FatMan's Picks - Week 15

by FatMan

PERFECTION!!! As soon as the final gun sounded to end the Saints-Falcons game, I heard music. While it vaguely sounded like music strippers would dance to in a seedy urban gentlemen's club, to me it sounded like Beethoven, Mozart and Bach all rolled up into one. Through the darkness, light shone down and a golden halo was placed onto my head. 16-0!!! 16-0!!! 16-0!!! Boo-Ya!

While I should spend the entire sheet gloating, I won't do that, it would just be overkill. Let's just say that 10 straight weeks over .500 against the spread and now I'm 55% in that department. Also, the Best Bets are up to $250 positive for the year. No great shakes, but it is still money!! If only the year had gotten off to a faster start...... Without any further pats on the back - Let's Go To The Sheet!!

WEEK 15:

Denver at Houston (Pick) - Straight up call. These are the games I like to pick. Houston is solid as of late, but I have to give the nod to Denver who still has an outside shot at the postseason and has a QB starting to play really well.The Broncs will be pulling hard for Buffalo on Sunday. BRONCOS 28-17.

Cincinnati at San Francisco (+8.5) - The Niners have packed it in, and I don't mean in the traditional San Fran way. They've given up. The QB is fighting with the coach, and I don't think it is over his Sunday suit selection. This team is starting to make the Bengals look like a close-knit brotherhood of affection. BENGALS 27-10.

Baltimore at Miami (+3.5) - Miami is another team that has quit. But Baltimore is still crushed from their loss to the Pats. If Miami is to get a win, this would be the week, but they haven't even stayed competitive with the Jets and Bills. Call me crazy, but the monkey goes flying off the back this week. Upset Special! DOLPHINS 16-13.

Buffalo at Cleveland (-5.5) - The Battle of the Underdogs! I think this game will come down to the final gun. The Browns will be lining up for a 40-yard FG, and this time - - - no controversy over hitting the cross bar. Nothing but net! BROWNS 24-23 (Bills cover)

Philadelphia at Dallas (-10.5) - The Eagles are all but eliminated from playoff contention, their QB is a shell of his former self, the fat bastard on the sidelines has two rogue sons, and even their shit-talking fans were quiet when the game was in the balance last week. They are done. But I think they will stay close on the strength of their D alone. The only remaining question is who will have more dirty hits, Roy Williams or Brian Dawkins? COWBOYS 24-20 (Eagles cover)

Green Bay at St. Louis (+10) - The Rams are not that bad of a team, especially at home. Nevertheless, I can't recommend picking them here, even if they have their spirits bolstered due to Gergia Frontiere kicking the bucket. PACKERS 28-14.

Indianapolis at Oakland (+10.5) - Anthony Gonzalez is coming on like a wildfire in Southern California. Blazing!! Meanwhile, Oakland is so afraid of their own offense, the coach doesn't want to put DeMarcus Russell in for fear of ruining his confidence. Great! COLTS 31-13.

Jets at New England (-23.5) - Mangenius looks like Manidiot this year. Now with spygate factored into the equation Little Bill will show no mercy. The Jets will cover, but there will be no postgame handshake. PATS 27-10 (Jets cover)

Arizona at New Orleans (-3.5) - The Cards on the road are a horrid team. Even in a dome where Warner will have perfect conditions and his fleet WR's can make precise cuts, look for them to stumble and bumble through this one. Hey look - it's another genius - Sean Payton!! We are so quick to build legends up. SAINTS 27-20.

Washington at Giants (-4.5) - The Redskins need this game to save their lives. A win and the Giants clinch a spot. Last week, the dulcid tones of Pat Summerall were once again heard. I was thinking this would be a perfect game for him and Brookshire to do. Then we could place the over/under on the number of times Todd Collins was called Tom at 8. GIANTS 27-17.

Jacksonville at Pittsburgh (-3.5) - The Steelers usually have a tough time with the Jags. And I think that will continue this week. The Jags are going to run, run, and run some more. This will be a vast difference from last week when the Pats threw it 31 straight times, often while winning by three scores. JAGS 20-17.

Detroit at San Diego (-10) - The Lions gave it their all last week and were crushed on the last play. See what that did to Baltimore?? It will do the same here. This one could get ugly. Sandra Bernhardt ugly. CHARGERS 34-14.

Seattle at Carolina (+7.5) - The Panthers are a mess. Now people are even jumping on poor Vinny Testaverde. The guy is 44 and contributed to a couple of wins after being on his couch. And for that, he has to listen to the 12 remaining fans still there in the 3rd quarter boo him. Ouch. I think the best thing that happened to me today was that my tickets to the game were repossessed by my company for clients to use. SEAHAWKS 24-17 (Panthers cover)

Atlanta at Tampa Bay (-11.5) - Man Overboard!!! People are jumping ship from the Falcons like it is the Titanic. How pathetic is Atlanta sports?? Sure, the Braves are competitive, but the Thrashers, Hawks and Falcons are a joke. Did you hear the owner's reaction when Petrino resigned?? He gave a Blank stare!! Ba dum dum. BUCS 31-3.

Tennessee at Kansas City (+4) - The Who Cares Game of the Week. I know it means something to the Titans, but for the rest of us, this will be a gut-wrenching one to take in. This could be more boring than a CSPAN marathon. TITANS 21-6.

Chicago at Minnesota (-10) - Kyle Orton - step right up. And get a haircut and shave ya bum! Looking like Jim Clack went out with Jim Clack, and it wasn't very sightly even then! VIKINGS 24-20 (Bears cover)

BEST BETS:

COLTS

BUCS

CHARGERS

Last Week:

Straight Up: 16-0

Against spread: 12-4

Best Bets: 2-1

Year to Date:

Straight up: 137-71 (.659)

Against Spread: 108-88-12 (.551)

Best Bets: 22-18-2 (.550) (+$250)

Did I mention I was perfect last week? Well let me tell you. I WAS!!! Like Achilles with a good ankle tendon. If only the Steelers could have manned up and stayed with the Pats, I'd have been perfect on Best Bets, too. But alas, some shmuck scrub had to flap his gums and get the Pats all fired up. Fire up the cash flow and remember:

When you Want the Skinny on Picking, Turn to The FatMan

The FatMan has been picking games for the past 15 years with a high rate of success. His blog contains these picks and more at http://fatmanstake.blosgspot.com