ESPN’s “Who’s Now”…Um, Who Really Gives a Damn!
| 14
|
by user LastRow
Would football please start…Sorry baseball, you just don’t make the blood bubble like Paris Hilton in a jail cell! Or is that on house arrest? Either way, you’re like wallpaper…Just hanging around! Nobody gives a damn! I need a 12 pack of Red Bull just to stay awake and watch an entire game. Tiger Woods even makes golf more exciting than the supposed "national pasttime"…Sporting a knock off of an Under Armour saran wrap. Yes, right about now there isn’t much shit going on in the world of sports! Only so much baseball we can stomach…Only so much Pacman Jones, Cincinnati Bengals arrests & jail reports we can hear. So why not just make something up that will carry the sports nation into training camps in late July?
An idea that was clearly created in the marketing rooms with the likes of both Michael Jordan & Danny Ainge present, ("Hey, they like brackets, they like athletes, let's make something with both of those element for this summer!"), in an effort to artificially manufacture news, ESPN's running a tournament to determine "Who's Now". Couldn’t we just see more episodes of Howie in "Stump the Schaub"? What's the criteria or the logic behind it? Who knows! But they've got legitimate commentators like Mike Wilbon & Kirk Herbstreit, (fashionable highlighters not present) completely selling out and taking it seriously…Once you cross that line guys, there’s no coming back! Just look at who you’re sitting next to…Keyshawn!
The logic…Well, at least Bristol calls it logic.
Throughout the month of July, "SportsCenter" will air "Who's Now," a daily series in which fans and ESPN.com users will help determine the ultimate sports star by considering both on-field success and off-field buzz. Based on fan nominations, ESPN Research will select the 32 finalists, who will then square off in a single-elimination bracket. Before then, however, we need to hear who you think should be in the bracket.
Wow, and we thought the MTV Music/Movies Awards were bad! Although what a great idea…And then after that why don’t they glorify the "Mascot Games" while they’re at it. Make them more like the Olympics. Yeah, something on that level! Isn’t it about time that Stuff, from the Orlando Magic, Klaw from the Orlando Predators, Knightro from the University of Central Florida, The Parrot from the Pittsburgh Pirates, Albert from the University of Florida, Sabretooth from the Buffalo Sabres, Roary from the Detroit Lions, The Gorilla and Lil Red from the Univervisity of Nebraska be mentioned in the same breath as Michael Phelps, or Mary Lou? How about doing a "Mascot Bracket"…Only instead of having it be single elimination, how about double elimination? And why stop there? Why not try to glorify "Homecoming Courts" while you’re at it? You know that old method of prospective candidates having to acquire 50 signatures of being worthy of a homecoming nomination is just played out! Why not attach brackets to them too?
Last year we had something to the extent of College Football Dream Matchups which pitted the best teams in college football history and how they would stack up against each other. That was clearly created from the same market room…One thing for sure, that room is filled with a bunch of dumbasses! Because if they were smart they would know that the only way to "bracket people" is like this… http://msn.foxsports.com/other/story/5422270. Kudos to "The Best Damn Sports Show Period"… And their "Best Damn Hottie" bracketology. Although word has it after "Who’s Now" wraps up…The next thing on ESPN docket is to set up a beauty pageant as well! I just hope they are smart enough to not put Dana Jacobson, Stacey Dales, Bonnie Bernstein and Erin Andrews not in the same bracket…But then again, that’s probably wishful thinking on my part! Or perhaps those will be the names of the four brackets? Which would most certainly rival and be mentioned in the same breath as the MICHAEL JORDAN BRACKET, MUHAMMAD ALI BRACKET, BILLIE JEAN KING BRACKET, BABE RUTH BRACKET!
Funny thing is, the last time I saw a cooperation bracketing human beings, (although it being women, of course which is the right way to do it) was FHM. And where are they now? Strictly an online magazine…No longer publishing their magazines here in the U.S.. Question is why do I care about (3) Kobe Bryant vs (6) Ronaldinho or for that matter any other ridiculousness that goes along with this thing? Now obviously there’s a market for it, it’s called…."Reaching Out to All the Dumbasses that Vote in the All-Star Balloting"...AKA "Dumbasses R Us" Although nothing that’s ever done in Bristol is based on reality! It’s safe to say this is the sports version of National Bingo Night, also part of the ABC Family…Pointless, Absurd, Moronic, Asinine, and any other word anybody would be glad to throw in there!
For more bracket breakdowns… http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=whosnow
