Even the Easter Bunny Couldn't Save Tiger Woods
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by user Wildcatmatt
Yes, Tiger Woods is somewhat human. But don't be too hard on the golfing prodigy, because there probably isn't a human alive who could defeat Jesus on Easter Sunday.
After finishing his fourth round of The Masters with a sizable lead, Zach Johnson credited Jesus for the victory, telling CBS cameras that he felt the lord and savior walking with him every step of the way. Yes, because, as usual, Jesus H. Christ had nothing better to do with his Easter Sunday then walk around a golf course in Augusta, Georgia with a bunch of privileged white people playing one of the silliest games ever invented.
Tiger Woods missing tough putts on the back 9 that could've tied him with Johnson is further proof, of course, that God hates cablasians. And God, overall, still really, really despises John Daly.
But we knew that already.
So, to recap, Jesus > Tiger Woods. For now. When Tiger is busy winning the British Open and PGA Championship while Zach Johnson slips back into 63rd place and general obscurity (Mike Weir, anyone?), maybe it's because Jesus is busy helping poor children in Africa. Or something else less important like that. But hey, maybe this year they can hold the Nissan Open on All Saint's Day, just so we know Jesus is paying attention again to Zach Johnson's short game.
