Friday Fryer (August 11, 2006)
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by user Christof
Friday is upon us once again! Weekend is near! And the heat in the eastern United States has gone the way of the Atlanta Braves streak of divisional wins! Now, onto the Friday Fryer! Lets see who is going to get the Chair this week?!
First finalist this week is a former winner, the Cincinnati Bengals organization. Yet, another Bengal was busted by the police this week. I am not kidding, it is a requirement now to have a record for the Bengals to consider you for employment. Eagles Scouts DO NOT apply! This team, which only last year, had a promising future, is now on path to complete destruction. In the Year of the Arrested Player, this team wins the team competition category. Reward - chasity belts - specially designed for prison.
Next finalist this week is the NFL. First, why is the pre-season still 4 games long? There is NO need for a 4 game pre-season any longer. Players work out year round, they don't need to get in shape for the coming season. Simply put - the NFL is just screwing the season ticket holders (of which I am one) out of money. The NFL charges the same price for admission to a pre-season game as they do for a regular season game. Yet, we get to see the starters for how many plays. Let me go get an overpriced hotdog - oh joy - I missed the starters for this week's game. But I least I get to see future truckers ad grocery store baggers giving football one final shot. . . .Nice job, NFL.
Second, the preseasons schedule. Lets, for example, look at the Philadelphia Eagles pre-season schedule. Play, Sunday, August 6th, at night. Next game, August 10th, at night. Rest between games: 3 days. Oh yeah, this secod game is going to be played well.
The NFL deserves the Friday Fryer Chair and it will get it before this month is out, however, a certain former NFLer deserves it more this week.
Hence the sportsman who is going to the Chair this week is none other than:
Mr. Clarett, who had only one good season at Ohio State before getting kicked out of school, is back in trouble again. When Clarett was tossed to the waste side by OSU, he decided to try and enter the draft early. Challenged the NFL Draft in court. AND LOST. Hence, he missed another year of football.
Came back the next year, got drafted in the third round by the Denver Broncos - then got cut in pre-season due to several issues.
Now, the fun really begins, for Clarett starts getting in trouble with the law. First, armed robbery. Now, this week, the police catch him driving around in alcohol and an aresenal that would make Rambo blush. Good news is: Maurice Clarett bail has been set at over $6 million for his arrest this week. Tis is good, because Maurice Clarett does not have that kind of money.
So he will be sitting in jail for a long time. This means the streets will be a little safer for a little while.
But do not shed a tear for Maurice Clarett. He is in jail in Ohio. Soon, he will have a Bengal to keep him company in the pokey.
Until next Friday, keep it dry!
Date
Fri 08/11/06, 5:12 am EST
