Everyone loves a list!
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by MUDaveFan
This list made us give our computers a Dr. Pepper bukkake!
When we first saw this list, we couldn't help but laugh. Come on, the Dayton freaking Dragons? Who wrote this list? A marketing manager for the Dragons? How much dick did they have to suck for that one? After much thought (like 10 seconds) we decided to take this list and compare each "ticket" to a female movie character.
1.) Detroit Red Wings
Petra from Rounders is like the Red Wings in that she is cold, dark, mysterious, sometimes sexy, and most of all, Russian. Good luck getting into her pants unless you are a high roller...much like getting into a Red Wings playoff game.
2.) Boston Red Sox
Skylaaaaar from Good Will Hunting is the obvious choice. Yes she looked hot at times, but she has an annoying accent like all Bostonians and she is a wet blanket. All Harvard chicks are stuck up and try to change the men in their lives. The Red Sox at times are sexy (ala 2004 and now) but most of the time, they are just wannabes looking for a better life (like being a Yankee fan).
3.) Duke Blue Devils
Gwen in Van Wilder is the choice here because she is innocent, yet at the end of the movie, she shows that she likes to party...much like the Cameron Crazies. Yes at times things can get out of hand for Duke (Lacrosse scandal) but things can get out of hand for Tara too (botched boob job).
4.) Nebraska Cornhuskers
Tammy in Election is the choice here because a.) she lives in Nebraska...like the Cornhuskers, b.) she is obsessed with something she can't have...like a National Championship, and c.) she's ugly...like all Nebraska girls.
5.) Washington Redskins
Mary from There's Something about Mary is the choice here because she is a jock and loves football. Yes we know she loves Joe Montana and dated Brett Faaaaavvvreee, but any chick that loves football gets the nod here. Come on, is there anything sexier than a girl in a small football jersey? And from what we've seen in my trips to the Nation's capital, there are some hotties there!
6.) Denver Broncos
Wendy from South Park: Bigger, Longer, and Uncut is the choice here because she, like everyone else in South Park, worships John Elway. I mean, America is on our country. And if you don't like our country, well then you can get the hell out of the stadium. So go America. Yeah, go America! And go Broncos.
7.) Sacramento Kings
Tai in Clueless is the choice here because the Sacramento Kings are the spitting image of Tai. You are a super dork and you will NEVER be as cool as the Lakers (Cher). Yes, you might get a makeover and become popular (2000 and 2001) but you will always be a dork.
8.) Dallas Mavericks
Diana in Indecent Proposal is the choice here because like all Dallas Maverick fans, she runs toward the rich billionaire. It seems like an innocent affair, but it can get intense. Just when the Dallas fan thinks that they are going to get rewarded for being a slut, they end up losing everything and go back to their loser boyfriend. Dwyane Wade wants you all to know that your tears taste delicious.
9.) Colorado Avalanche
Ruby in Cold Mountain is what we think the typical Avalanche female fan resembles. Actually, we just picture them all to have a Grizzly Adams beard and carry around a rifle at all times. Seriously, if it wasn't for Real World: Denver we would have been very worried for the men of Denver. Get 'er done!
10.) Dayton Dragons
Edna in Hairspray resembles the Dayton Dragons. Fat chicks are like mopeds...they're cool until your friends see you riding one. The Dayton Dragons on this list is like dating a fat chick AND riding a moped. If you want to see a Dayton Dragons game THAT bad, come to Dayton and we will get you a ticket. Getting a ticket to a Dragons game is a guarantee...like going home with the fat chick.
originally posted at http://ifrevonlyhadabrain.blogspot.com/
