Friday Fryer (September 7, 2007)
by Christof
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A look at the sports week's biggest losers…
by Christof
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Welcome to the firstFriday Fryer of September, where we take a look at who was the sports world's biggest idiot this week. Baseball’s regular season is lurching toward its conclusion. College football and the NFL began their regular seasons this week. Hence, candidates for the Friday Fryer Chair are lining up as quickly as I can type! So without further ado, let’s go take a look at our three finalists and, of course, the person or team who is being dipped into the Fryer....
THE FINALISTS
| The Philadelphia Phillies
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| Last week, the Phillies swept the New York Mets in a four game series. Since then, the Phillies have gone 2-6. This includes losing a series to both the Florida Marlins and Atlanta Braves. The losing continued tonight, as the Phillies lost to the Fish yet again.
The Phillies are now dead team playing…playing out the 2007 season. Forget about the playoffs. With the pitching staff at Single A level now, a .500 record may not even be possible.
The streak without playoffs is now up to 14 years with the Phillies. Maybe this will earn them the Friday Fryer Chair later this month, when the club is officially eliminated. But like on the field, the Phillies came up short with the Chair this week.
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| Rick Ankiel and Troy Glaus
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| The Great Steroid Era in baseball has ended. It lasted from the early 90’s through 2004. Maybe people laughed when Jose Canceso said that most MLB players were on the juice. Sadly the laughing may be becoming the reality.
Today, both Rick Ankiel and Troy Glaus have been publicly linked to an illegal Florida pharmacy. It is being alleged that both players obtained the drug HGH from this joint. It is also true that at the time the drugs were required, MLB did not officially ban HGH.
But does it really matter if MLB officially banned it or not? HGH is a performance-enhancing drug. By taking it, you create an unleveled playing field. You make a mockery of the record book. And lets face it, the record book is critical to maintain interest in the game of baseball.
This story is going to get a lot worse before it ends. Shame on ALL for cheating. Nonetheless, both Ankiel and Gluas, for being linked publicly to cheating, earn Friday Fryer nominations this week.
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| The New Orleans Saints
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HELP!
This is no longer 2006! Welcome to 2007! The Saints may be back to being the Saints of yester-year. This means that they are going to suck and suck badly.
The NFL regular season started yesterday. The Saints played the Colts. Actually, it was more like the Colts whipped and abused the Saints. The final score was 41-10. In reality, the score does not indicate how badly the Saints were outplayed.
It is true that the Saints played the defending Super Bowl champions at their home. But come on now. The Colts have no defense. They didn’t have a defense when they won it all last year. Yet the Saints could only score three points offensive? That fact tells you something about the Saints. And it is not good.
The Saints were the feel good story of the NFL last year. They are not going to be the feel good story this year. For this, the Saints get a Friday Fryer nomination!
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AND THE LOSER IS . . .
| The University of Michigan Football Program
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| Say it ain’t so! Please tell me that Michigan did not lose a game! Please don’t tell me that it was a home game! Please tell me that it was not against a Division I-AA opponent!
Unfortunately, I cannot tell you the above, for Michigan did lose a game at the Big House to an I-AA opponent. It is true that Appalachian State is the two-time defending I-AA champion. Nevertheless, a supposedly top 5 team should now lose to such a team.
Speaking of which, this game clearly shows how utterly stupid these pre-season polls are. These polls are not based on team performance. They are based on hype, hype, and more hype. The better the school’s marketing department, the higher the rank! Just plain stupid is my response to this.
Since I-A football does not have a playoff system, Michigan is officially out of the national championship hunt. This is another problem. How can you lose a game the first week in September and then have no chance of winning the national championship? Only in I-A football.
So like the Phillies, Michigan’s football season is over. Michigan does earn the Chair for having this happen to them. They won’t , however, be the last team to be in this situation.
Until next Friday, AMF!
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