Friday Fryer (September 28, 2006)

It is Friday night in the eastern part of the United States, so this becomes the first “late-night” edition of the Friday Fryer. Lets see who gets nominated and who ultimately gets the Chair!

First nominee is Terrell Owens of the Dallas Cowboys. Mr. Owen, you do not get the chair for that situation with the pills this week. Instead, this is a request for you to seek mental health help. You sir, have some serious emotional issues that are getting worse. Before you do something that is truly stupid and / or permanent: GET HELP.

For those who have seen the movie, The Last Boyscout, do you remember the opening scene of that movie? This is, my friends, how I think T.O. will end his career and life. I truly hope that I am wrong.

Moving on. . .

The next nominee is Cincinnati Bengals linebacker Odell Thruman. In the Year of the Arrested Player, Mr. Thurman is a repeat offender. This time, he was busted for driving under the influence. His excuse was that he was the most sober of the bunch. The NFL did not buy this excuse any more than the police, and suspended Thurman for the remainder of the year – he was already suspended for the first four games of the season.

The prison team that is the Bengal has talent. Sadly, most of them will be in the state pen before the end of the season and will not be able to compete. So enjoy the wins now, because they will not be coming in December and January.

And now on the winner, which is

All teams in the National League. Lets see, only one team, the New York Mets in the NL will win more than 90 games this season. Mind you, the Mets have no pitching. Nice lineup, but no pitching. Moving on, you have the St. Louis Cardinals, who are staging a great rendition of the 1964 Philadelphia Phillies. This collapse, my friends, may be worse than the one the Phils went through in ’64. Oh yeah, and the Phillies, the 2006 version, choked in the Wild Card race yet again.

Anyway, this is the weakest that I have ever seen the NL. No team, including the Mets, have a prayer of winning the World Series this year. Heck, I wonder if they have a prayer of even winning a game in the Series. And for that, the National League gets the Chair this week.

Before I say goodnight, I would like to note that the Friday Fryer is getting upgraded! Yes, my loyal readers, the great DNL has added some graphical wonders, which will be on display for the first time next week!

Until then, AMF!