Do You Still Believe in Miracles…The Beavers Finally Won!
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by user LastRow
Just when we think we’ve seen and heard everything in regards to the world of sports, we are proven wrong once again. Case and point…Saturday night up in the Greater Northwest was a prime example of what I’m referring to as somebody besides Terrell Owens showed that he had the dropsy’s. We’ve all seen numerous ways to lose a game, but never, ever saw the way the Dallas Cowboys lost to the Seattle Seahawks. Although, there could be nobody quite like the cerebral players at Caltech who understands the laws of probability better. For I’m going to go out a limb here and say for this small Division III school in suburban Los Angeles they’re most likely the only peeps in the country to see, yet experience, every possible way of losing. And suck!
As backers of our favorite teams, when they lose we feel empty inside…Nothing can ease the pain, well except for a case of your favorite chilled beverage, known as our best friend in life. Sometimes it’s named Bud, sometimes Miller, Coors…Whatever’s the case, (no pun intended) they’re there to console us. Watching our team(s) lose, well, we would rather have our significant other(s) (whichever applies in your case) cheating on us…Depending on how hot she is of course! Now imagine your significant other doing this for the past, oh I don’t know, 10 years…I’m no Dr. Phil here, but that can be good. Speaking of being good how about supporting a team that hasn’t won a game since the Clinton Administration. I know, I know…”Win or Lose, We Still Booze”, but I’ll be honest, I don’t know if I’d be part of the “Caltech Crazies”? Wouldn’t one have to be literally crazy to be part of this bunch? You know that question everybody asks each other about where do they see themselves in ten years…How often is the response, “Finally winning a basketball game?” Just a guess, but not too often I suspect. Shoot, and I thought being a Chicago Bears fan was bad…Now the Cubs, well, that’s a different story!
Coach Roy Dow and his squad of brainy - as opposed to brawny - Beavers beat Bard College of New York 81-52 on Saturday night, ending a mathematically improbable run of 207 consecutive NCAA Division III losses. So with the win Caltech pushes their record to 1-207 in their last 208 NCAA contests, mightily impressive I must say! And to think Art Shell got fired after his first season in Oakland…Where’s the love? Not in Arizona, or Atlanta either. Ten years of nothing but big, fat “L’s”…Hold on, wait a minute, there’s a word coming to mind. Oh yes, LOSERS…Yes indeed, the perfect example! Hell, everybody gets lucky, and it doesn’t take ten years…You’re going to tell me nobody on Caltech’s schedule overlooked them? How is it humanly possible to get all fired up to play a team that hasn’t won a basketball game in ten years? Why even I bet some, or excuse me, a lot of pee-wee teams could beat these impostures of basketball players.
"We expected to win a game, but not like this," Dow said, a bit astounded at the surprisingly easy victory. "It was a combination of a sense of relief and happiness for the kids. They were euphoric," said Dow, in his fifth season as the coach. If that’s not a classic, one for the ages quotes…I don’t know what is? Usually we hear coaches & players say they expected to win this game or that game due to confidence, matchup mismatches, or whatever else they say. When have we heard a coach saying, "We expected to win a game, and then in the same breath he goes on to say “but not like this" all the while a bit astounded at the surprisingly easy victory. Easy huh, easy victory. For a coach to say that whose five-year record at the school has to be something like 1-100 plus loses…That’s just hilarious! Just a question, was the team you beat some kind of blind team?
Although this preposterous story doesn’t end at the 10-year losing streak…No way, Jose. Here's another hard number to fathom: They still have a string of conference defeats dating back almost 22 years. Good to know I was six the last time these “Crazy Brainies” won a conference game! It’s so good to know the last time the Beavers won a conference game, I was four years old. The Reagan, yes I said the Reagan Administration was in charge…Gas was less than a dollar and so on and so forth. So while it was exhilarating to be 1-207 in their last 208 NCAA contests, this team has higher goals…I mean, who wouldn’t, right? The Beavers next hope to end an even longer losing streak, 245 consecutive defeats in Southern California Intercollegiate Athletic Conference play going back almost 22 years. "We still have to get that other streak," Dow said. "It will be difficult. We lost a lot of players from last year's team."
Lost a lot of players from last year? What the hell is that? Um, Coach Dow…You, (not actually yourself, but go with me here) lost a lot of players in the past 22 seasons. Ironically over that stretch, it didn’t really seem too much matter who was on the floor for Caltech, now did it? The result was the same…A big “L” was constant time after time. Exactly how good was last year’s team Coach Dow? Was it really that good? What, was the margin of defeats less last year than this? Although, you guys just won, so doesn’t that make this year’s team the best Caltech has had, oh I don’t know…In the past 20-plus years? One thing is crystal clear coach…You no longer have to worry about being on the hot seat…Hell, the way it looks to me they should offer you a lifetime contract, with a lifetime achievement award considering the fact that 31 Nobel Prize winners either have taught or studied on the small campus. Why, you’ll be mentioned in the same breath as one Albert Einstein who lectured at Caltech and Linus Pauling who was a professor there as well.
Just one thing that I find disturbing about this whole thing…For an institution who’s renowned for its programs in math and science…Why is it also known for being lovable losers in its athletic programs. Doesn’t athletics involve both science and math? Isn’t this a clear indication that some where, some how the information isn’t being processed correctly? Perhaps that’s just me? One thing’s for sure…It’s good to know the basketball team at The California Institute of Technology, doesn’t fall into this category! Now isn’t?
Vote in LastRowSports.com Pick’em Poll this week which asks about “Cowboys Gaffes?” This is an interesting one considering what Tony Bobble did in Seattle! To find out you're choices you have to go to the home page and find out…You’ll be glad you did! Let’s just say voting in this poll is a whole heck of a lot easier than giving a cat a bath! NOTE: This isn’t a scientific poll, however by not voting in this non-scientific poll we’ll assume that you would rather give a cat a bath!
