Coming of Age: Big Al Jefferson

by user Josh Q. Public

Josh Q. Public: The Big Man on the Campus want people to chant this and I mean this; if I have to I will get fiendish. And you will be the main course of a mean dish.

Public Service Announcement:

OK, here we go! Big Al. Big Al Jefferson. Big Al Jefferson coming up huge. Three years out of high school. Three years of Prentiss High School in good ole Miss. Three years out of Prentiss High School where he averaged 42 points and 16 rebounds per game. Whoa Nelly! Fresh out of Prentiss High School three years ago, becoming the first high school player to ever be drafted by the Boston Celtics. Over the past two seasons, Big Al has been an underachiever due to injuries. Cranky ankles. Not be confused with cankles. This year, Big Al had to undergo an appendectomy at the beginning of the season. Big Ben style. But he’s baaaaaack. Red rum style. Boy he is ever. Just murdering folks.

Consider his performance against the New Jersey Nets. A monster night. A breakout night. A Clearasil night. Big Al recorded game highs of 29 points and 14 rebounds. 29 points and 14 rebounds from a 21 year old man child. If that doesn’t open your eyes, we’ll have to go all Clockwork Orange on your ass. We’ll have to open your eyes and force you to watch Big Al do his best Kevin McHale impersonation in the post. Move after move. Making folks look downright silly. Big Al has arrived. Delivering the goods just in time for the holidays. So you better watch out, you better not pout. Big Al Jefferson is going to town.

He’s staying away from stupid fouls. Stupid fouls that have haunted him in the past. He’s been a rebounding machine, taking some of that pressure off of Paul Pierce and freeing him up to do his thang. On offense, he can either punch you in the mouth, or do plies inside the paint. The kid is a beast. In the game against the Sixers, Big Al went up to block all three of One Legged Webber’s attempts to jam. On the same play. All three. Friday night against the Nuggets, Jefferson was an absolute terror down low. He simply abused Nene and Camby. Giving them noogies, wedgies, and pink bellies on his way to 28 points and 10 rebounds. Last night, Big Al owned the middle. Last night, Big Al owned Emeka Okafor. Last night, Big Al recorded another double-double; netting 22 points and 10 boards. His play demands he stay in ballgames. His play demands he not be traded. The Celtics are on five game run right now. The Celtics are on a five game run right now and back in sole possession of first place. First in the Atlantic, first in our hearts. The Celtics are on a five game run right now and back in sole possession of first place; no small thanks to Big Al Jefferson.

Not for nothing, I watched the Ohio State game yesterday. Whoever gets Greg Oden is going to be very good for a very long time. There is no one I would not trade to get that pick. No one.

Not for nothing else, if you’re a New York Knick fan right now, how can you not love Big Nate Robinson. I think he’s my thirteenth favorite player in the NBA.

Last not for nothing: Why all the outrage about this fight, yet in hockey, it’s cool like Fonzie?

Peaceout homies. Six Two and Even! josh q. public