Dice Baseball
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by user Manny Stiles
Back in the days before the Commodore64, young children everywhere (segue way) yearned for the chance to imagine, play various forms of baseball and play games with dice. Yes, long before Playstation 3, segways and self-parking cars, kids played games like "Life", "Stratego", "Risk" and "Sorry!" and some good board games, I mean 'bored games' too!! (Like Chutes and Ladders, Crush the Nearest Bug and C-4: Play More with Claymore!
From all of this play came viruses (for the Commodore64, sicko!), dice baseball and for the kids too cool to play dice baseball, parenthood!
I didn't have a computer because I was poor, so I played dice baseball... (roll soundtrack - voice over - "What's that last sound you hear before the dice hit the table?" dramatic pause.... "clack, clack"... bitches!)
Yes, before I learned of 10 and 12 sided dies (I'm really not a D&D kinda guy) and other games like APBA or Pursue the Pennant (I did play my share of seasons of PTP) I took two dice of different colors (Or two similarly colored dice and a marking tool), a little bit of probability factors, a piece of paper, a pen and a fartload of imagination and suddenly I was a league commissioner/tyrant that eliminated franchises to be mean such as the Louisville Slugs (cheap owner couldn't buy the whole word for the unis) and New Orleans Bearded Clams (moved the franchise because the logo was a crawdad claw, it made no sense).
Basically it goes like this: Two different colored dice, one color counts for the first column, the second color (get this) represents the second column. Roll dice, read chart, play baseball....
- 1-1 HR
- 1-2 deep fly out (SF)
- 1-3 BB
- 1-4 SINGLE
- 1-5 line out
- 1-6 K
- 2-1 TRIPLE
- 2-2 pop out
- 2-3 ground out
- 2-4 fly out
- 2-5 K
- 2-6 single
- 3-1 SINGLE
- 3-2 ground out
- 3-3 pop out
- 3-4 K
- 3-5 ground out
- 3-6 SINGLE
- 4-1 SINGLE
- 4-2 ground out (turn two)
- 4-3 K
- 4-4 pop out
- 4-5 fly out
- 4-6 DOUBLE
- 5-1 SINGLE
- 5-2 K
- 5-3 ground out
- 5-4 line out
- 5-5 fly out
- 5-6 DOUBLE
- 6-1 K
- 6-2 ground out
- 6-3 BB
- 6-4 ERROR CHART
- 6-5 deep fly out(SF)
- 6-6 HR
Notice, all K's are Sevens:prepare for a life of craps playing
ERROR CHART: (a second roll after rolling 6-4) 6-6 - HR 1-1 - Injury! Other team gets to make up your injury add dice together (3-11 is all nine positions) to determine whose error it was; but that's another chart
You can make 6-5 a WILDCARD play and make your own rules up! One time a player died in a game after he was stung by a bee running to firstbase on a single. (He was apparently allergic to the rare Southeastern Pennsylvania Inkblot Bee)
The point is, you get a totally random order that ends up having a league with lots of Home Runs (chicks dig the sixes) and K's, but you also bat 11-36 (.3055) if you hit all the outcomes once each. Change 1-4 to a ground out and the league bats 10-36 (.2777) and so on. You could custom tailor the chart to home and away, night and day, stregth of opponent's pitcher, random.... whatever!
This chart is for a DH league. Pitchers had their own charts (including bunting) for NL rules.
On a piece of paper (that's what kids played with back then), write the completely fabricated lineups (I liked having King Kelly catching, Paul Bunyan was a good first baseman, and while I loved U L, Jesus is one HELL of a shortstop), pick your Starting pitchers (Don't worry about how many pitches they throw, but change pitchers to shake up a hot roller)
You can make whole series play out in a matter of a handful of minutes. You could play a season in a few dedicated days! Once we even started a league that had 6 managers. I had the best record and lost to my buddy who went on a 40-2 freek run to sneak into his division title. Then beat me in seven games... Yes, I am still salty about that. Long Live the Bearded Clams!!!
I know I'm weird, but I never said I wasn't a dork.
