Get Ready for Ridiculous Headlines and Unbridled Enthusiasm
by Editoratlegendofcecilioguante
This originally appeared on my blog, The Legend of Cecilio Guante, on July 27.
[1] "Samkon Gado Poised to Shoulder Load"
Yes, it's that time of year. Celebraaaate...holidddayyy. NFL training camps opened today around this fine country of ours. Halle-freakin-lujah. Can this season get started fast enough?
So, what does it all mean? Very little, in actuality. Aside from the fact that it's that long-awaited time of year when we fans get to start reading our local paper beat writer's training camp reports and favorite team blogs. It's time for the training camp look-ins on ESPN, the more meaninful return of NFL Live and familiar faces like Sal Palontonio and Ed Werder returning to the tube with regularity. It also means the return of Hard Knocks on HBO, a show I've actually enjoyed in the past. This year they're following the Kansas City Chiefs. This means one thing. Unintentional comedy from none other than the Herminator. As a Jet fan, watching will surely bring back memories. " You play to win the game." Wonder if the cameras will catch the outside consultant delivering a lecture to Herm and his staff entitled "Clock Management 101: Understanding Timeout Usage in Professional Football."
More importantly, training camp is a time for absolutely ridiculous hyperbole. Headlines, notes and editorial remarks that you will never hear again and should, for all intents and purposes, completely disregard. Thinks like "Harrington Has Confidence of Atlanta Coaching Staff" and "Gradkowski Could be the Answer for Bucs." "Don't get me wrong, I'm a huge football fan, and part of this process is what makes being a fan so enjoyable. The anticipation. Reading up on every new face, resurrection project and player returning from serious injury. But no matter who your team is, it's utterly predictable. You can likely forecast a handful of quotes you're sure to see over the course of the next three or four weeks. For the green-and-white, it will be things like this:
"Pennington's arm appears stronger than ever in early sessions..."
"TE Baker poised for breakout season..." "Jones sets sights on 2,000-yard season..."
In the past, these things would get me hook-line-and-sinker. I'll still read every headline and lofty promises. But as I advance in age my tendency to get blinded by the hype and start forwarding the latest highlight from the afternoon passing drills is slowly fading.
Now, the excercise is more a matter of embracing the sheer comedy of it all. Particuarly on day one of training camp. Let's step back for a second and think about this one. As rational human beings, not crazed sports fans. A rundown of the facts.
It is the first day of training camp.
These guys are in helmets and (maybe) shoulder pads.
Half of the participants will not be on the team come a few months.
Many have not practiced together in months.
In this context, things like below just kill me. A quick sampling of some of my favorite reports from a quick scour of day one reviews. Don't get me wrong, I applaud their enthusiasm...but, admittedly, I'm chuckling a bit...these are real quotes.
"Stanton's First Day is Cause for Encouragement." ( MLive) This was a full column. What did Stanton do exactly? On day ONE? Not fumble any snaps from center? Also, doesn't the mere fact that Lions fans are commenting sort of make you feel bad. It's like those D-Rays bloggers. That's what being a true fan is all about, though. Seeing that you're heading straight for a cliff, but holding on to the hope you can make that last-second turn even though gravity, science and team history all indicate otherwise... ' '
"He looked OK in this morning's practice, looked good on the pass protection drill against the linebackers."( Pittsburgh Post-Gazette)
This was in the context of a live chat where a fan asked how Kevan Barlow looked at Steelers camp. Now, granted, the guy needs to answer the question, but are you serious? He looked good in pass protection? In a half-pad practice? Oh, and by the way, I got to watch a lot of Kevan Barlow during the Jets 2006 campaign. He's not good at anything. Not good. Not OK. Not serviceable. AW-ful. ' '
"Was very impressive. Played very well in Europe, and now he’s translating that to training camp. Once again, outplayed Tom Malone. (although he didn’t miss one pressure kick last year)." ( Patriotsblog.net)
This was in reference to punter Danny Baugher. Baugher was cut by the Bengals last year and spent the season on the Pats practice squad. ' '
"David Jones really impressed me today. He is a physical specimen and it looks like he can really run. On one play he stayed stride for stride with Jamal Jones on a go route and broke up the pass. He also had at least two other pass break ups that I can remember." ( Whodatzone)
David Jones is a fifth-round rookie out of Winthrop. Jamal Jones signed a free-agent contract in '06 and did not record a catch last year. He made nine tackles on special teams. Not trying to squash Saints' fans enthusiasm...but just saying...he also looks like he's stoned here.
"TJB’s new favorite Jet, JUAN WONG, good burst on a punt/kick? return." ( The Jets Blog) This is from one of my favorite Jet blogs. This is also the guy I referenced in a post a few weeks ago. We need to settle down about Juan's burst.
' And there are probably so many more. But here's to training camp. To unforgettable seven-on-seven performances, nifty cone drill cuts and great pass protection in half-contact drills. Now, how were the long-snappers is what I'd like to know.
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