Dallas Cowboys 23 New Jersey Giants 20
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by user Josh Q. Public
Josh Q. Public: I wanna be a Cowboy baby. Ridin’ at night ’cause I sleep all day. A Cowboy baby. I can smell a pig from a mile away.
Public Service Announcement:
OK dumb-dumbs, here we go! For the first time in a long time, I watched a game from beginning to end. I watched the Giant game. Watched it with my boy, Chompers. The drama. The intrigue. Here are random thoughts while watching the game:
Romo doesn’t seem athletic by looking at him. Michael Irvin says his great great grandfather is Nate Griffin. Word has it, Romo’s relatives came into the Cowboys locker room. True story. I think. Francis Bledsoe sees them. Says: “Any of you Romos touch me, and I’ll kill you.” Stripes style. Classic. I didn’t even know that cat had a sense of humor. Romo moves it downfield but not-so Automatica chokes it up.
Tiki’s that guy in your office who gave his two weeks notice. Doesn’t care what he says. Doesn’t care what he does. Doesn’t care about anything. Vents about everything. Doesn’t care who he throws under the bus. Tiki is just 43 yards shy of 10,000 for his career. After he gets that, he’s got absolutely nothing to play for. Pride? Fuhgettaboutit. I think we can track the downfall of the Giants to Tiki’s announcement. Who’s stupid now Tiki?
Jeremy’s spoken. Touchdown! He’s getting it done so far. Walkie-Talkie Shockey. He talks the talk, now he’s walking the walk.
Penalty. I guarantee it’s on the Giants. They’re an unruly bunch of animals. Yup. Plaxico. Stupid. Aikman says they’re undisciplined. Beat you to it Troy.
Highlights from other games: Frank Gore. The steal of everybody’s fantasy draft. Frank Gore. The next Priest Holmes. LaDainian Tomlinson is the next Marshall Faulk. He’s actually better than Marshall Faulk. Even when Marshall Faulk was Marshall Faulk. Larry “John Rocker” Johnson is the next Marcus Allen.
The other Barber. The guy who actually likes his job. The guy still running with some passion. Finds his way into the end zone. Cowboys tie it up. Not looking good for New Jersey. First Rutgers, now this. The Great Gazoo, Automatica, nails the extra point. I’m as sick of seeing all the Parcells/kicker stats as much as the next guy, but it sure must be harrowing kicking for that dude. Just so you know, Marion Barber has scored a pair of TDs in each of his last three games.
Chompers is making fun of Coughlin for going for it on 4th and 1, up that close. I fall into Aikman’s propaganda and jump on the go for it bandwagon. Chompers stands steadfast. I was wrong. Bam Bam Jacobs gets hit for a loss. Geez, that’s two Flintstones references so far. Coughlin coaching like a divorced dad. Taking his kids he knows hate him to Astroland and buying them all the cotton candy they can stomach before they puke on his shoes. I’m a Coughlin guy too. It’s tough to watch. Chompers still ranting. “Stupid! Listen you jerk. They offered you a chance when you could have done something. They gave you a chance and you blew it! You blew it!” Cop Land style.
He certainly did. Gazoo nails a 41 yarder to give Dallas the lead at the half.
Eli to Senorita Moss. Shockey with the blockey. I really like Shockey’s game today. I like when they throw to him out of the gun. The Shock Gun. If I’m Tom Coughlin right now, the only people who touch the rockey are Walkie-Talkie Shockey and Bam Bam Jacobs. Chompers says Jacobs will be the next Jim Brown. I see it, but, still. The Plaxico call is a non-issue at this point. Going for it on 4th and 1 isn’t.
Whenever Tiki touches the rock, I beg it ends badly. I really don’t like this guy.
Old MC Butta Fingaz hisself. The Player drops another one. That’s 11 drops. That’s the most in the NFL.
Giants down on The Cowboys 8. I would throw it to Walkie-Talkie Shockey three times here. Divorced Dad doesn’t. Divorced Dad settles for a field goal.
Plaxico Buress is a complete and utter moron. First that stupid penalty, now this. What is wrong with him? How does he call that time-out? That time-out just gave Tuna another edge. Good thinking Plax.
Nate Griffin’s great great grandson works his way downfield with time and ease. Ballgame. The Great Gazoo does it again. Cowboys win! Cowboys win!
Giants have a real nice helmet. I don’t like the red shirts. Nice helmet though. A lot of good it did them. They lose. Their fourth loss in a row. Gazoo, Automatica, whatever you want to call him, kicks the winning field goal. The Giants leave the swamps of Jersey feeling all broke like. They’re all done. They were all done before this game even began. They were all done when disgruntled employee number 21 put in his resignation. They were all done when five employees went on disability. They were all done when everybody on that team threw anybody they could under the bus. Their future’s so bleak, they better wear shades. Timbuk 3 style.
Peace out homies. Six Two and Even! josh q public
