College Football is Getting Ri-G*d-Damn-Diculous
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by Editoratlegendofcecilioguante
This was originally posted on my blog, The Legend of Cecilio Guante, here. Stop by and check it out and more.
The University of South Florida is #5 in the country. In the AP college football polls. After holding on to beat Florida Atlantic? The Fighting Ron Zooks are 5-1 and undefeated in the Big Ten after beating Wisconsin!? Missouri pounded Nebraska. The University of Miami Hurricanes lost...to North Carolina? This year's Notre Dame team won a game? On the road? Against a Pac-10 opponent other than Stanford? Wait, Stanford beat USC?
In the words of Vince Lombardi: "What the hell is going on out here?!" Seriously, I don't like it. I know things change. I get parity. But there are certain things that should be immutable laws of nature. The U should be home to future felons and casually steamroll teams like UNC. The South Florida Bulls should be a nice CUSA team that always competes for the title of "most badass-looking dreadlocked dudes" but never competes for a national championship. At least not in football. Teams like Stanford should not beat teams like USC. Illinois should be perpetually below .500 in the Big Ten and making it only as high as the "receiving votes" category. Speaking of which...what in the world is going on with the Big Ten? Has the entire conference simply conspired to hand over the title, and by extension a legitimate opportunity at the national championship, to the Ohio St. Buckeyes? Really! What gives? Ok, so here's another potentially irrational nod to tradition. You're Nebraska. You run the ball. You recruit big 300+ lb. cornfed lineman from the heartland. You then recruit fast, powerful north-south tailbacks from Florida, California and Texas. You then put a 250 brick sh*thouse from Pennsylvania or Ohio in front of them and you pound the ball 35-45 times on the ground. You are Nebraska. You do not drop back 43 times to pass. Get over your identity crisis. And get over Bill Callahan. Otherwise, get used to getting pounded by the likes of Missouri. Honestly, as I'm typing some of this stuff, I still can not believe most of it. Other non-worldly stuff from the current AP top rankings and my assessment of what these teams really are in "real life"...which apparently does not exist in this year's version of college football that is taking place in some sort of alternative universe... California Golden Bears Current ranking #2 Who they really are: A very nice Pac-10 team that should win that conference and get into a BCS game after they lose an in-conference road game somewhere along the way. Boston College Current ranking #4 What they really are: A team that was not ranked preseason and would be a "nice story" if they end up in the top 15-20. By no means an elite team. A team should not be #4 if you sincerely believe they could lose to this year's versions of Maryland, VaTech and Clemson on the road, not to mention FSU at home. I believe these things are quite possible. Therefore, I can't believe the Eagles are ranked fourth in the country. South Carolina Current ranking: #7 What they really are: An overachieving squad with a good defense and an utterly unimpressive offense. Same as always. You have to give them some credit for winning at Georgia (I guess?) but this is no top 10 team. The scary thing is, I could keep doing this all day. Unfortunately, I just don't have the time. But take a look at the AP top 25. Tell me one thing that DOESN'T look strange to you. Here are a few more of the eye-poppers for me. #11 University of Missouri. Is Brad Smith still at quarterback? #15 Cincinnati. Kenyon Martin has dominated in the middle. Ummm...right...let's see. #16 Hawaii #17 Kentucky #18 Illinois #20 Kansas #23 Texas I simply can't take this much longer. Next thing I know you'll tell me the Yankees are going to fire Joe Torre. Wait, you've gotta be kidding me...
