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Friday Fryer (July 13, 2007)

16
Vote

by Christof

A look at the sports week's biggest losers…
by Christof



Welcome to a Friday the 13th edition of the Friday Fryer, where we take a look at who was the sports world's biggest idiot this week. The sports world is truly slow at this time of the year. Yet, by this evening, it was quite difficult to pick the top nominees for the Friday Fryer Chair. Several worthy candidates were cut from the list. Better luck next week, fellas! So without any further delay, let’s go take a look at our three finalists and, of course, the person or team who is being dipped into the Fryer....

THE FINALISTS
Fakhir Brown
Brown is a member of the St. Louis Rams. Today, the NFL suspended Brown for four games for NFL’s substance abuse program. For this, Brown gets a Friday Fryer nomination.

The substance that Brown was busted on was not released. You would think that a guy who has been in the league for seven years would know how the drug testing program works. If you did think that way, Brown just proved you wrong.

The NFL is the best sports league in North America, if not the world. This, however, will not last if its players are busted for drugs or getting arrested for other criminal acts. Maybe it is true – what goes up, must always come down. Fakhir Brown, for his efforts on bringing the NFL down, gets a Friday Fryer nomination this week.

 
Sam Brandon
Sticking about stupid NFL players that are not only embarrassing themselves but tarnishing the league image as well, lets turn our attention to Sam Brandon. Brandon is a safety for the Denver Broncos. He, however, will not be available for the first two games of the season. Why? It is because the NFL suspended him for two games.

Brandon was not suspended for substance abuse. He was suspended because it was determined that Brandon violated the NFL’s Personal Conduct Policy. Brandon did so based on domestic violence arrests from 2004 and 2005. Sure, it is 2007, but the wheels of justice at the NFL move just as fast as the judicial system.

The NFL is two weeks away from the start of training camp. Yet, two Friday Fryer Chair nominations went to players – for actions occurring off of the field. Is this a great omen for the regular season or what?

 
The Tour de France
Does another really care about cycling’s premier race anymore? First, you have the great Lance Armstrong retire after winning seven straight Tours. Second, you have a pre-2006 race doping scandal. This scandal eliminated many of the top contenders from the race. Third, you have the 2006 winner, Floyd Landis supposedly testing positive for steroids after a stage of the Tour. Someone does have to explain to me how steroids in the middle of a cycling event actually helps a cyclist, but that is a story for another time.

So the Tour de France is left in shambles. The 2007 Tour began last Saturday, in England. Six stages have already been completed. Yet, news from the race is rarely discussed in the news. Instead, we get NFL players getting arrested or suspended. Anyway, the current condition of the Tour de France earns it a Friday Fryer Chair nomination. With two weeks of the Tour remaining, there is always a chance of another drug scandal, and with that, another chance at earning the Friday Fryer Chair.

AND THE LOSER IS . . .
The National League All-Stars
MLB held its 78th annual All-Star this past Tuesday in San Francisco. The American League won again. Since 1996, the American League has gone 10-0-1 at the All-Star game. This streak should bring praise to the American League All-Stars, and mockery to the National League ones. Hence, the National League All-Stars get the Friday Fryer Chair this week.

The City of Philadelphia played host to the All-Star game the last time the National League won. So maybe, the Philadelphia curse has been extended to the National League? Who knows. What I do know is that I had just graduated from high school when the National League last won. In two weeks, I will be sitting for the bar exam. It has been that long!

The National League is a mess. I do not see anything changing anytime soon, for the balance of power is clearly in favor of the American League. This is mostly due to the fact that the big spending teams are located in the American League. The National League clubs? They seem more interested in turning a profit than winning games. All of this simply earns the National League, and its All-Stars the Friday Fryer for this week.

Until next Friday, AMF!




Enable Comment Auto-Refresher
RomiezzoLegend
868 days ago
Score 2+-
NL All Stars aren't the Friday Fryer, Christof. I think it's just Tony LaRussa.
Permalink | Reply
ChristofMVP
868 days ago
Score 3+-
0-10-1 since 1996.
Permalink
KelsdadAll-Star
868 days ago
Score 2+-
My world renowned imitation of Karnac the Magnificent...Friday Fryer for next week, in honor of their 10,000 loss....
Permalink | Reply
ChristofMVP
868 days ago
Score 1+-
Why do you think this week's edition came out late on Friday. :) It was ready to roll....
Permalink
KelsdadAll-Star
868 days ago
Score 2+-
I know, gotta be tough not being comfortable with a nine run lead..
Permalink | Reply
ChristofMVP
868 days ago
Score 1+-
Jose Mesa entered the game at one point. That is all that you need to know about my faith in a nine run lead for the Phils.
Permalink
False ProphetAll-Star
868 days ago
Score 2+-
Good work as always, Christof
Permalink | Reply
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