Friday Fryer (October 6, 2006)
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a look at the sports week's biggest losers
by Christof
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Welcome to another edition of the Friday Fryer, where we take a look at who was the sports' world's biggest idiot this week. Without further ado, let's go take at our three finalists and, of course, the person or team being dipped into the Fryer....
THE FINALISTS
| Welcome to the New Friday Fryer Format!
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| Good Friday afternoon, folks! I do hope you like changes. Special thanks to DNL for his assitance! (Edit: This is a good thing, not a real nominee! --DNL 15:35, 6 October 2006 (EST))
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| The Professional Athlete Ridin' Dirty
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| The first nominee for the Friday Fryer Chair is the Professional Athlete who gets busted for driving under the influence. This week, we had two NFL players added to the list of arrested players. Both for DUI. I mean, come on guys. You are making millions. You can afford the $20 cab ride. Your arrogance will cost someone their life, and the rest of us, a reason to watch professional sports.
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| Philadelphia Professional Teams
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| The second nominee for this week’s Chair are the four professional sports franchises in the City of Philadelphia. The last championship this city has seen won a major pro team was in 1983, by the Philadelphia 76ers. Mind you, this is the same organization that just LOSS an exhibition game to a Spanish team.
For those who have hope riding on the Philadelphia Flyers, forget about it. When you start the regular season with a 4-0 shutout loss to those mighty Pittsburgh Penguins, you know this is going to be a long season. The Flyers have no team speed. GM Bobby Clarke still believes that the pre-lockout NHL style of play is still being played. Yo Bobby, either adapt to the new NHL or retire.
Next, we got the Philadelphia Phillies. The only thing I will say about them is that the Phils have not made the playoffs since 1993, and could not make it this year, where the level of play in the NL has been at its lowest in decades.
And the Philadelphia Eagles? They have some talent, but their secondary is filled with midgets who cannot keep up with the big wideouts of the NFL. Also, Brian Westbrook cannot stay healthy. This team is not going anywhere this season.
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AND THE LOSER IS . . .
| Albert "Da Stomper" Haynesworth
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| The winner for the Chair this week is none other than Tennessee Titans defensive tackle Albert Haynesworth. Haynesworth earns this award for deciding to stomp on the unprotected head of the Dallas Cowboys center last Sunday. The stomp caused the Cowboys center to get 30 sticthes, and earned Haynesworth a five game suspension by the NFL. Personally, Haynesworth should be thrown out of the league. But since that will not occur, he gets the Friday Fryer Chair.
I hope you all like the new format of the Friday Fryer. Until next Friday, AMF!
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