Comedy Hour with Roy Williams…The Quote Machine!
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by user LastRow
I hope Roy Williams never pipes down. Why? The Detroit Lions would be so much more boring without his commentary. Matt Millien has a new best friend…Come to think of it it’s his only friend in Detroit. Why with Roy always in the spotlight every time he decides to bump his lips together every time he sees a microphone all of us tend to forget just how pathetic Matt Millien really is! Roy’s just never at a loss for words…No matter how idiotic they make him look! Wait a minute, what am I saying…He has that God given ability to look like a jackass everytime he bumps his gums together! Without further ado, let’s take a look at Comedy Hour with Roy Williams…Stage name “The Quote Machine”.
(Disclaimer: All quotes are from some point in this season…If they don’t make sense to you or find yourself laughing uncontrollably, you’re most likely not alone!)
"We've got to get to the other side of the (win-loss) column," Williams said. "0-3? I would have paid you a million bucks at the start of the season if you would have told us we would be 0-3. That just can't happen."
"We're working hard; 0-3 doesn't mean we're out of the playoffs. We're not saying that we can't win these next thirteen games and finish 13-3. We're going to take it one game at a time; go to St. Louis and hopefully be 1-3 in this first quarter - then go get ready for the second quarter." To quote Jim Mora…”Playoffs, Playoffs, Playoffs….Playoffs………Playoffs?” Nuff said!
After his team's 9-6 season-opening loss to visiting Seattle, Detroit's Roy Williams guaranteed the Lions would beat the Bears at Soldier Field.
"We will win this game. Y'all can take that as a guarantee or whatnot, but we will win this game," Williams said the day after the Lions lost their opener, 9-6, to the Seattle Seahawks. – On the second week matchup against the Bears this season. Oops. That 34-7 loss to the Bears wasn’t in the plans now was it?
"Whoever it is (Detroit is playing), we'll win the game if we do what we're supposed to do," Williams said following the Bears loss. That team would’ve been the Green Bay Packers…And if I recall, the Pack didn’t have any troubles scoring, but yet again the Lions did as you guys lost again.
“We'll see Chicago again (Dec. 24 in Detroit) and we'll win if we do what we're supposed to do. This team is capable of scoring 28 points per game and we're averaging (6.5) points per game. That's 20 points below what we should be averaging. That's not good." How’s that scoring average now? Is it close to the 28-point plateau?
“Their defense is good (Chicago Bears), but it's not like it's that special." So if the Chicago Bears defense isn’t that special…Could you please define the term “special” for us Roy. I guess it must take a hell of a lot more than the number one overall defense in the league to make an impression on you?
"This (loss) wasn't on (Lions head coach Rod Marinelli)," Williams said. "He had us prepared to play. This is all on us, and I'm speaking for the offense. We hold, we jump offside, we turn the ball over. You're not supposed to do that. Our defense did its job, but we have to protect them. We have to score points."
And you’ve been doing that so very well this season, haven’t you Roy? Care to re-evaluate your offense averaging 28-points Although, it’s refreshing to know you show some mental capacity for understanding the game of football.
"We're a good football team, but we're making bonehead penalties and bonehead mistakes. Teams that win the Super Bowl don't make mistakes like that. Sorry Roy, hate to disagree with you once again, but you’re not a good football team! You’re the Detroit Lions! Big Difference! Still trying to clarify whether or not whether to label the Lions a football team at all?
Now for Roy’s latest incident with a microphone in his ugly mug…
"I'm going to say we can put this together. I feel we are a 9-0 ballclub." – Roy Willams
So the Lions are going to run the table from here on out…Yeah, and Kenny Rogers had dirt on his hand. Well, now wait a minute, let's look at the schedule, (Hi, Woody Paige) maybe Roy’s on to something?
ATLANTA FALCONS SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS at Arizona Cardinals MIAMI DOLPHINS New England Patriots MINNESOTA VIKINGS at Green Bay Packers CHICAGO BEARS at Dallas Cowboys
Nope, sorry…He’s not on to something! I think he’s on something! I thought the Lions got rid of Charles Rodgers because he was always on something?
We should know by now the only guarantee with the Lions is, just when you think they might not be terrible, they're right back to terrible.
Thanks to the Tigers, the Lions haven't really been on the radar so far this season. Their losing has taken a backseat to the Tigers winning. Now that the Tigers are in the World Series…At least for a couple more days. And with basketball, and hockey in full swing Roy’s word will definitely be falling on deaf ears in Mo-Town. However, I would like to send my sincerest thanks to you, for giving me the opportunity to make fun of your sorry ass! You make it so easy! Besides Matt Millen loving you, LastRowSports.com loves you too!
So there you have it, another installment of the Roy Willams Comedy Hour. To think if Roy was half as good on the football field as he is on the mic why he wouldn’t look like such a moron…Or would he? Stay tuned to further installments of this comic act…We all know it’s bound to happen!
Hey Roy, SHUT YOUR CAKE HOLE!
LastRowSports.com
