000 tickets were sold out in 45 minutes…Um yeah, well I watched the game in high definition no less, I saw a lot of empty seats! If that’s true, then I guess Notre Dame isn’t the worst team in the country too, right? And if you think the weather in Miami was bad this past Super Bowl…Well that would be glorious weather across the pond in February! The list can go on and on about the cons of this idea…For they certainly outweigh the pros on this one! Although that two ton bitch we find ourselves sitting next to us at the bar on "Last Call!" outweighs us as well, only difference, we’re able to look through our beer goggles to get past that game!
Speaking of "Last Call!"…I wonder when the game would be played? Primetime in England? Which is 1 p.m. in Frenchlick, IN. Or primetime in Frenchlick? Which is about midnight over there. Oh yeah, let’s not forget the game being surround by sponsorships more so than the game itself and controlling in, it’s a bad business investment for all involved! So then why is Goodell even considering this? If he thought Michael Vick was a thorn in his side, well what would this be? Unlike the NBA, MLB, and NHL…These leagues all have global appeal in some form or another! That’s why we see globalization in them…The NFL is Americas game solely! There’s a reason why the Super Bowl is a national holiday in this country!
For it belongs to solely be played on America turf…Turf that doesn’t resemble Swiss cheese after 60 minutes! Where’s "Tags" when you need him?
