Fantasy Blunders, Who Was Yours? Take One
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by LastRow
So week one of the regular season is in the books for 2007 and we all know what that means. It’s time to snap back into reality from our little weekend fantasies. Although ours all began last Thursday when the NFL officially got the party started in Indy. Man, who would’ve ever thought those two words would be mentioned in the same sentence… "Party" & "Indianapolis"? The bad news fellas is that there’s only 16 more weeks to fantasize about Drew Brees, Peyton Manning, and the shit load of other players worth mentioning on your damn fantasy teams.
Now don’t feel bad if you got off to a rough start and are currently up a creek without a paddle…Good news is it’s not a 40-yard dash that you have to run in a sub 4.4 time. It’s a marathon, so the good news is you can make like you’re one of those fat ass, badonka donk butt kids who appeared in Shaq’s Big Challenge and run the mile in a time of four months. And besides, look on the bright side…Only 16 more weeks to listen to the annual "Tony Kornheiser Ho-Hum Lecture surrounding his fantasy team." Although mum was the word last night, so we don’t know who took a shit on him and who performed like they were suppose to…Isn’t that right Steven Jackson? Did T-Korn win or lose? I care about that as much as I want to know the answer to… "When you look into a box of Cheerios, are you looking at Cheerios or doughnut seeds? If you plant them, will they come up glazed or cream-filled?" Perhaps Krispy Kreme can give us the inside information on that.
It goes without saying, if you had the likes of, oh let’s say a Drew Brees, Marques Colston, Stephen Jackson, Lee Evans, so on and so forth and not starting Randy Moss due to his "Hamstring Injury", (some injury)…Chances are you’re looking for new paddles to row your boat with! Um, yeah…Hey varmints, try having three of those fantasy killers on the same team! Yeah, let’s just say that wasn’t a good combo to go to Loss Vegas with! So those nitwits killed me…Let’s see what others blunders did their best bolt impression of week one. Believe me, you’re not alone when that fantasy suddenly became a nightmare!
Brilliant Week One Fantasy Coaching Moves, would have to be as followed…
Start: Patrick Crayton Bench: Randy Moss
Start: Marc Bulger
Bench: Tom Brady
YIKES!
Start: Matt Hasselbeck Bench: Eli Manning
What, Eli got hurt and didn’t play the whole game.
Start: Drew Brees
Bench: Eli Manning
How awesome is that?!?
Start: Oakland D/ST Bench: Green Bay D/ST
Start Matt Schaub over John Kitna…Not too bad Start Drew Brees over John Kitna….DOH
Start McNabb
Bench Romo…A huge gaffe
Benched Burress for week one for Devery Henderson... OUCH!
Benched Calvin Johnson for Isaac Bruce
Have Minnesota D/ST play benchwarmers
Cedric Benson was a real nice play for this week! Um, did he do shit besides taking a shit?
Benched Adrian Peterson and Chris Brown…I smell a big, supersized "L"
Started Thomas Jones and Matt Hasselbeck…Supersize me again!
Now I’m sure there’s a lot more blunders out there worth mentioning, I just…Well, my dome isn’t polished enough to remember exactly all the outstanding general managers decisions out there. So if indeed a screw fell out of my head, please be kind and take it to the lost and found. Because screws fall out all over…The world’s an imperfect place!
