Fear the Buckeye: Greg Oden and Ohio State Basketball
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by user Josh Q. Public
Josh Q. Public: Man-child, he will make you cry. Man-child, man-child, man-child. He’s the apple of your eye.
Public Service Announcement:
OK, here we go! I said fear the Hoya. I said fear the Turtle. I said fear the Bruin. I said fear the Panther. Face it, I say a lot of things. But now I mean it. For really real this time. Fear the Buckeye bitch! I finally got to see the kid play. Goodness gracious me oh my-oh! Look what’s cookin in Ohio! If this cat stays healthy, they don’t lose a game. If this cat stays healthy, he wins NBA championship after NBA championship. Premature? Maybe. But I’m going to my media assassin, Harry Allen, I gotta ask him. Yo Harry, you’re a writer, is he that type? You best believe the hype! Flavor Flav style. 23 little minutes against Valpro. That’s all I needed to see. Just one lookie. That’s all it tookie. 23 little minutes. 23 little minutes and 14 points. 23 little minutes and 10 huge boards. 23 minutes and 5 nasty blocks. Bill Russell blocks. Blocks his own team took control of. This kid plays very, very smart. A regular Einstein. The wait sure was worth it. Wasn’t it? Huh? Wasn’t it? Dickie V thinks so. He says this diaper dandy is the best big man in college basketball in the last thirty years. I tend to agree. The Colossal-O swats one back. Not in my hizzy. The Colossal-O hustles down the floor. The Colossal-O gets it back for two. The Colossal-O gets a standing-O. The Colossal-O gets a standing-O for two consecutive rejections. You don’t think this kid’s the real deal? Think again tough guy. He played the game in a cast. Jack Youngblood style. He played the game with only one hand, his off hand. He played the game with only his off hand and still dominated. So know this sports fans. Know that from here on in, everybody else is playing for second. Saddle your ponies, you bet!
