Friday Fryer (May 25, 2007)

Yeah, yeah Duncan stepped on the floor too. Waaa. One game does not lose a seven game series. They got beat by a better team and nothing's changing it. Yes, it sucks. The Suns didn't need the Hawks pick at #4, so stop crying about that too. The Suns still have picks, youth and assets to move on their side. Let's just see what owner Robert Sarver is really made of...

Losing really heartbreakingly (more like nutkickingly) three years in a row is the kind of thing that builds Championship teams, afterall.

So get out of the Sun, get a cool beverage and act a little Shady; please shut up, pleas shut up, please shut up!

I can't wait 'til you come back and get healthy and have your career defining game in a win over the Yankees ending their season. Irony is funny like that.

BUT, you helped perpetuate the Milano Curse, damn you! That's reason enough to fry you, but we'll chuck you in for not being infectious to the rest of the Yankee staff and for not being worth a crap to the game of baseball (Ha ha Yankees!!)... at least we'll get one crispy wing out of you!

Let me see what else we can chuck in here...

• Manny Stiles - I wanted to be a two-time nominee! Plus, I had it coming... Vwoom! Up in oily smoke!
• Roger Clemens - Go away already! Seriously. Sizzle!
• Barry Bonds - You did nothing controversial this week, Barry. What's up? Fry for it!
• Elijah Dukes - don't threaten to kill your dawg and two of your kids. Here's hoping it was just off the cuff and not a sign of more serious issues. (He HR'd tonight in his return to play)... bubblin'
• Rafael Nadal - How could you let that chump Federer beat you on clay? Plop!
• Tim McCarver, Joe Morgan, Jim Rome, Skip Bayless, Chris Berman, Bob Ryan and Woody Paige - for not having well organized detractors when clearly they are very worthy... boily oily!
• Cycling - you're a mess... splash!
• The entire Philadelphia Sports scene - Somehow, we'll get it all in there so Christof can re-fry whatever he chooses next week! kersplash!
• Jason Giambi - For not knowing how to lay low... doink!
• NBA - just go to top 16 format. The four best teams in the league (West teams) shouldn't beat each other for the right to play the 7th best (at best) team in the league (East Champ). The time has come... dip it in there!
• Cancer - recently took the life of Kelly Jo Dowd. Her 13 year old daughter Dakoda got to play in a tournament just a little over a year ago. Manny says "Eff Cancer!"... Fry piggies, fry!
• ArmchairGM.com - for not having a "rough draft" or 'save without posting' feature that would have saved my first attempt earlier today that vamoosed into bolivion when 'Old Trusty' went to the Blue Screen o'Death... or I can fry myself again for refusing to write in Word or some other program and saving often. "I'm a loner Dottie; a rebel..." It's only the 4th article lost in a year, not bad... It's my fault, but in the spirit of blaming people I give you the Loser...

Maybe the restaurant refused to let Hancock leave and force fed him more libations. Maybe they neglected to inform Hancock that drinking and driving is illegal. It's possible that they could have shoved him in his truck, thrown in some empty beer cans and put a brick on the accelerator. Maybe they called his celly while he was driving to distract him. They must be at fault for something.

It reminds me of the Steve "I eat two bottles a day" Bechler. After he (self-inflicted) OD'd on ephedra tablets (while wearing a rubber suit and taking SIX times the recommended dosage), his family took it to Congress to get ephedra banned (and conveniently a hefty settlement). Maybe Mr Hancock can go to Congress and have them make drunk driving illegal... whoops?!?!

Well, the whole family gets chucked in there for not calming Daddy down and stopping him. He is sad because Little Johnny Mealticket is gone. So you get the Montana Tendergroin treatment. Hop in the vat, the Hancocks... no, no... just get in.. get, I said get in... there's a check for you in there, seriously.... there you go!

There! We made it! Manny Stiles signing off. For Christof and the Friday Fryer... keep cool or you might get fried too!

peace and good tidings (oh, yeah..)

Until next Friday, AMF. }