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Friday Fryer (November 17, 2006)

11
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by user Christof

a look at the sports week's biggest losers
by Christof

Welcome to the mid evening edition of the Friday Fryer, where we take a look at who was the sports' world's biggest idiot this week. Without further ado, let's go take at our three finalists and, of course, the person or team being dipped into the Fryer....


THE FINALISTS
Boston Red Sox
The Red Sox just spent $51 million dollars for the right to speak to a pitcher who has never pitched a single ball in the major leagues. You read right, $51 million just for the RIGHT to talk contract with a pitcher who has never appeared in a single MLB game. This is just stupid.

I realize that pitching is at a premium in baseball today. But giving up $51 million just to have the right to talk contract with a guy is just insane. There are no assurances that this pitcher will sign. There are no assurances that this guy will be any good in MLB/ Does anyone know how this guy will take the pressure that will come along with just a stupid deal. Or how this pitcher will handle the American culture.

But hey, I guess this is only money. The Red Sox also won a championship in 2004, so they are not do again for 80 years. Anyway, for this move, the Boston Red Sox gets a nomination for this week Friday Fryer!

 
Florida State
Florida State has been a powerhouse in Division I-A football since head coach Bobby Bowden came on board in 1976. These past few years, however, have not been very good as compared to the standard set for Florida State in the 1990’s. So there has been much talk about Bobby Bowden being forced out, even though he has the most wins of any Division I-A coach.

The offensive coordinator these past few years for Florida State has been Bowden’s youngest son, Jeff. He has become the whipping boy for everything that is wrong with Florida State football, and calls for his firing have become rampant.

For many, young Bowden’s resignation this week, effective after this year, is not a Chair-deserving nomination. To that, I agree you. What is Friday Fryer worthy is the buyout that young Bowden got. Yes, for resigning his post when his contract ends in August, young Bowden will be paid several hundred thousands dollars for the next few years. Where is the money coming from? Well, it is coming from concession sales at Florida State games.

Folks, we speak about student-athletes and that college football is just about the game. It is bad enough that there is no playoff because the big college football conferences are greedy for the almighty dollar. However, when you buyout the coach’s son for the next few years and pay for it from coke sales at the stadium, there is something serious wrong.

Unfortunately, a massive scandal will have to first occur before the swamp is drained. Until, acts of stupidity, such as this, get the nomination for the weekly Chair.

 
Arizona Cardinals
Last week I ripped the Oakland Raiders for pretending to be an NFL team. This week, I take a swing at the great Cardinals team – you know, the team known as the carcasses of the desert. Paraphrasing Dennis Green, this team plays like “bulls--t, bulls—t.”

The Cardinals once played in Chicago, before moving to St. Louis, and then onto Phoenix. Actually, playing is not the right term. Showing up and stealing money is more like this!

What this team needs is new ownership. The Bidwell clan, which has owned this team forever, has done nothing to win. They have, however, made sure to make millions for themselves.

For the Arizona Cardinals fans, the five or six of you, I fee your pain. But hey, at least your team gets the host the Super Bowl in 2008. Sure you may never see your team play in it, but, at least, you can say you hosted one.


AND THE LOSER IS . . .


Levitra, Cialis and Viagra Commercials

The winners of this week’s chair are all commercials during sporting events that advertise pills for guys with erection problems. Settling in my seat at the Linc last Sunday, right before kickoff of the Eagles-Redskins game, I turn to the big video screen to my right and see. . . a Levitra commercial! That was my breaking point.

Over the last few years, nearly every sporting event has had a Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra ad shown during it. How many of you have sat down for the game to begin, with a hoagie in one hand and you favorite cold drink in the other, and instead of hearing about the game, you hear about a pill that gives one an erection for 48 hours – though if it lasts longer, you must see your doctor.

Look, I do not want to know about a guy having problem sporting wood. It is my none of my business. And I am sure it is none of yours either. So why have these commercials now? It isn’t like the doctors do not know about these pills. And from all of the publicity over them, I doubt that few guys do not know about them. So, please, TAKE THEM OFF!

Sadly, these commercials will continue on, pounding the poor sports fan with information we do not want to know. And for that, these commercials get the Friday Fryer Chair.

Until next Friday, AMF!

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The sharkDraft Pick
1113 days ago
Score 2+-
What!?! Absolutely no mention of OJ Simpson!?! How on earth does that happen. You may be losing your edge, Christof... ...but still, my favorite recurring article. You get a pass.
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False ProphetAll-Star
1113 days ago
Score 2+-
I guess no one watched the WBC. Matsuzaka was the Ace on the Winning team!!! He has pitched against MLB Players, but he hasn't pitchedin an MLB game. SO WHAT!!! This kid had several teams bidding for him, and while teams are wrong, I don't think that several teams, and the Media can be all wrong.
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